To give the newly weds exactly what their invite requests?

[BeeFreeForTea]

I've been invited to a wedding (family). They've requested people don't give cash or gifts, but put in a scratch card.

AIBU to just put a £5 scratch card in?

I'm really not sure. They've asked for it, after all. I usually give wedding couples £50 or £100 to close friends and family.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable putting £50 worth of scratch cards in... Says she who religiously plays the lottery twice a week

OMG, what if you bought one and they won £1 million!! I just couldn’t bear it!!

Super I'd be so ridiculously jealous! But they deserve it. They're the kindest people and so generous with whatever they do have

I'm talking about the giver may have a problem with gambling, not the couple and putting them in a position of buying a scratchcard could be bad for them.

I'm talking about the giver may have a problem with gambling

The giver might have a problem with all kinds of things, but it’s not about them.

We got married last year and didn’t want any gifts however we still received many. Some people put in scratch cards and a lottery ticket using numbers that related to us, we won £120 in total, we had fun aswell! I think it’s a nice idea, without saying you don’t want anything. We got so much backlash for saying that!

Sounds like a good way of stopping people giving you loads of money or gifts whilst still fulfilling peoples' need to give 'something'. They are obviously just asking for one, you decide whether that's a £1 or £10 one.

You clearly have no empathy for people with addictions.

I would never buy anyone a scratch card incase they won loads of money. It would cause issues I reckon.

I would never buy anyone a scratch card incase they won loads of money. It would cause issues I reckon.

Only if you're the kind of person who thinks that you'd be owed something.

A gift is a gift.
If you give a scratch card to someone and they win, it's their winnings to do with as they wish.

The giver might have a problem with all kinds of things, but it’s not about them

only on mumsnet would people dismiss addictions if they got in the way of buying the 'correct' wedding present 🤣

No-one's dismissing addictions. If someone has a gambling problem that means they don't want to buy a scratchcard in case it triggers them into gambling, they could always just give the B&G a nice card.

The scratchcard gift is not compulsory, it's just a suggested fun token because they don't want actual gifts and they don't want anyone to feel obliged into giving a 'proper' amount of money or vouchers, because most people would feel weird about giving £2/5/10 in a way that giving a scratchcard in a card is not you'd think.

Well if I bought someone a scartchcard that won £100,000 I'd be absolutely fuming.

So I suppose I'm an arsehole and everyone else would be so thrilled to watch them spend the money.

Ok then 😂

@Morgan12 I guess it depends - do you regularly buy scratch cards?
If you bought one for them and one for you and theirs won you'd be justified to be miffed IMO but if the only reason you bought one is because they'd asked for it that's different.

OMG. Do they need to go to gamblers anonymous. I've never heard anything like it.
Even a lottery ticket would be better at least it's life changing. X

Calm down Lisa. If they'd needed to go to gamblers anonymous surely they'd ask for the money and spend that on scratch cards themselves as they'd be able to buy a lot more that way.

You wouldn't know it was your scratchcard that they had won with though?

Lisa, what? They're clearly just trying to keep people's costs down while also giving them the chance of winning a boat load of money. It's a cute idea... you're gifting them the chance at winning without great cost to yourself

Ahh my lovely mum used to buy me a scratch card now and again. It's just a bit of fun. Just buy £5 or £10 worth. I dint think they are expecting you to buy £50 worth!!

You know the couple so are best placed to understand their circumstances. Sounds like they have everything they need and just want the chance of winning big. Don't be a snob.

Super fun idea.

I often give scratch cards as little extra gifts.

And sometimes day dream about scratching loads of them.

It's a bit of fun. And a slim chance of a nice little win.

No harm in it at all. Wish I'd thought of it.

Yeah they'll probably just take them all out of the cards and they'll get mixed up. If they win (big) I don't even think they (B&G) will know who gave them the winning scratchcard. I think it's much better that way!

It's a great idea. No gift lists, no pay for our honeymoon, no stupid poems. All MN hated.

Just stick a scratchy in a card and if we get a winner brilliant, if not it goes towards good causes.

Alcohol addiction is also very common but most people serve it at their weddings.
Bullimia is a problem but food is still served.
I'm sure if the couple know that one of their friends has a gambling problem they would have quietly said, 'just send a card' or something. And if they don't know, it's really no different to not knowing that one of their guests has a problem with any number of things at their wedding.
I'm not remotely trying to minimise the problems of addiction, I have experienced problems relating to addiction whether in myself or those close to me in various forms and really do understand. But you cannot run a wedding and ensure that it protects everyone from every conceivable problem, though you can of course make adjustments for people's needs where possible.

no pay for our honeymoon

I really hate that one.

I've never been married but I find it shocking how many couples have both the wedding (and dress) and honeymoon paid for them by others.

My mums best friends daughter (we were at school together but never friends) had it all paid for by herself & her husband + honeymoon (all over 20k) and they broke up the year after!

^^ paid for by her parents I mean.

Much as I think it's a total waste of money, I would do what they ask for. It's their choice.