How many funerals have you been to

[grimreaper1]

First off, I'm aware this is morbid and I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm currently studying grief and loss and becoming aware of how much bereavement I have experienced.

I'm 35 years old and I've lost 6 family members, a close friend, a teenage neighbour, accompanied two close relations to funerals of people I also knew and have had a pregnancy loss. So 10 funerals and a miscarriage.

I was just wondering if others had experienced the same or less or more? I don't know if it's changed my experience of death.

AIBU in thinking it's a lot for someone my age?

1 my grandfathers although during my teens and 20s a lot of friends died.

I try to avoid funerals.

The older you get, the more dead people you know.

So far, four, dad's is next week.

Oh and I'm in my 20's

1. One for an elderly adult and one for a pre-school child.

At 35, just two grandparents (other two grandparents also dead but overseas, and various losses like close neighbours and two teachers).

At 45, add three fathers of friends, two godparents, and MIL, plus four memorial events for friends.

I'm 54, have been to 15 funerals, including, My Dad, Grandparents (1 set, the other set died when I was a small child) My partner( who died 5 years ago age 34) plus various relations, friends etc.

I'm 32 and have been to 6 funerals. 4 of them family members.
In the last 2 years I have lost the only 2 grandparents I knew (we were very close) and my dear dad only a month ago.

You’ve attended the funerals of patients? I’ve never heard of a GP doing that before.

My dad's oncologist, Macmillan nurse and GP all attended his funeral. He had been ill for 3 years and they had looked after him so well. It meant a lot to us. As soon as I have the strength and words I'll be sending them thank you cards for their care.

Too many to count . It’s the done thing where I live to attend the funerals of neighbours, family friends , distant relatives , your colleagues mother etc

Actually some of them would just have been the wake . You go to a lot of wakes over the years .

Surely there's quite a lot of variables based on how big your famillies and social circles are.

I'm a similar age to you.

Have been to 6 funerals and had a miscarriage. Don't count that as many at all. Thankfully all the funerals were for elderly relatives/in-laws.

6 in total, 5 in last few years. I have reached that age 58. Wasn’t allowed to go as a D.C.

I'm 45 and I started making a list when I saw this thread and stopped when I got to as many funerals as my age.

One was my best friend, who died on Xmas Eve when I was 18 and my first girlfriend who died when she was 20. I had two friends who were just a couple of years older than me die within 18 months of each other when I was 28 (one car crash, one brain aneurysm).

Lost my paternal grandparents within six months of each other (both in their 60s) when I was 24 and was with my gran when she died. Conversely I only lost my maternal grandparents in the last three years, nan at 89 and grandad at 97.

I've been asked to give eulogies at five funerals and read at two others. But none of them were family ones.

I'm 50 and have been to about 10. Of these two were for people that I didn't know well but were friends of the family. The others were ...
Grand parent
Cousin
3 friends
ds's friend
ex-boyfriend
God parent

I think I've been pretty lucky so far.

I’m late 30s and have probably been to around 20 funerals. A couple of years ago, between dh and I we went to 9 funerals over the year. We are both involved with guiding and Scouting, so when older/past leaders die, we tend to know them and try to turn out (I reckon about half of the funerals I’ve been to are guiding/scouting people, but a mix of ages, from 40s to very elderly). Last year, we considered it a good year, as only one funeral to attend.
Others are best friend, grand parents, great grandparents, dhs family members, family friends/parents friends.

I know a lot of people of various ages so attending So many funerals doesn’t seem strange. (I know Friends who seem to know hardly anyone, no hobbies, very small families, so I guess they would rarely attend a funeral).

Too many.

I'm like Drum, have lost count but well into 3 figures. And some of these could be 3 day events - typically Rosary on first evening, Funeral home the next night for Removal prayers as the body is brought to the Church, (some people may just go to the Funeral Home or the Reception Prayers at the Church) then Funeral Mass the following day and burial and maybe onto hotel or pub for meal afterwards. Possibly a cup of tea at the house after Rosary and Removal too.

Would go to the funeral of a neighbour even if you didn't know them, the grown up adult children of a neighbour or the neighbour's parent, the old neighbours from where I grew up, the funeral of a current of past colleague, friends, friend's family, own family, any in-laws and out-laws too, teachers, members of sporting and community etc .

In some rural communities you could go to a funeral a couple of times a week - sometimes with very tenuous links to the deceased - but it's a great opportunity to meet with people.

When my DF died I would say about a 1000 people showed up to pay their respects over the 3 days at the house and the church - that's a fair indication of how many funerals you might expect to go to in a lifetime.

I'm 31 nearly 32 and been to 5. My grandma, my uncle, my MIL, and 2 other of my DH's relatives.

By the age of 35, I had been to:

1 DGP (long term illness)
Lots of elderly DAunts/DUncles/DCousins and extended family (mostly long term illnesses/age related, 1 heart attack)
DH's DGP (shorter illness but had a couple of months to prepare)
DH's DUncle (heart attack)

Lots of neighbours and parents of both work colleagues and childhood friends (mostly ill and expected, a couple of those were unexpected)

Had been to a number of funeral homes with open caskets or open viewings at home, but none before the age of 19.

Or to the Church for the arrival in the evening, but not gone to the actual funeral and/or burial the following day.

Had also been to various forms of "wake" - tea and sandwiches in a parish hall straight after burial, sandwiches and pints in local pub, full sit down meal in a hotel, serving everyone back at the deceased house or another family member house (sometimes tea/sandwiches, sometimes a more extensive meal).

In the decade since then, I've had another:
3 DGPs (all elderly and reasonably expected)
DFIL (short and difficult illness)
DAunt (unexpected)
Lots more neighbours and parents, but also a number of work colleagues also (some expected, a number not)

Continued the range of wakes, but has also included a number of occasions attending the house the night before the funeral and having a few drinks there.

Also, I've now been to a crematorium 3 times - all the previous ones were burials.

I'm 44.
I've been to 9.

I'm 50 and have been to about 12. Youngest were my stillborn sibling and a teen suicide, the last one was an elderly relative just last week

I'm 50 and I've been to seven

Grandad 1984
Great Aunt 1995
Nan 1998
Uncle 1999
Father In Law 2000
Aunt 2003
Friend's Mother 2014

Similar age to you and been to 18. (lots of great Aunts & Uncles)

I strongly feel that we should talk more openly about grief, loss and end of life wishes. I also feel we should talk more (in an age appropriate way) to children about it.

A close relative lost her husband of 50 yrs last year and some said to me she should be over it now- it's been 4 months. Such a lack of understanding about grief.

I'm 42. I've been to 17, I think.

Mother
Father
Grandmother x 2
Grandfather
Grandmother's husband
Greatgrandmother
Husband's grandmother x 2
Husband's grandfather
Aunt
Uncle
Great Uncle
Friend x 2
Best Friend's Mother
Best Friend's Father