How many funerals have you been to

[grimreaper1]

First off, I'm aware this is morbid and I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm currently studying grief and loss and becoming aware of how much bereavement I have experienced.

I'm 35 years old and I've lost 6 family members, a close friend, a teenage neighbour, accompanied two close relations to funerals of people I also knew and have had a pregnancy loss. So 10 funerals and a miscarriage.

I was just wondering if others had experienced the same or less or more? I don't know if it's changed my experience of death.

AIBU in thinking it's a lot for someone my age?

I wonder the same thing about the size of funerals. The culture around attending funerals in the Southern US seems very similar to Ireland. I don't think I have ever been to a funeral that had less than 50-75 people, and most are well over 100.

I’m a similar age and in the UK. I’ve been to about 500... but I used to play the organ at funerals

I’ve been part of the congregation for maybe 50 funerals.

Another Irishwoman here! Dad was one of 10 and Mum one of 9. If you count wakes, mass only, full funerals etc, then dozens and dozens. From my 95 year old Uncles to my cousins three year old.

Not morbid at all, death is part of life.

And the death of someone at a great age who has had a good life can often be much more a celebration than a bereavement. In the Southern US, these funerals are big family reunions, with lots of conversation and conviviality, and of course, food and drink.

@notanotherpothole Funeral numbers do vary. I went to one once where there were only 13 of us!
Overwhelmingly though, most funerals I go to have 60 - 100 people there.
My Dad's had 450 odd there.
If it is a younger person, then, by their very nature, they will be better attended as their peers are alive - they have siblings, cousins, potentially parents, Aunts, Uncles, and all their friends. Plus colleagues, and often you will get parents of your dc's friends who accompany them, etc etc.

I think people are more shaken by someone dying in their 50s than someone dying in their 90s.
If you are in your 90s when you die then your parents / Aunts / Uncles will all have died, very likely your spouse and your siblings and cousins and your long term friendship group will have, and potentially even your nieces and nephews and maybe your dc, so there are fewer people left to mourn you.

Talking about Funeral numbers. My dd's funeral was massive and I HATED it. In the chapel the priest announced that everyone attending the cemetery should go straight on and not wait behind the family cars. We sat in the cars for 30mins so the police could direct all the cars out of the car park. When we arrived at the cemetery the cars were parked all the way back on to the main road the police were also there.
Driving in there to hundreds of people really affected me. I understand people were there to support us but to me it didn't feel right. If I could go back and change it I would have chosen a private funeral.

I’m in my early 40s and I’ve been to at least 15- possibly 20 or more. Like you, I have suffered pregnancy loss too (on more than one occasion.) My mum plays the organ for funerals so goes to about 3 a week! It’s really hard for her when she knows the person, though.

Grandad,
Mum's friend,
Mum's friend's mum,
Great uncle,
Mum's friend,
Friend's dad,
Grandad
Fiance's grandad.

So 8.

I'm 36

4 close friends my age
1 grandparent (although I've lost 3)
1 uncle
1 auntie
2 funerals for support of a partner where I hadn't met the deceased.

Mid 50s and been to 9 in total. We have a small and long lived family - currently 3 members in their mid 90s!

I am 28 and been to 9 funerals

Polish culture is similar to Irish then.
I'm 36, been on many funerals not only close relatives sometimes even didn't know the person who died.
in those cases you go to the funeral to show your respect etc.