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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday without your kids?

193 replies

Popc0rn · 09/01/2020 19:10

Just wondering what other people's thought are on this, would you go on holiday and choose not to take your young (aged less than 10) children with you? Children would be looked after by someone they are very close to.

YABU = No, I wouldn't go on holiday without my children.

YANBU = Yes, I would go on holiday without my children.

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 09/01/2020 21:15

I would without a doubt! Mine are 2 and 4!

feeona123 · 09/01/2020 21:17

Have just booked a 3 night holiday without the kids!

Staying in 5* luxury in Madrid whoop!!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/01/2020 21:20

You dont but it is just something else that is a good part of it. Never having a few nights away from your DC doesnt make you a superior parent despite your tone. In fact staying with relatives for a few days whilst parents are away can in fact be very beneficial to children.

2020yQy · 09/01/2020 21:22

Didn’t realise you had to go on holiday though to have something to talk about with your dc😂 I have plenty of conversations with mine everyday.

Spectacularly missing the point there! So sanctimonious.

MrsTumbletap · 09/01/2020 21:28

Yes have many times.

DH and I do a family one, I do one on my own, both do one with his friends, and we do one as a couple.

notacooldad · 09/01/2020 21:32

notacooldad - well they would do the same thing as there parents Did and think it’s ok. You set the example so they think it’s fine and not a crap thing to do
Thinking about my parents went away for two weekes every Sunday and we stayed at nans. I loved it!!! We still went to school ever day but we had loads of fun! When I go away they were still at home with dad, gig to school, Cubs,scouts, football etc. I think I got the better deal as a jud because nan spoiled us rotten!

VerbenaGirl · 09/01/2020 21:34

They grow up so quickly. Mine are teens now, so I know that there are probably only a few family holidays left now and I’m really glad we never missed out on any of them. The odd grown up day out or girls night out was always enough of a break for me.

Isithometimeyet0987 · 09/01/2020 21:34

My mum and dad regularly went on holiday without us as kids (we always had proper family ones aswell) and me and dh do the same some with dd some without since she was 7months my mum and dad kept her for a week while we went to Rome.

YouJustDoYou · 09/01/2020 21:35

Yes. It's great. I only go for a few days though. We never have childcare so took it in turns for a few days off here and there when they were young.

carlywurly · 09/01/2020 21:48

Hell yes. A trip to a luxury adults only place with dp is the biggest (and arguably only) perk of divorce. I have the dcs 95% the time, work full time and take them away a couple of times a year too so I feel no guilt.

They go away with their dad too so they're quite well travelled.

StrawberryDreamX · 09/01/2020 21:55

I've been away for long weekends, wouldn't go away any longer than that with them being so young. If you have people willing to look after them and dc are happy to stay with them I don't see the problem.

nowaypose · 09/01/2020 21:57

I have done it a couple of times. They went on holiday with my Mum at the same time and it was during the holidays so I was off work. Should I have sat around the house waiting for them to return? Nah, I had lovely city breaks instead.

TheABC · 09/01/2020 22:02

I would happily go on a short weekend break away, without the kids.
The main family holiday would be a different matter.

BackforGood · 09/01/2020 22:08

I haven't voted, as it depends so much on circumstances.

If I had masses of annual leave, or didn't WOTH, then it is a very different question from being asked if you would use a 1/5th of the time I could spend with them, on going somewhere else

I don't have an issue with the concept of leaving them with their Dad, or potentially a young and energetic Grandparent or an Aunt or Uncle or Godparent. I don't have an issue with being apart from them, but, unless money (and time) were so plentiful it meant I could have several holidays, then on balance, at U10, I'd rather spend my holiday with them
However, if it were a one off opportunity to - I don't know, go on an all expense paid safari or something I'd always fancied doing that somehow I'd won or something, then I'd do it. If it were me aying for something I could do with the dc, then no, I wouldn't at that age.

Waveysnail · 09/01/2020 22:12

Mine are 6, 8, 11 and no I dont think I could leave them for more than a weekend.

rooboo1 · 09/01/2020 22:12

Yes

oblada · 09/01/2020 22:18

No I wouldn't enjoy the holidays as much. Kids can be fabulous travel companions. My kids (7, 4 and 18months at the time) loved sightseeing in Rome with us last year. I'll have child free holidays when they're teenagers/grown up. For now I'm happier with them. Maybe I'd feel differently if I wasn't working FT? Not sure. My parents went on many holidays without us (my brother and I) and we did resent them a bit for it.

AnneElliott · 09/01/2020 22:25

Yes I would and I have. But H and I have only been away once - all other times just one of us has gone and DS has been left with the other parent.

stopgap · 09/01/2020 22:29

We go away three or four times a year, and one of those trips is a four-day break without our children. Their grandparents have them and they have a great time. NBD.

Poetryinaction · 09/01/2020 22:31

We went to visit a friend for 4 nights. Took the littlest, left the 4 and 5 year olds in our house with their auntie and uncle. They had a blast. I couldn't leave them any younger personally. Well, I had to for work, but they were left at home with their dad.

danadas · 09/01/2020 22:37

No not a chance. It would feel weird to leave them behind.

danadas · 09/01/2020 22:37

In fact, if I was going to it would be when they were young and didn't realise that they were missing out but def not older.

HairyFloppins · 09/01/2020 22:40

If it was a mini break then it's fine. But we tend to only have one main family holiday to the USA or Med. I think they would feel most put out.

They are 13 and 18 now though so probably won't want to come with us for much longer. They are always welcome though. I really enjoy sharing things with them, I can't imagine any of our USA road trips without them.

PandaG · 09/01/2020 22:45

Yes I would, and have, lots of times. First time DC were 1 and 3 and my parents had them for a week over our 10th wedding anniversary, at their suggestion. Gabi g been once DC tgen went to grandparents for a week at a time for a holiday 3 or 4 times a year, and we had a night or maybe 2 away once or twice a year while the kids were on holiday with their GPs. As they got older and went on scout camp or church camp with their mates we would perhaps go away then as well, but always had a couple of holidays with DC each year, camping or similar. Both sets of GPs live by the sea, in holiday destinations visits to family with and without parents were also very much holidays, we just didn't have to pay for accommodation. DC are now adult, and choose to go for a few days to stay with grandparents without us, in fact they actively chose to go as small children and teens too. Often we got on with jobs like decorating while they were away, as well as working, so we had more tone to spend with them while they were at home.

Icanflyhigh · 09/01/2020 23:02

I can't say that YABU, it's entirely your choice. For me I can't even contemplate it, so much so that all 3 DCs will be coming with me and DP (who will then be DH) on our honeymoon this year.
ExH has holidayed all over the world since leaving his kids and seems to have no issue doing this, but I just can't stand the thought of being out of the country without them.