Homophobia

[Whatisthisfuckery]

Inspired by the racism thread, although not a taat I don’t think:

Do people think homophobia is still a problem in the UK? I’m genuinely interested in people’s responses.

I very much do as I experience it myself, although by no means everybody is homophobic, in fact not even most people, but a significant number nonetheless. AIBU?

Thatagain is being disingenuous. Clumsily so, but still. . .

I'm sure she's smart enough to understand the common understanding of the words 'gay', 'homosexual', and 'homophobic',
in modern usage even if she seeks to reject them. (Incidentally, I went to school in the '70's and '80's, and the use of the word 'gay' to mean homosexual (and not in a good way) was very well understood, bandied about, and tittered about by primary aged kids. Admittedly not in the UK, but I'm sure UK kids were at least as 'savvy' as we were!)

Me and mine have been a bit taken aback by the casual homophobia over here, particularly in the school. To be fair, when it got sufficiently aggressive and overt for us to say something to the school, the school did make it abundantly clear to the students that it was not acceptable, and would not be tolerated. But you know. Kids. . . and of course their homophobic parents who fill their heads with that nonsense, for whatever reason.

The amount of violent incidents against people that seems to relate directly to them being homosexual is surprising and upsetting too.

Pride parade was awesome. So many people, and their supporters. And of course, someone rabidly banging on via a loudspeaker, about how they're all going to hell. There's always gonna be one, right?

Homophobic = phobic = fear

FFS @Thatagain we had this very same conversation earlier on in this thread. I will quote my post again for your sake though — god knows you need all the help you can get:

The word homophobia was coined by a psychotherapist in the 60s because of his observation that people, his colleagues specifically, were in general uncomfortable amongst gays and lesbians. The meaning of the word has since evolved — as is the case with most words over time — to encompass any sense of fear, discrimination, hate etc against people attracted to those of the same sex.

And no fret, I know what you'll say next:

Word should not be minipulated to suit people's desires.

In which case, I'll reply:

What are you on about?? Words evolve through time. Also, words tend to have multiple meanings. For example: Let's park our car by the park.

And of course, there's that pedantic side of you coming out again:

No means no! 1 word 1 meaning. Park is a name for a place so it's quite different. A genuine word has one meaning. As in the beginning there was word yes we have desrespectied word over time we use it to fit our wants and desires.

But wait! A very sensible poster @GiveHerHellFromUs took the time to reply:

What about book? You can read a book or book a table. Standard word with two meanings.

Blah blah blah random nonsense and then we're back to square one:

Homophobic = phobic = fear

10/10 debate skills.

Homophobia in its early contexts was a word used for when men fear that others may think they're gay.

How can I communicate to a homosexual without being called homophobic? As I have mentioned I am a Christian and would always put jesus first. It's a issue I've had for a while. I feel I can't talk about children my house or anything that has any meaning. I feel like christians are being tarnished

They're normal people who happen to like other people of the same sex. They're not some magical centaur or some creature from fairytales you know! Why do you have to speak to them differently than you would to anyone else?

How can I communicate to a homosexual without being called homophobic?

Through speech, primarily.

By saying, hi, how was your day, how 'bout them dodgers? Tell them about the extension your doing on your house, listen to them when they tell you about theirs. Tell them about the funny thing your kid did on the weekend, listen when they tell you about their kid's first swimming lesson.

How do you communicate with a heterosexual? Same way.

Their sexuality, surely, if it is a sin, (I don't think it is, you think it is, we can agree to disagree) is between them and their God. If they have one. It's actually not your place to judge. I believe some important dude in the Bible was fairly clear on that, a number of times.

You can be a Christian and put Jesus first, without expecting, or requiring others to share your beliefs. If you're unable to do that - there's your problem. Most probably why DS's GF's mother finds you a bit hard to take, if so.

I assume you mean, how can I communicate that they are sinners? They already know what you think. Why not communicate with them in a friendly, loving way - you know, like Jesus would do.

Oh dear, this again. I’m not so sure Thatagainn rejects the idea of homophobia because it’s a made up word, or because she doesn’t know how to have a conversation with a homosexual person, I think Thatagain is just throwing up smoke and mirrors because Thatagain knows that Thatagain is exactly the sort of person we’d all think of when we think of the word homophobic.

Thatagain I have plenty of gay and lesbian christian friends, all of whom seem to get on with their god perfectly well at the same time as being same sex attracted. They also manage it quite well without ‘shoving it down other peoples’ throats,’ that famous refrain of homophobes everywhere. Just to be clear, by that I mean I know they’re christians and that they take their faith very seriously, they speak about their faith and activities they do within their congregations and that is perfectly fine, they do not however endlessly try to convert, castigate everyone who doesn’t believe or insist we’re sinners.

Thatagain you have done the latter two of those things in this thread, so I suggest it’s you who is shoving your religion down our throats.

I can assure you that gay and lesbian people who aren’t christian don’t want to hear about your god any more than you want to know about what goes on in their bedrooms‘, but I’m guessing not a single gay or lesbian person has tried to engage you in conversation about that.

Oh, and if you’re going to bang on about the sacred purity of language, at least try to use the correct spelling and grammar, otherwise, well, you look a bit of a knob.

Oh, and if you’re going to bang on about the sacred purity of language, at least try to use the correct spelling and grammar, otherwise, well, you look a bit of a knob.

[schnortles]. . . which is indeed a made up word!

@Whatisthisfuckery 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Whatisthisfuckery Preach! (As it were).

I also love the world 'Schnortles', which perfectly encompasses the combined snort of scorn and chortle of amusement at thatagain's verbal antics.

What on Earth is @Thatagain on about. Don’t know how to speak to a homosexual person? Wtf?!

If it helps you can speak to me however you like, I don’t bite unless asked nicely....

[schnortles]. . . which is indeed a made up word!
I'm going to add that to my vocabulary. Thank you!
Some words are just so right.

How old does a word have to be to be a real word anyway?

There are words added to the dictionaries on a yearly basis when was homophobia and or homophobic introduced to the dictionary?
@Thatagain

The word has been around since about the 60s iirc, although the concept is obviously older than that.

Why is okay to be homophobic as long as you're religious? The Bible says people shouldn't marry outside of their tribe, yet if someone said "I'm a Christian, so I'm against interracial marriage" people would go berserk.

Yes it's a big problem, especially lesbophobia. There seems to be an awful lot of men who can't handle the fact they're neither needed nor wanted and that women never have to be with men if they are not attracted to them/don't want to be.

The rainbow lanyards that many workplaces make employees wear are utterly ridiculous too. You could someone who is a raging homophobe forced to wear one and gay people thinking they're a ''nice person'' because of the lanyard.

@Thatagain, you follow a religion that teaches that if a rape victim doesn't scream for help, she must have been enjoying it and should be executed. It's ridiculous for you to claim that you want to hold on to what's "pure and true".

If at all possible I like to avoid people who think you somehow have to communicate differently with homosexuals, as if we are apes or monkeys or similar. I think being homosexual is one of the least interesting things about me. I probably won’t mention any of my sexual proclivities to the average stranger on first introduction. Probably 😂.

I've found it more manifest in comments than anything else - the obvious "which is the girl" and "but you don't look like lesbians" (this is on a fancy night out - see us on a day to day basis mate and you might change your mind! 😂) and my personal favourite "I like you, you're not like the usual man-hating lesbians".

I'm generally less bothered by the first though, given a lot of people are very nosy about sex they have no understanding of themselves

Worst for me though is the amount of female friends who have slowly drifted away without comment :(

Just TALK to them, @Thatagain. What do you think they're going to do, bite you and make you gay? Sure you're not thinking of vampires?

Also, I have straight Christian friends who manage to talk to me like I'm a normal human being and not bring up my sexuality so if they can, so can you.

What do you think they're going to do, bite you and make you gay?

I'm going to tell DD2 that one. She's quite into vampires and would quite like to go around biting people and making them gay....

I'm pretty sure I remember that episode of Buffy.