To give the newly weds exactly what their invite requests?

[BeeFreeForTea]

I've been invited to a wedding (family). They've requested people don't give cash or gifts, but put in a scratch card.

AIBU to just put a £5 scratch card in?

I'm really not sure. They've asked for it, after all. I usually give wedding couples £50 or £100 to close friends and family.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable putting £50 worth of scratch cards in... Says she who religiously plays the lottery twice a week

Thanks schadenfruede - apposite name there !
Having now remembered this I have the nagging problem of it suddenly seeming important to find it (I would have kept it somewhere). Can feel a hunt coming on !!

Heron Oh my goodness 😭 Bless her

You have a much better chance of getting something with the straight £50.

Yes, sorry I meant for the person giving the gift. They spend £50 either way.

Love the scratch card idea I would buy them what they want. I wouldn't probably spend anymore then £20 on them though

I'd rather they put 50 cash towards their electricity bill than potentially buy 20 bits of cardboard, if we are talking about buying helpful, useful presents.

Actually now I come to think about it, I'd give cash, with a note to say "for the scratchcards!" Then they can spend it as they see fit.

I'd just give £50.They can spend it on scratch cards if they like!Just seems so wasteful if not.

Oh trewser - clever !

Tre but that's completely not what they asked for?

I don't understand the upset over spending money on the scratch cards instead of giving them the money. I'm no environmentalist but at least this way it isn't spent on needless shite nobody wants

And why would you pay their bill instead? It's a wedding present. These people don't need their bills paying either, they're perfectly fine

Also. You can't win with some people - They might feel bad for spending the money in anything else but scratch cards and therefore spend the total amount on the cards.

So you may as well of bought them yourself

I wouldn't pay their bill! I said they could use it to pay their bills if they wanted!

And I wouldn't be stopping them from getting what they wanted at all! Although I rather suspect they wouldn't bother spending it on scratchcards, great.

@BeeFreeForTea ignore @Trewser.
There's no common sense in anything they're saying.

Your family don't want presents or cash. They don't need presents or cash.
They know some people struggle to pay to attend a wedding.
They know it's expensive enough getting an outfit, travel, etc.
They want a scratch card and your presence.

Get them a scratch card and have a lovely time.

I would assume they're just asking for scratch cards exactly because they want people to pop in a £5 scratch card rather than buying loads of stuff they have no space for or asking for cash which comes across as grabby.

@LaurieMarlow yes I prefer to give cash if they absolutely have everything they need. Then they can spend it in due course. I understand what they are doing with the scratchcard thing, it't quirky.

My main objection to scratchcards is on principle.

Trewser I’m still not understanding your aversion to giving people what they actually want as a wedding present.

Gifts should be about the recipient.

is on principle.

What’s the principle?

I’m relieved to see you’re happy to give cash. I thought we’d another MN ‘silver photo frame’ proponent on our hands.

£50 towards their electricity bill.

How boring and insulting!
Maybe they don’t need help with their electricity bill, perhaps that just want a bit of fun.

I still think the scratch card is significant

Oh fgs

I wouldn't specify they had to spend it on their leccy bill

I said they could spend on bills for all i care!

Haha I hate getting picture frames as they're never the ones I would choose.

The principle against gambling. It can cause so many problems.

Heron, that is so sweet. Happy hunting and reminiscing 💐.
People who are moaning about giving scratchcards instead of a gift or money, the B&G Want scratchcards.
They don't want others to spend a fortune on stuff they've already got. They want guests to enjoy the wedding and not feel obliged to buy the latest of anything.
If people asked me what I wanted and then completely ignored me I would be a bit 🤔. They will enjoy them and who knows ?

£1 scratchcard for a bit of fun. I wouldn't want charity donations in my name unless it was to a charity I actively support.

The OP can do what she likes, she was confused over how yo do it, but now she seems to have worked that out

I am saying what I would do.

There is no way I would spend 5 on a wedding present and no way I'd spend a chunk of cash on scratchcards.

There is also no way that they'd be offended or annoyed by cash with a friendly note to spend on scratchcards, and anyone who suggests they would be has disappeared up the collective MN arse.

Yes, people don't seem to realise that with the scratchcards, you're buying them an experience, plus the cost of the gift is being limited to a token amount, without them getting a load of bottles of alcohol, photo frames or Mr & Mrs tat.

The experience being the fun and excitement that they'll have scratching off a few cards guilt free with the possibility that they'll win a lifechanging amount of money, or at least an amount that will buy them a holiday or other decent amount.

They don't want money, because people always think that they have to give £50/100+ or else it looks mean and they probably have all the household goods they need.

An experience? Oh come on.

The principle against gambling. It can cause so many problems.

It can

It usually doesn’t.

Just like alcohol. Would you also object to gifting booze?