to think asking “Are you alright for a drink”? Is not offering someone a drink?

[SproutMuncher]

Last night I went to the pub with 3 friends, one of whom brought her new(ish) partner, so there were 5 of us. I arrived last, and said I was going to the bar and asked if anyone would like a drink, to which they all said yes and I bought the round - fine.

When we finished our drinks, one of my friends did the same - fine.

When my friend’s boyfriend finished his drink, he asked his girlfriend if she wanted a another red wine, then as he got up to go, said to the rest of us “are you guys alright for a drink?”. We all said we were fine but it narked me a bit.

I know it isn’t a massive deal and actually this aside I really liked the guy, but just interested in people’s thoughts. AIBU to think this isn’t really offering to buy us drinks at all?

He asked, but worded it so it you would feel obliged to say no and you did, so it works for him!

Someone asked me that once and I said ‘I will have a red wine please if that’s okay?’ And he groaned and said ‘I was just being polite, I didn’t expect you to actually say yes’. I was taken aback and said ‘are you joking?’ And he said no, and didn’t buy me one. Staggeringly rude! I never spoke to him again (not a close friend, just an acquaintance).

It is offering, but sometimes if I'm offering to do something that I don't actually want to do, I'll word it like that so that I get the answer I want!

I get what you mean ... it needs more effort to say ‘ actually no I’m not ok and would like another xyz’ ...than ‘ yes please same again’ ... it might have been intentional it might not ...let him get his round before you next time

Is he Scottish? We say that all the time meaning “do you want a drink?” PS you take things pretty overly seriously huh!

Seems like he’s offering to me

I’d have felt the same way with that approach and phrasing OP. You sound lovely - ignore the other comments!

He was definitely offering to buy you guys a drink. That's how I would word it.

Not rtft so someone else may already have said this but the whole point of the "you'll have had your tea" thing wasn't originally being tight but about conforming to other social norms: "you'll have had your tea so you can take a dram/wee nip"

I understand what you mean too, the answer "I'm fine" just seems the right answer; although hopefully if you had said, "oh a pint please" he would have got them in.

We once went out with a couple weknew who had some friends staying with them. While our friends bought a full round, as did we, the bloke from the couple didnt include dh and I in his round!! It was a bit uncomfortable really with our mutual friend making silly comments and coughing and dh having to get up to go and get us drinks! The evening sort of ground to a halt after that.
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Thst is absolutely an offer & not an unusual way of offering by any means, especially with drinks.

I don't think he was offering - why wouldn't he say "same again for everyone?" He was hoping you would all say no - tight git!

It seems to me that if he was offering he would have said to you ‘what can I get you ladies?’ or ‘same again?’ He was looking for a cheap round by asking if you were all right for a drink because you would instinctively say yes - cheap skate!

It's a bit of a lazy 'hope they won't say yes' way of asking if someone wants another drink. But as pp have said, technically he has offered to buy. Although if it was the first time I'd met new partners friends id be making it clear that I wanted to buy them all a drink especially if they'd all got me one.

Hope he pays his fair share of the fancy dinner!

I agree with you OP it sounds like it was a half-arsed offer, almost like you others were an afterthought. You should've both said a resounding YES tho!

Sounds to me like he was actually saying "the rest of you are fine and don't need one, do you?".

It's an offer

I tend to say what would you like if they are empty or nearly gone

If they've got a load left to go then I say are you alright which means I'll get you one but not sure if you want one as you've got loads left and you'll be lining them up (which is ok by me but not everyone does it).

I would have no compunction at saying I'll have X , normal way of talking round here

I would assume he was offering

Id see that as an offer. If its not, he's a real optimist thinking people will feel its a subtle cue to say I'm OK thanks. I don't pick up on subtle stuff like that & suspect a lot of people wouldn't either. I usually tell people upfront not to be subtle or hint, as it'll go straight over my head.

I'd see it as an offer. If it's not, I've disappointed many with my gleeful 'ooh, I'll have another wine, thanks!'

I agree with you - I’d take it as implicit that he didn’t really want to buy them and was hoping you’d decline. It was a leading question rather than an open one.

Lol do you have issues understanding English? “Are you alright for a drink?” Is literally asking “would you like me to purchase a drink for you?”. I really don’t understand why you are annoyed. I thought you were going to say he asked just his gf and then walked off to get her a drink and no one else!

I sort of see what you mean but it is an offer

I’m with OrganicApricot

Sounds like he was asking but hoped everyone would say they were okay and didn’t want a drink. Sounds tight tomme where he sound be pushing the boat out if only just meeting folks