To not let DD go on this trip?

[GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat]

Hands up, I’m quite anxious about this exact situation, I fear abduction but DH also thinks he’s leaning towards no as well but we’d like further opinion.

Dd has been invited by cubs to go on a seven day camp during May half term to a city 80 miles away. She’s 9, will be almost 10 at the time.

She goes on school trips, other cubs trips, family sleepovers etc and she’s our youngest child fwiw so no pfb here.

I just think this is too far and for too long and too risky but would appreciate your votes!

Am I unreasonable for declining the invitation?

My daughter's were both 10 when they went away with guides for 6 nights. It was fine and they loved it. I'm not sure why you think she'll be abducted. There will be adults around presumably. They also went away with the school camping for 5 nights (no adults in tents) and again all was fine.
YBU to worry about the things you are. If you think she may be homesick that's more reasonable but the chances are she'll love it.

My ds turned 10 a week before starting year 6 and 2 weeks later they went on their residential which was 300 miles away and lasted 5 nights. There was no question of him (or any other child afaia) not going this is a rite of passage for them all .

That said, 7 nights in a city seems an excessively long time - I think they will need a long and varied list of activities to keep them entertained otherwise they do then risk boredom/homesickness.
Chance of abduction is so slim I'm a bit that it's even on your radar and suggests you are unusually anxious which you don't want to pass on. My ds slept in dorms when in Cubs but now he's a scout they are alone in tents - great fun and get up to all sorts of mischief as you should as a child

You shouldn’t hold your DC back because if your fears. If he wants to go, let him. Where will this fear end? Will he go to university? Mine went to brownie camp at 9. No problems. I think you ask DS what he wants to do! Abide by that. It’s not too far or too long!

Would your daughter like to go?
We live in England & last Summer, when my son was 10, he went to Ireland with Scouts.
He had never been away from home for more than 2 nights. He was the youngest Scout going. He had never been to another country without us. He is also our dc3.
Did he panic before going? Of course he did.
Did he love it? Most definitely, & the 1st thing he said on returning was that next year he could go to Scotland!
Did he get abducted? No! Have you heard of any Cubs/Scouts ever being abducted whilst on camp? Please do not allow your fears to prevent your daughter having fun unless there is a back story you have not told us about.

In year 5 so ages 9/10 we went away for 5 days with school so if she's happy and confident with it herself I'd think it's OK??

Offer to help?

She has done 2/3 nights PGL etc with school so I’m not terrible but I do feel this is a further step.

Sorry DD! Read cub camp so assumed a boy.

My kids have camped home and abroad for 10 to 14 days in tents without any issue. If you have a real concern could you or your DH go on the trip as a helper, you would need to have a scout DBS.

I think if you have GAD you should address that.
Talking to the cub leaders about their safety policies won't help as your anxious brain will always come up with a 'ah but what if' for every measure they have in place. You have trusted them in the past, your dd has no special needs, other children her age are going, there is no reason why she shouldn't go.
Seriously, get some support (there are lots of self help resources) otherwise you risk passing on this anxiety to your dd.

My daughter went at just 11 she loved it. Yes they sleep in tents but leaders tent always very close.

I’ve never heard of a cubs camp where the kids camp in tents

Half the fun of cubs is sleeping in a tent! Ours camp in tents with parents in Beavers, then with their pack from Cubs onwards.

OP - wow! Unclench seriously. She will not be abducted from a tent full of 9 and 10 year olds high on sugar with adults metres away. If she wants to go (and you can't exactly hide the fact that it's happening as they'll be spending a lot of meetings preparing for it) and is happy to stay away from home it'll be a huge amount of fun and she'll develop hugely. Why is the distance an issue?

I wouldn't be happy

I was a Brownie leader for 20 years and we honestly never camped for more than 3 nights and even then it was at secure scout campgrounds.
7 nights is a long time for a 9 year old.
Is this Blackpool by any chance?

I just think this is too far and for too long and too risky but would appreciate your votes!

What is 'too risky' about it?

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat I have anxiety too and abduction is my trigger so I totally sympathise with you

You either trust your Cub leaders or you don't... Whether it's a day trip, a one night trip or 7 days.

I'm in awe of Cub leaders managing a 7 day camp though.. logistics means we struggle for more than 3 nights.

As for tents... Beavers (6-8yos) sleep in tents. Why wouldn't they?

Incidentally, the furthest away we've taken Cubs is... The Netherlands. At that camp there were (British) Cubs from France, Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Luxembourg, Denmark and Czechia.

I almost hesitate in saying this incase it feeds your GAD about abduction, but could you get her one of those watches with GPS in so you always know where she is?

I personally think you should let her go if she wants too. You can’t let your fears as a parent hold your children back.

If DD wanted to go I would have let her. They will be supervised and they will have done proper risk assessments beforehand. I suspect they've also done the same visit more than once before so know what they are doing even more so.

At 10y, year 5, dd went on a week's school trip to France on a residential style activity centre. Some of her friends were still 9. She, and her friends, loved it. It did feel a bit scary letting her go so far away but that was my own issue. DD had no such concerns about it!

No fucking way. 7 nights?!?

What is 'too risky' about it?

^

The fact that she's only 9 and lacks an adult capacity to make decisions for an entire week? In a place she doesn't know?

The fact that she's only 9 and lacks an adult capacity to make decisions for an entire week? In a place she doesn't know?

What decisions beyond cheese spread or jam sandwiches for lunch do you think she'll be making?

They're not going to be dumped solo in a random city with nothing but a map and compass, and 10p to make a phone call.

YABU to let your anxiety drive your decision. That does not mean you should let her go, you need to find a way to make a rational decision based on reality rather than your anxiety. That may mean leaving the decision up to your DH and not having anything to do with it.

It’s cub camp week...? They do it up and down the country. If my DD wanted to go then I would trust them to know what they’re doing. 80miles is drivable in a day if she changed her mind but I bet she’ll have the time of her life.

Your letting your MH affect your children. This is not good.
You are allowed to look after children while suffering but not if it affects their life choices.