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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Homophobia

219 replies

Whatisthisfuckery · 09/01/2020 08:55

Inspired by the racism thread, although not a taat I don’t think:

Do people think homophobia is still a problem in the UK? I’m genuinely interested in people’s responses.

I very much do as I experience it myself, although by no means everybody is homophobic, in fact not even most people, but a significant number nonetheless. AIBU?

OP posts:
MyCatIsATiger · 10/01/2020 11:28

It definitely is. I’m bisexual and have experienced homophobia on multiple occasions. Transphobia is also absolutely rampant.

GrolliffetheDragon · 10/01/2020 11:57

Transphobia is also absolutely rampant.

Some of the more vocal Trans Rights types do pretty much encourage some of the kinds of behaviour they denounce as transphobic though. And while there are a lot of unpleasant comments made by trans people and gender critical people, the threats of violence seem to be 99% from transwomen. It's a complicated situation that is probably impossible to resolve in a way that doesn't effect somebody negatively.

Thatagain · 10/01/2020 12:36

You misinterpreted what I was saying! At school I said teachers was descusted about homosexuality. Back between 1990-1999 maybe it was just my scool I don't know I have heard of outher people saying that they wasn't taught about homosexuality as well. I do not understand homosexuality I don't think I've got the time eather. Life's too short.

Thatagain · 10/01/2020 13:07

Homophobic = phobic = fear
Now if anyone was really that homophobic their would not be any violence towards a homosexual's due to fear. Fear and phobias are similar I can't go near a spider or go on airplanes due to my fears (phobias ) I am takeing my time here to try and understand about homosexuality. My son gf mum is in a same sex marrage. She hates me as I am a Christian and I do not have an opinion as I have little knowlage on the subject. My sons gf wasn't allowed to his home when they were teenager's and that bothered me back then. Now I just turn the outher cheek and I am trying to see where I've gone wrong.
Are homosexuals Christian phobic?

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 10/01/2020 13:13

Thatagain is your point that the word is wrong or the behaviour from the dictionary definition of homophobia does not happen? I don't understand what point your trying to make.

BeatriceTheBeast · 10/01/2020 13:18

Males can now be lesbians and females can now be gay men according to Stonewall

Yes, my best friend is a gay man and he very often comes across trans men on the dating apps he uses.

But they obviously don't have to and don't usually say they are trans. He can just tell from the way they look. He...well...he likes penises. He doesn't want to date a trans man. He wants to date a natal man, but, like so much on this subject now, if he said that publicly, he'd probably be told he is transphobic..?

pointythings · 10/01/2020 13:22

thatagain you don't have to understand homosexuality. You just need to accept that there is a dictionary definition of the word 'homophobia ', accept that as everything in this world changes and evolves, so does language, and you and everyone else need to be decent human beings. It really isn't hard.

asnugglysnerd · 10/01/2020 13:26

Absolutley.

I am a lesbian, and I do encounted very casual comments which when I think about it, are homophobic, despite being told "Oh I have nothing against gay and lesbian people"... That in itself riles me up, because when I meet a straight person, I don't make it my aim to say "Oh I know a straight person too, I have nothing against someone who is straight"...

I do think lesbians have it worse... for example, the dancing on ice routine the 2 blokes did was amazing, but I wonder if it was 2 women, would the reaction have been the same... very possibly if it was 2 very pretty, feminine women, but otherwise...? I doubt it.

Ocarinan · 10/01/2020 13:29

@Thatagain

Are hydrophobic particles scared of water?

GrolliffetheDragon · 10/01/2020 13:45

Now if anyone was really that homophobic their would not be any violence towards a homosexual's due to fear.

Fear makes some people violent, is that so hard to believe? Some people are scared of spiders and kill them rather than run away.

Thatagain · 10/01/2020 13:47

No still don't get it! There are words added to the dictionaries on a yearly basis when was homophobia and or homophobic introduced to the dictionary? As for a decent human being I do not confuse people! I try and understand all things and hold on to what is whole pure and true.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 10/01/2020 13:52

@Thatagain you're clearly homophobic.

If your sons gf's mom doesn't like you it's not because you 'don't have an opinion'. If you didn't have an opinion you wouldn't have an issue.

There are many gay Christians. Being a Christian doesn't make you pure and true.

Ocarinan · 10/01/2020 13:53

So what does sound you suggest be used for people who are against homosexuality?

Thatagain · 10/01/2020 14:01

I am a bit amused at your post. I do not belive in homophobia or homophobic as words to describe a human. As for my DS gf mum she is extremely jelious as my dcs are more confident and cleaver and have the best wages then her dcs. She also don't like the fact that I am a Christian as I can't talk about jesus to her! She talks about her and that is all there is about her. To say I am NOT HOMOPHOBIC is a bit childish as it's a man made word to put people who don't want to know about homosexuality. As PP has stated.

GrolliffetheDragon · 10/01/2020 14:03

So what does sound you suggest be used for people who are against homosexuality?

I just read an article suggesting gaycism. I imagine Thatagain will instantly hate it for being a recently made up word!

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 10/01/2020 14:14

Here's a bollocks word then - transphobic. Clearly made up.

I also think banana is a crap word and who the heck thought up tractor. Bloody idiots.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 10/01/2020 14:21

You're clearly a preachy homophobe and all round nasty person based on your last post @Thatagain.

Choosing not to believe a word is real doesn't mean it's not real.

Generally someone who says "homophobia/racism/transphobia isn't real" tends to be homophobic/racist/transphobic and doesn't like being called out on it.

Copperleaves · 10/01/2020 14:22

Are homosexuals Christian phobic?
So where would we put all the gay Christians then, including ministers/vicars/priests?

pointythings · 10/01/2020 14:24

I am so confused. Can I have an example of a word that isn't 'made up' then?

By the way, the word 'homophobia ' was first used in publication in 1969. It's been around a while.

Ocarinan · 10/01/2020 14:25

It's probably been pointed out before and will be falling on deaf ears, but all words are made up.

Thatagain · 10/01/2020 14:35

I have been called homophobic before and I do not understand the meaning. If you personally think I am nasty that is ok (you do not know me). As for priest, vicors ect. The bible teaches you to love the sinner. Not the sin! They also know it's not the way to go forth and multiply. So with just a fraction of knowledge so they are not living accordingly. If their is anyone that can read my PP and help me without calling me bullshit words that would be appreciated.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 10/01/2020 14:59

I told you already. Homophobic means prejudiced against gay people.

Copperleaves · 10/01/2020 16:11

Thatagain you (and presumably your church) are choosing to call it a sin. I and many other Christians would disagree with you.

RightEarlobeBreath · 10/01/2020 16:22

Calling it a sin is homophobic. And you know exactly what the word means however much you bleat on about not understanding.

youkiddingme · 10/01/2020 16:31

I think the instruction go forth and multiply might have been seen as good advice to Christians when people were a very useful and short-lived commodity, needed to plough the fields, build the roof to put over people's heads, do the cooking etc etc. When women were regularly dying in child-birth and children in infancy and men in warfare (and yes I know those things are still happening in the world, excuse the crude generalisations) then anyone homeosexual could have been considered to be 'letting the side down' which was an understandable though not justifable reason why it might have been considered unacceptable. With a drastically over-populated planet, and more people than we can properly feed, I'm not sure telling people to go out and multiply is very relevant. Nor do I expect it is the reason for homophobia.
Did Jesus consider homosexuality sinful? People with more understanding of the bible have debated this, and there does not seem to be a clear consensus.
Religious writings are generally considered to be a guide to morality, but a morality which reflected the lives and concerns of people at the time they were written.
According the the bible, 'it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven'. Yet by bibilical standards the majority of people in this country would be considered rich. Though the number of poor and homeless people are rising - but that's another debate...