Cockblocked by colleague

[GhostCurry]

I work in an office with a communal eating area.
There’s a guy I fancy, and for once he was sitting alone. I worked up the nerve to sit across from him - and my (junior!) colleague, who was sitting nearby, said “Ghost, there’s room for you here”. It felt weird to insist on staying put so I moved.

Should I say something? It’s not just about the guy - I find her a little patronising at times. I know she’s being nice and it’s very sweet but she has a habit of mothering people, and it rubs me up the wrong way

You need to be more assertive! How was she / he whoever supposed to know.

What's her being a Junior got to do with anything? You sound slightly obsessed with position and a bit sneery like 'how dare she offer you a seat when she's only a junior.'

You are projecting your lack of confidence onto her. You're not confident enough to ask out the guy you like or tell her you wanted to stay where you were. It's not her fault you didn't stay put, it's you not being assertive enough. I'm betting she is likely a more confident person and that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable.

Why don't you concentrate on working when you are at work? Plus all you have to reply was "I'm fine here, thanks."

How weird, what an over reaction to someone being friendly.
Before you come onto this guy, sort your issues out as they are outstanding, even on here.

As much as I think OP IBU I find your comment bizarre Ghoul . Considering Ghost was on a break I imagine it was work free time .
Jeez

Oh my God OP you could just have said "I'm fine here thanks!" and left it at that!

She invited you to join her? The nerve! What a total cow!

In all seriousness OP, she was being friendly. YABVU. She probably doesn't even know you like him and if you didn't want to move you didn't have to. There's nothing to speak to her about. Let it go.

@Squigean well in the absence of cock it would be cunt shunt

@JesusInTheCabbageVan I can't remember! I was a lot younger than I am now so probably thought I had led Bloke2 on in some way to make him think I fancied him. I realise now of course that was nonsense.

Senseless - it is exactly that.

I don’t always want to sit with the same people. It’s like she was putting me back in my box, it’s irritating. I don’t need help choosing my seat thanks

Ive no idea why you felt you needed to mention that your colleague was junior. Is it because you think she shouldnt offer you a seat?

So you'd ALREADY sat next this guy, then you got up to move? You should have just said that you're ok to stay where you were

You handled this situation poorly, its not your 'junior' colleagues fault

I do understand your annoyance, but it really isn't your colleagues fault, next time she asks if your ok maybe you could make light of it and retort with 'I was until you called me away from sitting next to the hottest guy in the office' then swear her to secrecy, you say she's sweet & kind if she is she will have your back.
@GhoulWithADragonTattoo I thought this happened in the office eating area, didn't working through your lunch break die out in the eighties.

@SoupDragon Fri 10-Jan-20 12:12:20 What is cock blocking??

When one person is pursuing another for the purpose of sex and a third person steps in to stop this from happening.

'I don’t need help choosing my seat thanks'

Then why move? All you've done is give the impression to do need help

You need to be a lot more assertive. If someone invites you to join them for lunch and you're already sitting down, telling them you're fine where you are, is absolutely okay. The hot bloke at work probably thinks you're either a bit of a nelly or part of the Mean Girls Gang, now.

On a completely separate note, is there something in the water in a lot of offices these days? So many different posters fancying me they work with. I'm just jealous because there are no hot men in my office

Were you even talking to him or were you sat opposite him waiting for him to confess his undying love?

What's the fact your colleague is junior got to do with anything? Are junior colleagues not allowed to invite more senior colleagues to sit with them? Next time let her know to stay in her box.

So many different posters fancying me

No need to brag @CassidyStone

I think it is relevant that she's a junior colleague, if she's patronising the OP and asking if she's OK all the time. It's very inappropriate to do that at work.

"actually Gemma I need to have a chat with Jeremy here to see if he fancies giving me his sausage so I'll see you back at the office later"

'I think it is relevant that she's a junior colleague, if she's patronising the OP and asking if she's OK all the time. It's very inappropriate to do that at work.'

Then if this is the case (which she hasnt mentioned) OP needs to say something like 'yes im fine, im not sure why you keep asking?'

Again, OP needs to be a bit more assertive

Yes she was being nice, but I had sat down with someone! It felt really rude to stand up and leave him on his own, but I also don’t want people to know I like him

Well - why didn't you invite her to join you?

"Once my bum is on a chair it won't be moving until after lunch. Come on over here."

Okay - you risk being stuck with her unwanted company, but it doesn't look rude.

I find her patronising like I said, and I’d like to know how to talk to her about that. She’s always giving me concerned looks and asking if I’m ok, which I find inappropriate

I'm not surprised tbh

I feel a bit head-tilty just reading your opening and subsequent posts.

When one person is pursuing another for the purpose of sex and a third person steps in to stop this from happening.

Blimey. What is acceptable in the work canteen has changed since my day...

OMG how dare a JUNIOR! colleague speak to you!

I think it is relevant that she's a junior colleague, if she's patronising the OP and asking if she's OK all the time. It's very inappropriate to do that at work.

Not as inappropriate as trying to crack on to someone in the canteen but ok