To not let DD go on this trip?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

Hands up, I’m quite anxious about this exact situation, I fear abduction but DH also thinks he’s leaning towards no as well but we’d like further opinion.

Dd has been invited by cubs to go on a seven day camp during May half term to a city 80 miles away. She’s 9, will be almost 10 at the time.

She goes on school trips, other cubs trips, family sleepovers etc and she’s our youngest child fwiw so no pfb here.

I just think this is too far and for too long and too risky but would appreciate your votes!

Am I unreasonable for declining the invitation?

Not like your mad fears that are totally stupid?

Do you have to be so unkind? This is a very real stress and mental health problem some people have. I thought we’d addressed the stigma of mental illness.

You are not being ridiculous. As usual there are parents on here who would gladly get rid of their kids for any length of time in the name of making them 'independent' and supposedly broadening their horizons regardless of their child's safety. These will be the same parents that dump their kids off at 8:40 on the school yard to avoid paying for a proper childminder or breakfast club.
You sound like a lovely mum op

Wow! That's a vile post and parents that don't suffer anxiety about irrational fears!

A week may be too long, but why on earth do you fear abduction?

*Not like your mad fears that are totally stupid?

Do you have to be so unkind? This is a very real stress and mental health problem some people have. I thought we’d addressed the stigma of mental illne*

My response was to someone who said that anyone disagreeing with you was making dickish comments .... that's also unkind! I won't be told my views are dickish because they don't match someone that agrees they suffer from anxiety.

Would your child want to go? If so then I wouldn’t hesitate.
You need to deal with your own anxiety too. It’s not fair to stop your child from doing things they may love because of your unfounded fears.

I would let her go if she wants to go, and don't if she doesn't.
If it does prove too long, and she's missing you and is miserable, then you can go pick her up early.

Seems a long camp for cubs. Scouts no problem and some go on overseas jamborees.

I very much doubt though that the leaders have suddenly gone ooh let's take our pack of noisy wild noisy things away for a week.

Have a word with them about it. They will put your mind to rest.

Ignore the nasty comments relating to your mental health. There’s always some people who come and take their anger and shitty lives out on other people. You can’t help that you worry about abduction. That’s a real fear for you. It doesn’t really matter what people on here say; if you want to keep her at home, do it.

I wouldn’t give it a second thought. It will be fine. My children, male & female, went all the way through the Scout movement and took part in some amazing activities and trips. My husband is a Scout Leafer and I know that their risk assessments are rigorous.

I would be happy with that. My 8yrs old would have gone on the Brownies camp for 5 days in October if the dates had suited. I used to go to camps (paid) during school holidays for 1-2 weeks from the age of 5onwards. I loved it! I remember struggling initially for the 2 weeks one but no issue with 1 week. So personally it would work for me.
(No I'm not trying to dump my kids on anyone, we never go away without them, no wish to do that, but yes happy for them to go away without us if appropriate! I do 'dump' them on the school playground at 840 but our school opens the gates at 840 so hopefully that's OK LOL).

Seven days is insane! Our trips don't do anything like that not even the scouts!

Trips=troops

It's a no from me. My son never went away with cubs at all. I had absolutely no faith in their ability to look after kids that age. I didn't know any of the 'helpers' either- too risky.

@Georgiethegorgeousgoat I think you're right. A 9 year old staying 7 nights 80 miles away in a tent without adults is madness at that age! I wouldn't feel happy about it either especially with the times we live in and just to add I'm a relaxed person and not a worrier by nature! You do not want to be having regrets about this because once you say yes and she's left for the trip you can't really change your mind considering the distance away. Btw you are NOT being ridiculous either as a PP suggested. I understand your fear about abduction because they do occasionally happen and the truth is some camp sites are more secure than others and I know this from experience. I am not feeding your fears, I just don't want you to rush into a decision either way. You already let her go on shorter trips nearer home which are perfect for her age. Anyway she can always go on longer trips when she's a bit older and you'll feel more confident about letting her go then as she will be more mature etc. That's my tuppence worth!

@Butterfly98 do you have any statistics on cub camp site abductions? I can't recall any but you state they happen occasionally, so I may be wrong?

I was 10 and travelled 160 miles from home, for a week. In tents, no adults. Shows how things have changed since the 70s.

Far too long at that age, would be a no from me.

My DS went on a school skiing trip to France at that age. The only thing I found difficult was waving him off.

I think if she's keen you should let her go.

When ds2 was 9/10 he went on the same camp of 7 days but the location was much closer.

I think in that case you’d be wrong to deny her the same opportunity as her brother.

Rationally you must know that abduction is extremely unlikely. There’s a much higher chance of her not developing independence or self confidence because of your anxiety.

@spongejack I meant abductions in general happen occasionally, I didn't say specifically at cub camps!

Then Don’t come on AIBU
I have so many friends who are so fucked up from what happened in their childhood.

It’s depressing the amount of people who live lifelong with issues because their parents couldn’t deal with their own issues. Lifelong anxiety meds. Lifelong abusive relationships.
Eating disorders
Alcohol problems

All because of their parents

My DC's have been on multiple cub camps. I think the longest was 5 or 6 days. They have had an absolute blast. I would let your dd go and enjoy herself.