To think teacher shouldn’t describe child as arrogant?

[pinkgreenpurpleblue]

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this adjective ascribed to (nearly 13 year old) child?

However, I'd also be telling my son what this teacher had said, and what he thought she might be talking about.

And again, trying to see it through the teacher's eyes, and what she might be trying to say, in a very time pressured space, and how taking it on board might actually be conducive to him performing even better.

It is really bothering you and I can see why because it feel a personal criticism of your child. You need to email her and just ask for a bit more of an outline of how this behaviour manifest itself so that you can speak to him about how to adjust his manner.

It's a bit like the difference between a teacher calling my DS1 lazy (he is) or idle , which seems stronger... DH calls him that. Not sure I'd like a teacher to use such a strong label.

YABU. Do you want her to lie to you about your child’s behaviour? Or just hide it from you?

You don’t need specifics. You know what arrogant means.

What you say to your son is that he needs to be careful of how he is presenting himself and coming across to others; get him to see himself as they see him.

Maybe you think they’re being unpleasant because you refuse to acknowledge your DS could be less than perfect, do you think he should be arguing with a teacher? possibly disrupting the class?

He's year 8 and described as arrogant. Op you need to get this sorted.

I agree with PPs who suggested apple/tree.

I was a perfectly behaved, studious, clever student at school. I left with excellent A Level results and got into Oxford. Part of the reason for those excellent grades was that a teacher called me arrogant at Parents Evening and suggested I developed a little bit of humility and listened to the people around me a bit more. He suggested I might learn things and have a better time socially. He was absolutely right, although I didn't think so at the time 😂

Why dont you talk to your child about it.

"Mrs X said you could be arrogant. What do you think you have done to make her think this? What could you do differently in that situation?" He is old enough to know what arrogant means and whether he has crossed a line e.g. being rude to the teacher, questioning her authority/intelligence

Oh and their is nothing wrong with asking why you lost points or didn't get a 9 or whatever but you should never ask a question you don't want the answer to. My eldest has continous assessment all the time (is in Germany) and they are marked out of 15 points for all tasks. They get given the criteria and they are told where they met it or what was needed for the extra 1 or 2 points for it to go from 13 well above average to 15 outstanding.
None of them then have a stand-off with the teacher as to why they got 12 not 15 - it's taken for granted that the staff teacher knew what they were looking for: personality clashes can exist but they are rare and seldom affect marking.

their? fuck me there.
Time to hit the hay.

If he was 5 I’d think you had a point, but he’s almost 13! Some kids of that age can be very arrogant. My brother was incredibly so! He was described as such by his teachers, probably all of them!!

He has turned into a nice, if slightly arrogant man. So I really would t worry too much about it.

It sounds as though you'll need to send an email seeking clarification or request a further meeting.
In my experience the arrogant pupils in the top sets (often boys) could be unpleasant to teach while being clever enough not to breach behaviour boundaries in any concrete way.

I'd be cross at my child that they had behaved in a way which could be seen as arrogant and not cross at the teacher.

Do (some) of you, and I don’t mean people like piggy who have been helpful, realise how unpleasant you’re being?
It's not unpleasant to point out that someone can be well behaved and still be arrogant.

One of my colleagues is a perfectly competent professional, but they're arrogant.
Someone I used to train with in sport was good in training and didn't prevent the rest of us getting on with our reps, but they were arrogant.

FloreanFortescue I agree about the honesty thing, I would like to think most decent parents would like honesty from teachers. Last year my sons report said he was a very lively member of the last (aka little bugger) However what they diddnt know was he was autistic and primary school had not sent his records up, it took him a year to settle in.

I teach a kid like this. He's bright enough. Not as bright as he thinks he is.

He doesn't misbehave as such.

What he does do is argue when I'm teaching. And he's categorically wrong with what he's saying but won't accept it. He gives me the side eye and the raised eyebrow. Argues with his grades even when the marking criteria is in front of him and explained.

He's a cocky little shit, basically. The other kids don't like him.

Oh, he's 12/13 too

But the apple not falling far from the treee, little shit comments are lola

I get that ils, still doesn’t give me a lot to go off.

@Peterspotter you're being ridiculous. Teachers come in for plenty of criticism on here.

I was called arrogant by a teacher once. There was some truth in it. I’d rather hear the truth, all things considered.

You get lots of year 8s who are arrogant, it's the year they realise they aren't the be all and end all, he'll hopefully grow out of it soon. If not have a word. Not the end of the world. Move on.

If your DS teacher describes him as arrogant, you can bet your life s/he is not the only one.

I bet "arrogant" wasn't the word the teacher would have liked to use but a polite way of telling you how your child is behaving.

apple not falling far from the tree

And I apologised for that. You're right that was an unpleasant, in fact, shitty, thing to say.

Ah sorry OP. Year 8. I assumed year 9. I had a lad who was arrogant in year 8 but much more congenial, appreciative, willing to listen and engage, open, communicative by the time he was in year 11. I also had a cocky year 7 pupil who was cocky throughout and got A* across the board so maybe his overconfidence was justified. SHOUTING THOUGH LIKE THIS when currently 93% of posters do not agree with you is, well, arrogant.

It was nice of you to apologise, you weren’t the only one though.