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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday without your kids?

193 replies

Popc0rn · 09/01/2020 19:10

Just wondering what other people's thought are on this, would you go on holiday and choose not to take your young (aged less than 10) children with you? Children would be looked after by someone they are very close to.

YABU = No, I wouldn't go on holiday without my children.

YANBU = Yes, I would go on holiday without my children.

OP posts:
Chuffit · 09/01/2020 19:34

We always had a holiday each year without the kids. They used to have a holiday with my parents at the same time as we had ours.

totallyradllama · 09/01/2020 19:35

No I'm happier when we're all together

museumum · 09/01/2020 19:35

For a long weekend or up to 4-5 days - yes. If somewhere he wouldn’t enjoy (eg city) A fortnight definitely no. A week hmmm maybe, probably not though.

midwest · 09/01/2020 19:36

Yes, we have done this a few times since they were 3.
Age 11 I think they look forward to having a break from us more than we look forward to the holiday!

BlueEyedGreeness · 09/01/2020 19:37

No way!
Maybe overnight or a weekend in the country but not abroad.

Would only do it when they're old enough to stay alone (16+)

Sirzy · 09/01/2020 19:37

Ds is 10, in the last couple of years I have been to my partners Mums in France (3-4 nights) and a couple of weekends away without DS. For me that’s long enough but I wouldn’t judge anyone as long as the child is safe and cared for

FthisS · 09/01/2020 19:37

No but I've never had a night away from mine apart from school residentials. But we have no family or friends so I guess it's different.

glorioussilence · 09/01/2020 19:39

No, and I don’t think people “need a break”

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 09/01/2020 19:40

I would do a few days away in the UK but I wouldn’t go abroad.

Whatsername177 · 09/01/2020 19:41

I haven't voted because I think it depends - a city break away for a couple of nights kid free - hell yes! DH and I have had one or two, one night breaks away together in the last 8 years, and I have been away with friends on 4 occasions where I've stayed away for two nights. However, that has been in addition to our family holidays, so, the kids still get a holiday. I wouldn't go away for a week on a beach holiday, nor would I fly long haul. I wouldn't judge any parent who did though - my own boundaries are personal based on what I feel most comfortable with. Time to yourself is very important too. My dds are 8 and almost 3.

SpinMill · 09/01/2020 19:43

Longest weve done is 3 nights, not sure I'd want to go for any longer without DC. I also only do it as we have a family holiday too, I wouldn't take a holiday if they were going without.

HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 09/01/2020 19:45

It somewhat depends. Who would be looking after them (grandparents who love to have them for a week and who the kids are close to or someone the kids don't see often who begrudgingly agreed since you guilted them into it). How often do you go away with the kids too? How sensitive are the kids to being left?

Personally I wouldn't do it anyway as I'd prefer to go on holiday all together - that's what it's all about for me.

Aragog · 09/01/2020 19:45

I have never wanted to and haven't done. We've had the odd one or two nights away child free, and dd has been away without us too.

In fact October this year may be the first child-free holiday I will go on since DD was born, and the only reason she isn't likely to come with us in October is that she will be at university so unlikely to have the week off. DD loves holidays and always has done so it would have felt unfair to her. People have told us on and off for the past 3 years that "Oh it'll be the last family holiday, she won't want to go with you in future, but it hasn't happened yet and she is almost 18y.

However, other people do and I don't think it is an issue in general, so long as those caring for their children are actually willing volunteers and the children still get a decent family holiday as well.

MrsBrentford · 09/01/2020 19:46

When I went abroad (and my mum stayed here with them because their father let me down) we agreed that a broken bone I wouldn’t fly home for, anything more than that I would.

notangelinajolie · 09/01/2020 19:46

No I never went on holiday without mine. They are adults now but we sometimes still invite them to come with us.

Sirzy · 09/01/2020 19:47

No, and I don’t think people “need a break”

You might not. But as a full time carer to a disabled child I know I blooming well do. In fact denying I needed a break for many years played havoc with my mental health

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 09/01/2020 19:48

I went on holiday recently without ds (4). I missed him but really needed the break after a stressful year.

Herpesfreesince03 · 09/01/2020 19:49

My favourite part of every holiday is lying on a lounger with a gin in my hand watching my kids having a whale of a time in the pool :)

Myyearmytime · 09/01/2020 19:50

Wow
You lot most be mega rich .
You afford over 2 hoildays year !!!!!

I don't think any of you are living in real world .
Do you give grandparents/ whoevere money for looking after your kids for weeks at a time .
I think it only those whi grandparent are young and fit and rich and afford to look after aa couple kids for free .

Otherwise most people will be struggling to afford one holiday a year for the family .

Most people only 5 week off a week and most have to use that holiday to cover child care in summer holidays.

Maybe83 · 09/01/2020 19:52

Yes I have. It's not like we go on family aimed holidays and leave them at home. Its city breaks etc.

We also take them on holidays. I have zero guilt. They are great for DH to be able to spend decent quality time on our relationship and that ultimately means we have a stronger family unit.

glorioussilence · 09/01/2020 19:52

Being a full time carer to a child with disabilities is different sirzy but in any event, while you might need a break from caring for him, that doesn’t have to be a holiday.

weegiemum · 09/01/2020 19:52

We regularly went away on holiday for a few days when dc were that age. They stayed with grandparents either going on "holiday" themselves or mil used to look after them at ours. This included going abroad - on one memorable occasion, my parents offered to look after the children for a week while we got organised in our new house. We did all the organising in one very long day and then went to Paris for 3 nights! Dc were 2, 4 and 6.

Now leaving them is at the other end of childhood, and we're just glad we come back to no wild parties Es having been held (dc still at home are 16 and 18). Between Christmas and New Year it was our silver wedding and we went abroad leaving the kids alone for the first time. The house is still standing!

Wallywobbles · 09/01/2020 19:54

Yes. In a flash.

BikeRunSki · 09/01/2020 19:54

I’d love to, but we have no one to look
after them.

snappycamper · 09/01/2020 19:55

We wouldn't go away without them. The only time we do is when I have to go somewhere and they can't come, like a wedding they aren't invited to. I do, however, travel fairly regularly for work so I get some time alone then. DH also stays away regularly working. I honestly think I'd hate a holiday without my kids.

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