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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday without your kids?

193 replies

Popc0rn · 09/01/2020 19:10

Just wondering what other people's thought are on this, would you go on holiday and choose not to take your young (aged less than 10) children with you? Children would be looked after by someone they are very close to.

YABU = No, I wouldn't go on holiday without my children.

YANBU = Yes, I would go on holiday without my children.

OP posts:
bigdecsions · 09/01/2020 20:18

Mine are 13,11,5,2 and I've never left them even for a night. But now I'm seriously considering going away for a few days bevy year though when the youngest is a bit older with the dh. Dh is always up for it but I feel
So guilty. But with 4 dc I'm son up for it .

JadH08 · 09/01/2020 20:19

When I was a kid my parents went away for 1 week every year without me and my brother. We loved staying with our grandparents for that week.

I have a 3 month old baby boy and me and husband have booked a 5 night holiday on our own in June. This will be his first time away from us for any longer than one night but I know he'll have fun with his grandparents and we'll enjoy some time to ourselves. If all goes well we plan to do this once a year.

We took baby abroad at 9 weeks old. We will holiday with him every year too so he's not missing out... and he's getting quality time with his grandparents! Win win

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/01/2020 20:21

Absolutely, I’m not just a mum, I’m also a wife and a friend, so we regularly go on holiday and a couple of as part of a group (either together or alone)

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 09/01/2020 20:26

*as a couple or as part of a group Hmm

NerrSnerr · 09/01/2020 20:27

I would if I had the money, enough annual leave (as my husband and I use all of ours to cover school holidays) and childcare that is willing and able. We don't have any of the above so will never happen.

I'm guessing that if people have parents who are willing to look after grandchildren for a whole week (or longer) they also do childcare in the holidays which solves the annual leave problem.

Mirandaqueenbee · 09/01/2020 20:27

Not at there ages no

3 and 10 months and 1 if I trusted someone in the future maybe

CurlsandCurves · 09/01/2020 20:28

We’ve always had the odd night away per year since we became parents. First night away was only a hotel about 20 mins drive away, but it was nice to have dinner together and a full nights sleep!

For our 40th DH booked us a week away child free. My kids were 6 and 10 at the time. Both sets of parents live nearby so no disruption to their lives at all, DH chose a week when they’d be at school as normal. They stayed with my parents and we phoned every day. No issue re the parents doing childcare, my mum was very impressed with DHs secret plan!

That said, at that age a week was enough for me, and I think also for them.

I am however looking forward to doing similar for our 20th wedding anniversary in 3 years time. They’ll be 14 and 18 by then.

SandyY2K · 09/01/2020 20:33

Absolutely. It's a brilliant thing to do.

I first went on a weekend away with DH when DD was a year old.

Ingridla · 09/01/2020 20:33

I had a 4 day Mediterranean break last year whilst my 3yr old DS spent it with in a UK holdout park with his DF. I came back refreshed as a daisy and it was the perfect length of time so i didn't miss my darling boy too much (he lives with me f/t) but was able to de stress. Highly recommend and I'll def do it again this year.

Mamabear144 · 09/01/2020 20:34

Ds is nearly 2 and I have only ever stayed a 5 minute walk away from him once and felt guilty so was back with him by 8am, I could be classed as weird though.

RUSU92 · 09/01/2020 20:35

Yes. Divorced parent here, I go away with my DP on lovely holidays just the two of us. DCs go on holiday with their dad sometimes, or just stay with him while I'm away, so I know they're happy and well cared for. I have taken them away on my own and we've been away with DP too, so we cover all bases!

I remember my mum going away with my aunt once for a week in Spain. Parents definitely went away without us when we were teens, but I think only the odd night/weekend when we were little.

Parents need time to reconnect without the DCs around. My XH always said of holidays with kids "same shit, different location" which sums it up really! However, I thought it was worth the upheaval for the change of scenery. But given the option now, I jump at the chance of an adult only holiday.

RUSU92 · 09/01/2020 20:36

@Mamabear144 that's adorable! Grin

Marshymallowy · 09/01/2020 20:37

I would as long as the kids were 4+ and with someone they knew well. I don't think I would go for more than a few days and I'd make it during term time, partly cos I'd miss them and partly cos it'd be too big an ask of whoever was babysitting to do it differently.

Sparkle567 · 09/01/2020 20:38

I’d never leave mine and go on a holiday.

And I think it’s shitty to leave your kids behind.

Fairycake2 · 09/01/2020 20:38

I've been on holiday a few times without my DD. She stays with Nanny and has a great time

okiedokieme · 09/01/2020 20:38

Depends on why, we went to weddings overseas in term time and left the kids with my mum a couple of times, but never an ordinary holiday

WhenDoesTheWashingEnd · 09/01/2020 20:40

Yep!
Have gone on holidays with the kids and long weekends just me and DH.
Both great holidays for their own different reasons.

So long as you're happy and the kids enjoy being with whoever is looking after them it works for everyone.

SoulStarS · 09/01/2020 20:42

Depends. Fucking off to Disneyland without them is probably unreasonable. But a city break away to do adult things and sleep is something I often dream of.

Ericveis · 09/01/2020 20:42

Yes definitely. As said up thread .. equally important to nurture your relationship.. which also benefit DC

notacooldad · 09/01/2020 20:43

Yeah, although mine are grown up now i went away on a regular basis by myself since they were 3. They had 5 weeks holiday abroad with either just me or with me and their dad. The remaining 3 weeks I'd wither go y myself or with friends.
Although they are adults they still sometimes still come with me.

Lipperfromchipper · 09/01/2020 20:43

@Sparkle567 to be fair no one is leaving them to fend for themselves with microwave meals etc!! most dc love staying their go’s and getting spoilt!! I know mine do! And I used to spend time with my cousins having an absolute ball when my parents went on holidays. I really don’t see the big deal

Lipperfromchipper · 09/01/2020 20:44

Gp’s not go’s

Fishfingersandwichplease · 09/01/2020 20:46

Yep - husband and l are lucky enough to have a close relative who comes to stay with DD once a year for a week so we go somewhere we know she wouldn't like. Does everyone the world of good!

Sparkle567 · 09/01/2020 20:46

@Lipperfromchipper - good for you? I think it’s wrong and shitty to go off on holidays and leave the dc behind. Plenty of time for that when they grow up

SassenachWitch · 09/01/2020 20:47

Since my kids have been 8 & 11 I’ve been going on holiday without them.

We take the kids for 2 weeks in the summer and October half term is when DP and I go alone for a week. The girls are with their dad and perfectly happy/fine.