Homophobia

[Whatisthisfuckery]

Inspired by the racism thread, although not a taat I don’t think:

Do people think homophobia is still a problem in the UK? I’m genuinely interested in people’s responses.

I very much do as I experience it myself, although by no means everybody is homophobic, in fact not even most people, but a significant number nonetheless. AIBU?

The treatment of lesbians is shocking. Being told to accept penises and being branded phobic if they don't.

Yes, it absolutely does, from the levels of "banter", to explicit bullying in schools, up to violent hate-crimes.

Not long ago, two lesbians were beaten up for refusing to kiss each other for the benefit of ogling men.

Lesbians do seem to come off worst.

Especially butch lesbians. Apparently some trauma must have occurred to make them 'scared' of men .

Gay men are often fetishised by certain women. See 'my gay best friend'.

The trans thing at the moment is fucking stuff up I think.

Yes very much so.

Yes, I agree it is still a problem in the UK and it’s something that has taken me by surprise recently due to the homophobic comments another parent made (so casually like she was talking about the weather) and also finding out the church our school has links with is led by a man who believes marriage for gay people is wrong.

Where I live yes it's still rampant, and not just on the extreme side of things. I'm shocked by the words that come out of people's mouths sometimes, especially from people that say they aren't homophobic. There's still a lot of 'well I don't care what people do behind closed doors just as long as they aren't flaunting it'. People still don't want to see gay couples kissing or holding hands in the street, still don't want their children 'exposed' to same sex relationships etc.

We have come on leaps and bounds but there's still a long way to go!

I agree it's much worse for lesbians than gay man, for some reason.

In some cases (as in very specific things posted by people I know online) it seems that being heterosexual is now more taboo than being homo/bisexual.

There will always be hatred in the world as long as people are in it unfortunately.

@Flacker I don't want to see anyone kissing in the street. It's unnecessary.

The treatment of lesbians is shocking. Being told to accept penises and being branded phobic if they don't.
I must have missed something. Does the 2nd sentence refer to a particular incident? I have no idea what is being referred to here.

Yes it is still rife.

We've stopped going to our local quiz night since one of the teams changed their name to ''X footballer' is a poof!' which was shouted in hilarious style between each round as the landlord read out the scores. The whole pub fell about. Such casual homophobia.
My brother and his husband can't hold hands in their own city without facing abuse (in the South and considered liberal).
Lesbian (senior) colleague referred to as a bull dyke by tech staff, only last week behind her back.
Once you start looking it's everywhere. I'd be feeling under constant attack if I were gay. It must be shit.

GiveHerHellFromUs

Don't be ridiculous. If someone from America tells someone from Shropshire that they don't know what it's like to live in America, are they being Shropsist?

If a wheelchair user tells a physically able person that they don't understand how limited wheelchair access is because they've not had to get around in a wheelchair, are they being ablist?

Sometimes, this is stuff is just true. There are, and have always been, people who think they don't need to listen to the people who actually have life experience of an issue. That's where the proverb "walk a mile in a man's shoes before you judge him" comes from.

@JamieVardysHavingAParty have you ever heard of the word empathy?

I think it's that substance I have zero of when people post bollocks.

Yes unfortunatly it is still a huge problem. New same sex couple started their DC at our school this year, I heard a conversation going on between some (up their own arse) parents about how they need to be careful now because they might fancy them. I was utterly amazed, and let them know them that they are gay not rapists ffs and in any case 'ignorant' is probably not their type

When you look for it, it's everywhere.

When DS1 was 8 or 9 there was a spate of using "gay" as a slur in his school. DH felt it was normal, and not homophobic, I sat DS1 down and made sure he knew it wasn't something we used or tolerated in our family, and why. I was amazed at the number of children that age who'd use it in conversation. .

My younger sister got married a few years back to her female partner - her parents refused to attend as they believed same-sex marriage was wrong, and the number of people attending the wedding calling it "a gay wedding" and "my first gay wedding" was astounding. It's a wedding. The need to still label gay people as gay rather than just people is proof that we might be better at hiding it, but homophobia is still rampant.

Ohprettybaby It refers to the redefinition of homosexuality to mean people attracted to people of the same ‘gender,’ by Stonewall no less. It means there are some people who are bisexual, or even heterosexual who now identify themselves as gay or lesbian. Males can now be lesbians and females can now be gay men according to Stonewall. I have been called names and accused of hate speech because I state that ‘a lesbian is a female homosexual.’

I am homosexual, not attracted to gender whatever that means nowadays. People can identify as whatever gender they damn well like, but if they are male I’ll never be attracted to them, because I am a lesbian, a homosexual female.

One of the members of staff at my sons school was a lesbian, a parent of one of the children that I knew used to speak about this woman awfully it was disgusting the derogatory laungage she used when talking about this lady I was disgusted after that I diddnt really talk to this lady unless I had to, but then she was racist too, probably hates everyone to be honest.

Yes, you only have to look at some of the nasty things said and written to Rev Richard Coles when his husband died. And I agree, Lesbians are being attacked from a range of angles at the moment, some of this is sexism rather than homophobia but much of it is both.

I think that generally people who are older i.e. over 60 can be homophobic and racist depending on where they come from.

Younger people don't seem to be as homophobic or racist although those people on the bus who assaulted the 2 ladies were a group of young lads so what does that tell us?

I also find that people who say they are not homophobic or racist are usually the worst! My mum says this but still uses unpleasant words which I tell her are not acceptable.

Yes I think it is a problem, and I think it is massively exacerbated by the trans thing as another pp said.
I have no issue at all with gay, lesbian, asexual, whatever, absolutely none. I don't entirely understand it as I'm heterosexual and always have been, but that is ok - as far as I'm concerned if two people fall in love, that is that.

Where trans is concerned, I have even less understanding, and i am willing to be educated, however I was categorically told that because I am not trans and I am not a specialist in the area then any opinion I have on the subject is automatically invalid.

This made me feel that it's a clique almost, and I'm not part of it so I shouldn't talk about it. It's all very frustrating as I'm aware that some members of an extended friendship group have branded me transphobic because of my attitude when nothing could be further than the truth.

Yes, you only have to look at some of the nasty things said and written to Rev Richard Coles when his husband died

Agreed. Utterly appalling.

See also the Anderton Park School protests, which I know some people here had concerns about gender issues involved, but these were not really about that. I saw one protestor interviewed in C4 basically saying don’t teach my kid it’s ok to be gay because it isn’t

Thanks OP for explaining the whole men can be lesbians now debacle!