My friend shoplifts. Wwyd?

[recklessruby]

My friend is 40 and works part time at our local school. I also work there and we need to have clean criminal records (DBS check every few years).
Recently she has been coming into work with small things like cakes and chocolates which she happily says she stole from a local supermarket. She brags about how easy it is to do. It s like it makes her so happy to get this stuff for free even though her salary is not bad and she has savings. She admits she can afford it.
I m getting really worried that her luck is going to run out and she will be caught but she wont listen and says she knows where all the cameras are!
I m not going to report her or anything, she s a good friend but wwyd ?

says she knows where all the cameras are!

They will have noticed and will be watching. They will be making recordings over multiple visits so when they decide to stop her she can’t claim it was a “one off.....an innocent mistake......an accident”.
The store security I knew used to love giving shoplifters enough rope to hang themselves.

This is such trashy behaviour, I’m surprised that she’s brazenly telling you about this. Cry for help/attention perhaps?

Shes not an idiot as others have said but she does have a problem.
I would say no thanks when she brings her loot in and you could say Im not comfortable that youre stealing it.
I dont think you can fix it for her but you could let her know you would support her if she wanted to get help to try to stop

I used to work in a supermarket, in the bakery section, so was often in the aisles putting out bread and cakes etc. I quite often saw people stealing small loaves and cream cakes etc. We staff were told not to challenge any thieves, but in the managers office up stairs,he had a row of cctv screens, all channelled on all the different aisles, and a security person there, keeping watch at all times.

When a thief was noticed, there were plans put in place. for a couple of staff to quickly go to the supermarket exit doors.and stop the thief.

One of the busiest aisles for nicking stuff, was the alcohol sections.

What if she steals from the school? Or something goes missing at school and you assume it’s her. That would be awkward

Update if anyone's still reading. Well I handled that so well . She now denies stealing anything, says she was just mucking about and how we are all so gullible!
Work on Friday was an absolute joy working with her when she s no longer talking to me and slamming things about.

Oh dear. Sounds like a defence mechanism,. You did the right thing calling her out on it. She may not appreciate it, but you’ve done her a favour. If she was just mucking about, why would she want to risk getting a reputation as a thief? Weird.

She seems like she has issues. Weird.

I don’t understand what the point of “mucking about” was. She lied about stealing for banter, when in reality all that will do is tarnish her reputation and make you permanently be wary of her? It’s not a particularly funny thing to lie about.

Who knows whether she lied about stealing initially or is lying now to backtrack, either way it’s odd

That is really strange behaviour.

I think she has issues and honestly I have tried my best to help and listen but I m not prepared to sit in a cold car for an hour listening to her when I ve given her a lift home.
So pleased I have uncomplicated cheerful young TA guy to help out on Monday!

Totally a defence mechanism, she doesn't like being challenged
she's stroppy is because you called her out and made her look stupid, with no way out for her where she can save face, the only option which allows her to feel powerful and in control is attack back, which also leaves her looking pretty stupid->even more anger
Keep away ...she ain't worth it

You know what, as the friendship seems to be over anyway, I would subtly let on that you phoned the store so they would be just generally more vigilant with all customers (not specifically her). This way if she is stealing, she’ll hopefully think twice next time and not do it.

also a classic 'DARVO' manoeuvre, she quickly spun it around on you so that you're the one who's got it wrong
Did she think that shoplifting is edgy and cool and that you would admire her for being a rebel?
Even that sounds ridiculous there is no explanation for this which isn't completely ridiculous
Is it that she's just not very bright?

subtly let on that you phoned the store
and please update us b/c I think if you said that she would completely lose it... head spin round 180 degrees and she walks backwards down the stairs like a spider

Hmmm. If she was just mucking about, you would expect her to find it funny that you were taken in. Her anger suggests that the shoplifting was genuine and she didn't like being called out on it.

UYscutishe better not! That film scared the shit out of me as a kid!

Sorry Ruby🙏

But she does sound as mad as a hatter, or 'er's mazed as a coot, as they say in Devon 🙂

UYScutithanks for cheering me up. She s obviously not the full quid

I would definitely tell the sop staff, pictures etc. So what if she’s ignoring you? I couldn’t be friends with someone like that. No more lifts!

If she's made up stories previously, perhaps she's making this up for attention? I would think that, if she was really stealing, she'd keep it to herself!

I used to be so very gentle and tactful and pussyfoot around.

Now I'd pretty much shout at her "Stop stealing things, stop telling me about it and grow up and get yourself a proper hobby for the kicks not this pathetic shit."

From her reaction, she's not worth it. I'd keep the relationship strictly professional from now on, but stick to your guns about what you've said. She sounds troubled and unwilling to seek help, there's nothing you can do about that.