Cockblocked by colleague

[GhostCurry]

I work in an office with a communal eating area.
There’s a guy I fancy, and for once he was sitting alone. I worked up the nerve to sit across from him - and my (junior!) colleague, who was sitting nearby, said “Ghost, there’s room for you here”. It felt weird to insist on staying put so I moved.

Should I say something? It’s not just about the guy - I find her a little patronising at times. I know she’s being nice and it’s very sweet but she has a habit of mothering people, and it rubs me up the wrong way

In my 20s I once was on a training course sitting next to the guy I fancied and chatting with him when another bloke I knew came along and said he had something he needed to tell me and drew me aside into another room. What Bloke2 had to tell me was he realised I fancied him, Bloke2, and he was very sorry but he had just started going out with my best friend and he hoped I wasn't too upset. I found Bloke2 generally incredibly annoying and was not attracted to him in the slightest. Of course when I went back Bloke1 had wandered off somewhere else.

@AJPTaylor
😂😂😂

OP had you started conversing with the guy? I would think it a bit rude if you just got up and left, I doubt you saying I am fine thanks would have revealed your feelings for him. You’re overthinking it. Would you ask him out? It’s a long time since I was dating but what were you hoping to gain from sitting next to him? Can’t you just go and chat to him whenever you want?

You could simply have told her that you were keeping him company, and stay where you were.

You sound very immature, what age are you and why is the fact that your colleague is "junior!" relevant?. Have you considered that the guy doesn't "fancy" you back OP?. Odd post.

Thanks Sarah, you get it 100%

Thanks all for your comments! Perspective gained!

Try sitting next to him in maths class?

If I had moved, I'd have asked him to join us too, so he wouldn't be alone.

Just be friendly to him and find some common ground when you're in a group. Don't work up nerves to get close to him.

It sounds like you were sitting there in silence and she thought you’d like to be invited over. I’m sure she wouldn’t have interrupted a conversation to ask you. Why had you not gone over and said hello and started a conversation. Sitting across someone you like in silence doesn’t actually show you like him.

Why are you bothered about your junior asking if you are okay? You literally want to start a fwb/relationship with someone you work with but clearly don’t like to be spoken about at work. The two don’t match up.

What is cock blocking??

If you don’t want anyone to know you like him, how would the conversation with her have gone? “Junior colleague, don’t ask me to sit with you”???

Was it a tea party and the mad hatter shouted for you all to change places?

No?

Then you say "no thanks I'm good here" ASSERT YOURSELF WOMAN.

Is it this? - Is JuniorColleague the sort of person whose "kindness" is a bit controlling and always wants "the gang" together?
I don't like having seats saved for me by my direct team at work events. I feel like this is the chance not to sit by the same people all the time. (I don't fancy anyone at work.) If they assume we are all going about in a bloc, then I feel it might seem rude for me to say, effectively, "actually I don't want to sit with you today."

I don't like the implication I can't "cope" without them and I feel a bit throttled by it all.

I think, OP, you need to woman up and challenge this person with your manner, if not verbally and directly. A raised eyebrow and "I'm ok here thanks" or "of course I'm fine. Are you?" might do the job

You don't belong to her and she's sort of implying you do. It's annoying.

It's like those people who respond to smalltalk with unsolicited advice. Eg I say "what do you think of these new whatnots?" and the other person says, "well I had them like this at my last job. What you need to do is -" and I immediately know that person is someone who grabs control when there is no need for someone to take control, and Not My Type.

@ImportantWater bloody hell, what did you say to Bloke2 when he came out with that gem?

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook
You are assuming Ghost is a woman?

Your colleague sounds annoying, and a bit of a busybody. I would find that kind of unsolicited attention/concern rather suffocating.

Pass him a note in Geography. Worked for me.

I'll take things I wouldn't dream of making a MN thread about for 100, Alex

Was this in the high school dining hall?

Ewww, that's like, so annoyyyang. Like srsllyyyy

Why don’t you want anyone to know you “fancy” him? Is he the elephant man or something? Are you scared they’re going to talk about you in the PE changing rooms?

Why is everyone saying the colleague was being nice? It's not very nice to encourage one of your friends to leave another colleague sitting on their own! If she was nice she's have extended the invitation to him as well.

What did Bob do? How did he react?

(apart from waving his huge cock madly in the air, of course)

So you’d already say down with this guy? Had you even talked to him? Or was it “mind if I sit here since there’s no tables free” or “can I join you for lunch and chat”? If the latter very rude of you to move and leave him to be honest.

But then the whole “junior colleague” is doing you no favours, it’s like looking down on the cleaning staff. Awful attitude to have. Plus the whole “office crush” is kind of pathetic.

I think it is a bit mean to get up and sit with someone 'better'. You could have told her to come over and join you, if you didn't want him to realised that you fancied him, or just said no I'm ok over here.

Pass him a note with: do you like me? And two tick boxes for yes and no.