Cockblocked by colleague

[GhostCurry]

I work in an office with a communal eating area.
There’s a guy I fancy, and for once he was sitting alone. I worked up the nerve to sit across from him - and my (junior!) colleague, who was sitting nearby, said “Ghost, there’s room for you here”. It felt weird to insist on staying put so I moved.

Should I say something? It’s not just about the guy - I find her a little patronising at times. I know she’s being nice and it’s very sweet but she has a habit of mothering people, and it rubs me up the wrong way

You should have just stayed put!!!!

Huh? Surely she was just being nice?
Does she even know you like him?

You do realise that getting up the nerve to sit near him was no guarantee of coitus...

I guess so, she was just being nice. But I don’t need to be rescued! I don’t need my choice of where I sit questioned.

I find her patronising like I said, and I’d like to know how to talk to her about that. She’s always giving me concerned looks and asking if I’m ok, which I find inappropriate

Ok, guess IABU. We work in a really big office and these opportunities are rare so I feel annoyed about it!
I should have stayed put, but I was on the spot and froze.

What? She was just being nice?! She sounds a better friend than you - you liking this guy is clouding your judgement. She was just trying to be nice!

To have been cock blocked surely you need to have a cock?

Someone you work with said there was a seat by them when you were going to sit opposite someone you fancy? They had no idea you famcy him, you never as a rule sit with him and you are annoyed? You are vvu.

What a bitch, offering you a seat

Seriously though, next time a cheery 'I'm fine thanks!' and think no more about it.

Why is she always giving you concerned looks!? Have you over shared & she sees herself as your confidante & support? If you are friendly, maybe you need to be more direct next time she does the 'are you OK' thing. Say "I'm fine & you keeping on asking is getting weird" .

Why didn't you just say 'thanks but I'm fine'?

@LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook I was thinking the same lol

Do you normally sit near her?
Did it look like you were snubbing her?

If you wanted a one to one with the guy, you should have made up something you needed to talk to him about.

And if you really fancy him, you should find other ways to see him on his own. If you are going to rely on him being the only one in the eating area, you'll both die single. (assuming he is)

Should have just said "nah it's ok I'm here now"

And yes she is just being nice. You may not like her but unless she is actually doing anything wrong there is no need for you to speak to her. You are interpreting her looks as concern and her asking if you are ok as patronising when in fact many people use you ok as a conversation starter. I suggest you ether ignore her or just be polite depending on how professional you wish to seem.

To have been cock blocked surely you need to have a cock?
Can still work even in the absence of a personal-attached cock, she from blocked from a cock she wanted (cock owners concent dependant.)

Not sure about if its workable both individuals are cockless however.

You could have just said:

"Thanks for the offer but I've sat here now....I'll keep "Bob" company"

If you are an adult then make and own your own decisions. Stop giving power to this other person .

You froze? Christ, she only offered you a seat. No wonder she looks concerned if that's your reaction

FFS. I wish this was the only sort of thing I had to worry about.

@GhostCurry - how old are you?

You do sound a little bit hesitant - most people don't need to 'work up the nerve' to sit next to someone at work - and she might be picking up on that. However, it's entirely your business if you are shy, and I agree it is rude to keep on asking someone if they're ok. I wonder if you're actually displacing irritation at that onto this episode, which doesn't seem very out of the ordinary?

I would find someone constantly asking me if I'm ok irritating as fuck too. Dunno if it's more irritating in a junior colleague, but maybe.

Can you ask her if something is troubling her? Eg say 'I'm a bit worried that you keep asking me if I'm ok - is there something the matter with you that I can help you with? It's making me feel a bit uncomfortable.'

OMFG are you 12?

She wasn't patronising by being polite and friendly, it's telling you think she was though..When you say "junior", please tell me you're not her boss in any way

you fancy a guy, be a grown up, invite him directly for a drink, or invite a GROUP of people for a drink, organise drink gathering for your /his team and go from there.

A giggling grow-up acting like a teenager is not attractive.

Yes she was being nice, but I had sat down with someone! It felt really rude to stand up and leave him on his own, but I also don’t want people to know I like him

Could you not have looked her in the eye and said "you are in the way of the cock I desire?"