How many funerals have you been to

[grimreaper1]

First off, I'm aware this is morbid and I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm currently studying grief and loss and becoming aware of how much bereavement I have experienced.

I'm 35 years old and I've lost 6 family members, a close friend, a teenage neighbour, accompanied two close relations to funerals of people I also knew and have had a pregnancy loss. So 10 funerals and a miscarriage.

I was just wondering if others had experienced the same or less or more? I don't know if it's changed my experience of death.

AIBU in thinking it's a lot for someone my age?

39 and 6 that I can recall (5 family and my best friends brother at school). There were others for old family friends when I was much younger

I'm early 30s and have been to 6. All old(ish) relatives.

21 - I've been to 6. The hardest of which being my DD's

Two

My grandfather
My partner

I'm 29

Three grandparents (all 70-85), DH's grandmother (late seventies) uncle (66) and cousin (aged 47), my uncle (61), my best friend's dad (72), a friend from work (38), a friend (21), a friend (14) and a friend's child (1) so 12 in total and I'm also 35.
I've included ages because the the last four in particular were the hardest because they were younger, and all either completely sudden or they were ill for a very short time and in two cases I was much younger too.

I’m 34 and can think of 11.

My Grandma (Dads side)
My Grandad (Dads side)
My Grandad (Mums side)
My Dad
Ex Partners Grandad
Ex Partners Dad
Ex Ex Partners Uncle
A Friend - Suicide
A Friend - Car Accident
A Friend - Illness? / Sudden Death
A Colleague

I went to my first funeral at 13

I’m 29 and I’ve been to 2 funerals. My paternal grandad died when I was a child and I didn’t attend his, and I’ve been very lucky as nobody close to me died in the next two decades.

My MIL died in 2017 so that was my first, then my maternal grandad died in 2018.

I'm 50 and at a guess I think about 15. Mostly elderly relatives, one was a school friend years ago, plus a friend's DH.

Totheletterofthelaw - I read your post as 6.5 initially, confusing!

The number of funerals rather depends on the size of the family surely? If your parents had lots of siblings, and they in turn had large families, likely to be more deaths and subsequent funerals.

I'm late 20's and I've been to 2. Uncle and nan. Small family, family friend died of a heart attack aged 32 but my mum didn't want me to attend the funeral.

Late thirties. 10

Family friend
5 grandparents
Friend
Friends parent
Aunt x 2

I'm recently turned 38 and haven't been to a funeral for the last 2 years, so comparable to you in age. Previous to that I've been to the funerals of 4 grandparents, about 8 other relatives of the same generation (i.e. they were all over 70), and two more memorable funerals - one my step fil who died of cancer and was only 59 and a horrendous one of a young family member who died in a tragic accident leaving a pregnant wife. It was brutal. I've never been to the funeral of a child, thank goodness.

12 I can remember. Two or three more I could not attend due to disabled children or pregnancy.

I'm 39.
1 daughter; all 4 Grandparents & 1 great-grandparent; 1 uncle; 1 cousin, 1 god-father, 4 school friends (while at secondary school), DS MIL, 1 work colleague, 3 x work friends DP, and probably others that I can't bring to mind right now.

As a child I lost my uncle (in his 40s) and two grandparents (one in her 60s, one in his 70s) but wasn't taken to their funerals as my parents thought it would be too upsetting. I also missed DH's grandmother's as I had just given birth.

So I've actually been to four funerals (grandmother, aunt, DH's uncle, friend).

I'm irish aswell my mam says english people treat death strangely. In Ireland you go to all the funerals. Last week she went to two one was for the man who owned the pub in the village and the other was for her work friends mam. Since I've moved to england I've been to 6 4 for my husbands grandparents 1 for his uncle and 1 I flew home for my uncles funeral.
I dont think my husband is prepared for the strangeness of irish funerals when he will have to go to one he thinks we are strange

I work for a church so quite a few. In fact I have 2 next week.

People I know include grandparents (3). Uncle. Father in law. School friend (he was 14, very sad). Some family friends. Lots I've wanted to attend, mostly older family friends but also a woman my age died of a brain tumour. So I've attended maybe 8 or so personal ones but would have been 12 or more if I had been able to get leave for the others. I'm 30 so by the time I'm 35 I'll almost certainly have lost my 93yo granny.

I posted upthread saying that I've been to loads but reading this thread has just reminded me that I've never been to a crematorium in my life, or a non religious funeral. The funeral services were all held in the family home or in church.

I'm so interested in this. I always knew funerals were done very differently in the UK & especially England but still surprised how few some people have been to.

Like under other Irish people, I literally couldn't count. Many many funerals, we would have been taken from childhood, as indeed mine are now. But it is very different in Ireland, you don't have to have known the person, maybe you've a connection, even quite tangential, to a family member.

At 43 I'm going to a lot more 'personal' funerals, I've lost my dad & my Grandma recently, and lots of friends' parents have passed away too. Very hard.

I have been to some desperately sad funerals for young people & recently a small friend of my 8yo DS & all you can do is hope your presence & love is somehow holding them up through their grief.

For me funerals & attending are so important & I make every effort to be there.

I'm 35.

3 were people known to me (2 relatives, 1 friend)

1 was moral support for my friend who lost her father but I didn't know him.

Countless others as the school I went to made us attend funerals held at the connecting cathedral if they were anyone known to the school community past or present.

I've been to 8, I think. I'm 34.

I'm 51 and too many... Never went to my first funeral until I was 18.

3 friends when young (2 accidents, 1 died in sleep)
4 grandparents
3 great aunts
9 aunts/uncles (mum and dad have huge families, dad was one of 11 kids)
2 cousins (accidents)
SIL (suicide)
2 PIL (alcoholism, cancer)
3 SIL parents (I have 5 SIL)
5 closevwork colleagues (2 cancer, 3 ill health during retirement)
4 close work colleagues parents (cancer, age related illness)
1 close work colleagues dh (cancer)
2 close work colleagues dc (suicide, accident on school trip)
4 parents friends/neighbours, I've taken my parents as they weren't mobile (age related illness)
1 friends dc (born sleeping)
Dad

could be more I've missed. Last one was dad 5 years ago. Not many aunts/uncles left and most emigrated so unlikely to go to their funerals, but their kids usually bring their ashes back to Scotland so will go to memorials/scattering.

I’m 30 - 8 funerals and one memorial.

3 x grandparents (too young for 4th)
1 x great aunt
2 x uncles
1 x boyfriend’s grandmother
1 x friend’s sister (21 - that was hard)
Memorial was my best friend’s father who was well known in his profession.

Not a lot, compared to many of you

Not counting mcs, I've been to 6. I'm older than you by a couple of decades.