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AIBU?

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Original poster

My friend shoplifts. Wwyd?

173 replies

recklessruby · 09/01/2020 10:57

My friend is 40 and works part time at our local school. I also work there and we need to have clean criminal records (DBS check every few years).
Recently she has been coming into work with small things like cakes and chocolates which she happily says she stole from a local supermarket. She brags about how easy it is to do. It s like it makes her so happy to get this stuff for free even though her salary is not bad and she has savings. She admits she can afford it.
I m getting really worried that her luck is going to run out and she will be caught but she wont listen and says she knows where all the cameras are!
I m not going to report her or anything, she s a good friend but wwyd ?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/01/2020 10:59

Bloody hell how weird. This isn't normal.

LissJas · 09/01/2020 10:59

Stop partaking in the fruits of her crime and speak to the shop about tightening up their security.

redbullgivesyouflings · 09/01/2020 11:00

She's a kleptomaniac. Personally I'd ignore her whenever she talks about her 'loot' and not give her the attention she's so clearly looking for.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 09/01/2020 11:01

She needs professional help. If she can afford the items, she’s doing it to get some kind of thrill/rush from the idea of being caught - and one day she will be.

milliefiori · 09/01/2020 11:03

Never go shopping with her.
Never accept any of her loot.
Never leave your stuff unattended around her.
Jokily ask her if there's any other dodgy acts she's proud of you should know about.
Seriously ask her if she wants help to stop doing this.

Monty27 · 09/01/2020 11:03

Yes. Just refuse to participate in her ill gotten gains. Otherwise if and when she's caught out it may not be pretty for you either. Shock

BottleOfJameson · 09/01/2020 11:03

She definitely needs professional help. It's very odd to bother stealing (I'm presuming she could afford to buy the items and they're not things she needs anyway) and to be bragging about it openly is stranger still. She will eventually get caught and may well start escalating her stealing.

Chocolatemouse84 · 09/01/2020 11:04

Sounds like she has kleptomania and needs professional help. If you can't convince her to speak to a doctor then there isn't a lot you can do there than remind her that she will get caught one day, which will have serious consequences for her. She could potentially loose her job at a school if she gets a criminal record.

CakeandCustard28 · 09/01/2020 11:10

I’d be keeping a very close on her, and wouldn’t leave anything of yours around her. Don’t go shopping with her either. She’s an idiot and she will eventually get caught chances are the shops are aware of her but haven’t done anything yet.

aNonnyMouse1511 · 09/01/2020 11:11

Don’t ever go shopping with her!

Sounds like she gets a buzz from it.

WeeSleekitTimerousMoosey · 09/01/2020 11:13

Agree with those saying never go shopping with her.

My parents drummed this into me as a child. You could be dragged into her criminality.

Keepmewarm · 09/01/2020 11:14

She’s either a thief or a liar. I wouldn’t want to be friends with either.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 09/01/2020 11:14

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FreedomfromPE · 09/01/2020 11:16

I once dated a woman her and her sister would both prlifically steal. They loved the challenge. Particularly managing to steal beads from a tray whilst chatting to the owner of the small shop, one story I remember them going into incredible detail about. It really bothered me that they would egg each other on but also their complete ignorance that it might impact on livelihoods as they definitely would prefer the small independent shop to a large chain.

DadInDisguise · 09/01/2020 11:19

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IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/01/2020 11:20

I would gradually withdraw..... It sounds as if she needs help.... Of she is a good pal... Say you think she needs to see her GP.

Don't EVER go into a shop with her.

ohprettybaby · 09/01/2020 11:21
  1. I'd never leave my handbag or phone unattended.
  2. I'd never go shopping with her.
  3. I wouldn't eat any of the stolen goodies and tell her why not.
  4. I'd tell her that I don't agree with her behaviour and that she's risking her livelihood if found out.
5.I'd try and persuade her not to do it again.
  1. I'd tell her that I no longer trust her as a result of knowing of her criminal behaviour.
  2. If she doesn't stop doing it I'd have to give up being friends with her.
Hepsibar · 09/01/2020 11:23

Red flags here.

Shoplifters, esp ones who could afford to pay, generally have some sort of psychological issues and basically we all pay more to cover the cost of their pilfering. I hope her luck does run out and she is caught and soon. How nice she does this to the small shop owner with their extremely high business rates and low profit margins ... no wonder they are all going out of business.

And I wonder what she takes from the school ... pens, stationery, other people's milk, books, cash, stamps, funds raised thru events, items donated.

Do not go shopping with her and personally I could not have her as a friend knowing this.

PS: I know of one small shopkeeper who cottoned on to a person who would steal sweets, perfectly well off and what they did was cellotape all the sweets together and when next time she did it ... they all concertina'd and made a noise and everyone saw ... she turned and walked out, saying nothing. Maybe you should let the shop know.

MyDressHasPockets · 09/01/2020 11:27

I would make sure she knows that lemon drizzle cake is my favourite.

AlwaysThinkingOfNames · 09/01/2020 11:28

I'd would back away from the friendship to be honest.
I would not be friends with a thief.

IfThingsComeInThreesWhyThisNow · 09/01/2020 11:35

I am clearly going to Hell as dad and my dress's responses have made me smile. Cake < if the cake is nicked, is it Stollen? --Niche joke for Germans there Grin

redbullgivesyouflings · 09/01/2020 11:35

and wouldn’t leave anything of yours around her

Oh definitely this. Reminds me a little of a classmate of mine back in school. She always stole the small, inconsequential things too — protractors, pens, MY CADBURY TOP DECK CHOCOLATE BAR Angry. It's not a case of her not being able to afford anything too because when she was eventually caught, there were piles of this stuff stashed away in a corner of her locker unused and uneaten while she used her own!

Dustarr73 · 09/01/2020 11:36

People like her are known to the shops,they just havent caught her yet.But she will get caught.

Dont go shopping with her
Dont leave anything unattended near her.
Dont eat anything off her.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2020 11:37

I'm getting really worried that her luck is going to run out and she will be caught

So let her. She's a thief. If she has MH issues, these will come out and she will get help. If she's just a tea-leaf, she'll be punish accordingly.

Her choice entirely.

And keep your handbag close.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2020 11:37

*punished