How many funerals have you been to

[grimreaper1]

First off, I'm aware this is morbid and I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm currently studying grief and loss and becoming aware of how much bereavement I have experienced.

I'm 35 years old and I've lost 6 family members, a close friend, a teenage neighbour, accompanied two close relations to funerals of people I also knew and have had a pregnancy loss. So 10 funerals and a miscarriage.

I was just wondering if others had experienced the same or less or more? I don't know if it's changed my experience of death.

AIBU in thinking it's a lot for someone my age?

I'm 23 and I've been to 3.
My partners last year and 2 grandparents when I was early teens.

Almost 33 and seven funerals. All four grandparents, FIL, ex husband's uncle and a friend.

I'm 52, Irish and honestly have no idea. I can't believe the number of people on here who are a similar age to me and are giving out single digits. I know it is different strokes etc but we are only just across the water. It is quite amazing how different we are in some ways.

aged 45, 10 funerals.
But I'm Irish living in England, my sister age 40 has been to around 40-50. It's very common at home to go to the funerals of your friends and co-workers family too. Workplaces are generally happy to let staff out for an afternoon or morning. There were probably 250 people at my mother's funeral - my best friends brothers and sisters came, my BIL's brothers and sisters came, friends of my aunts and uncles came, you get the picture...they had all known my mum though.
I was very touched and comforted by the show of support and love for her, it made it easier.

7 in 2019.
A terrible year.
The youngest was 16 and the eldest 80.
I'm not over the shock of a couple of them to be honest.

actually, I've been to 17 funerals, 16 irish, 1 English!

Dozens and dozens of funerals....but I'm many years older than you. Not only grandparents, parents, relatives and a still born child, but also friends and neighbours, especially when I used to live in a rural area where it was common for the whole village to turn out to every funeral (yes, including the local GP to those previous posters who are surprised).

I'm not sure the amount of funerals makes you feel morbid or not, I think it's your attitude to death. A healthy attitude regarding death as a normal part of life - very sad, but it will happen to all of us at some point - is quite helpful. Sometimes village life, where everyone turns out, is good because it's not only supportive but you're also prepared for when it happens to your own family in a better way (by being used to the funeral and everything that goes on around death).

There were times when I used to think people were more "real" at a funeral. Weddings and baptisms everyone was making small talk, getting drunk, worrying about what to wear....but at funerals people were upset, but 'themselves'. No pretence, their emotions were real and the amount of support for others was clear. So I'd opt for a funeral any time......

Few years older than OP, I've been to 4 family funerals over my life. But also dozens of village/church ones, and more than I can count of care clients (at least 10 a year on average).

I'd guess profession and membership of community groups plays a big part in it, siblings who moved away and work in different professions probably attend less than 1 a year averaged out.

Im 32, I've been to 7 funerals. 5 were family, 2 friends.

I live in the Southern US (cultural expectations about attending even if, in some cases, you haven't met the deceased) and I am pretty old by MN standards so too many to count. The first one was when I was 8 for my sister; the last one was recently for my mother. I'm guessing lifetime probably close to 50.

I am 51 and I have been to 7. 3 were ones I arranged - mum, dad, estranged husband.

Age 59. Attended well over 100 funerals including 15 family. In one year 2012 I attended 13 funerals including 3 family members. Can't believe how few funerals some people have attended!

I'm 41 and have only been to three - my great-uncle's when I was about 9 (I vaguely remember that the church was packed and that people had to go to Tesco to get more food), and then those of my maternal grandparents, who died 6 weeks apart when I was 23/24. I was only two when my paternal grandfather died. My paternal grandmother died when I was 18 but I wasn't able to go to her funeral (five hours' flight away and very little notice - my dad went).

Many, but it's an occupational hazard, I organise them . Not as morbid as it sounds, I prefer them to the weddings which is also part of my remit

I work colleagues mother died, and was having a service close to our offices. I suggested that we go to pay our respects - you'd have thought I'd said we should eat the body or something! People were horrified, didn't want to intrude, thought it was weird, what would they say to her etc.etc. even though the details of the funeral were public.
As an Irish person I found this bizarre. Anyway, me and two others went, sat in the back row, paid our respects, left soon after the service and a week later colleague is back and comes up to us in the office and thanks us, and said she was touched that we'd been thinking of her and her family.

So I knew we hadn't made some cultural faux pas after all...

I'm 55 and have been to eight. I'm expecting w have to go to my in-laws soon. For context both nearly 90 and MiL is very frail and has dementia. FiL had heart failure and had an opportunity about 5 years ago but he is increasingly breathless again. I'm lucky that apart from my mum and MiL they were all elderly.

About 20 I would say. I'm 42.

3 Grandparents, my step father, three best friends, an aunt, and various grand aunts and uncles. Around 12 funerals, and 10 or so more deaths of people I was close with but was unable to attend.

I'm a few years younger than you. I've always felt a bit unlucky when it comes to losing people and my numbers do seem a bit higher than average having a skim through other replies.

I'm 38 and been to 3.

Gran, cousin and a close friend. All funerals were within 6 months when I was 32.

Plus my dogs funeral making it 4

I’m 40
4:
Both grandmothers (grandfathers both died before I was born)
A cousin who was 23 (I was 13 I think?)
A friend’s still born baby (when my dc2 was only a few weeks old)

I'm 42 and I've been to 13.

Teacher
Friend's parents x 5
Friend at university
Grandparents x 2
Grandparents-in-law x 2
Uncle
Family Friend

I've missed another 5 family funerals (Great Aunts, Aunt, Uncle and Grandparent) due to being out of the country or unable to travel to country of funeral. Ages ranged from 21 to 80-odd. Cancer, accidents, age and suicide. One miscarriage too.

As an Irish person I found this bizarre. Anyway, me and two others went, sat in the back row, paid our respects, left soon after the service and a week later colleague is back and comes up to us in the office and thanks us, and said she was touched that we'd been thinking of her and her family.

This is the sort of thing I was alluding to when I said that in the Southern US, there are cultural expectations about attending funerals. A fair number of the ones I have been to have been the parents of co-workers, where I didn't even know the deceased. It's considered a sign of respect to support the survivors by attending the funeral of their relative. When my mother died, two of my closest colleagues even traveled out of state to attend her funeral.

I'm 50 and have been to 10.
2 Grandmas
1 Granddad
1 Father-in-law
1 Mother-in law
1 Brother-in-law
2 Uncles
1 Aunt
1 Work colleague/friend

Mid twenties, I've been to none.