To give the newly weds exactly what their invite requests?

[BeeFreeForTea]

I've been invited to a wedding (family). They've requested people don't give cash or gifts, but put in a scratch card.

AIBU to just put a £5 scratch card in?

I'm really not sure. They've asked for it, after all. I usually give wedding couples £50 or £100 to close friends and family.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable putting £50 worth of scratch cards in... Says she who religiously plays the lottery twice a week

Somebody I know had a friend who asked for a lottery ticket for their birthday instead of an actual present.
This person was so worried that they could potentially lose out on winning a large sum of money that they decided to get a Lucky Dip ticket and then purchased another ticket for themselves using the numbers on the Luck Dip ticket.
They thought this way if the friends ticket was a winner then they would be too and wouldn’t feel really peeved off missing out.

My SIL gets us a scratchcard at Christmas and birthdays (as well as other things) and has done for years. It's just a bit of fun.

laurie why are you so against people not likong gambling? It's perfectly possible to hate gambling and be fine with booze, or vice versa. You may not think it doesn't make any sense, but its not really up to you, is it?

Some people may have personal experience of the damage gambling can do.

I suspect your note wouldn’t be friendly though Trewser
The words would be but there would be a passive aggressive undertone with a hint of shudder.

@Trewser can you please just agree that if ever you get a request like this you'll buy them a scratch card and a bottle of champagne or something?

No, it would be perfectly friendly

I may hate gambling but I have very good manners.

Yellowbutterfly1
😂 FFS. Did they overthink that or what!?

@BeeFreeForTea - I don’t suppose you could give us a bit of context re; the couple involved? I.e - is this a second marriage for either, or indeed a first time for both? Is it a fairly lowkey wedding?

The reason I ask is I’ve never been to a (1st time marriage) wedding where there hasn’t been a wedding list of sorts, or gift vouchers and/or money requests for honeymoon.

However, I’ve been to a few second time round weddings where they’ve either asked for no gifts or small donations to charity. I suppose I’m just wondering if your family member fits into one of these?

GiveHerHellFromUs

I am very unlikely to get a request like this, but I have said what I'd do if I did.

@Trewser but then you're not respecting their wishes, which is what you said you would do previously, and it just looks like you couldn't be arsed to get a scratch card.

@Henlie at my brothers big first time wedding they asked for charity contributions specifically.

It's perfectly possible to hate gambling and be fine with booze, or vice versa.

There's no logic to it, is my point.

It comes back to point about gifting. It's my believe that the gift should be about the recipient. And I think it's good manners to put their wants/desires first in this situation. You clearly disagree.

No I am not doing what they asked for. I'm sure they won't mind.

I have said what I'd do if I did.

I thought your opening gambit was 'I couldn't bear to attend the wedding'

No?

Of course there is logic to it. Anyway, I've already told you I wouldn't dream of giving alcohol either. A bottle of supermarket wine is for dinner parties.

Yes, it was, then I thought what I would really truly do and I've come to the conclusion I'd give cash with a note

@Trewser who mentioned supermarket wine? I said champagne and nobody mentioned gifting alcohol since.

Gambling causes immense problems. You cannot say it doesn't.

Alcohol also causes problems obviously. Personally I love being given a bottle of something but would never put out a request to people for alcohol on a grand scale. There might be alcoholics among them.

We talked about it before your post.

Gosh, no need to be a snotty cow. No one mentioned supermarket wine.

Anyway, I shall take comfort in the fact that you’re not thrusting a MN patented silver photo frame in their face, though I still think it’s a shame you won’t engage with the spirit of the gift requested.

To answer a previous poster, they're first time married so no previous marriages and are in their twenties

They have asked for a scratch-card. What the heck is wrong with buying them one then? It hardly suggests they are gambling addicts. (if they were far more sensible to ask for a wad of cash and blow it themselves on whatever their addiction is)
I'm with the people who say they want to save their guests expense and have a bit of fun. So it's a waste of money. So is spending a fiver on booze, chocolate, confetti, helium balloons, bath-bombs, or any of the other miriad things we choose to spend cash on FUN.

Kind of an odd gift to ask for but they asked for it so might as well just give them a £5 scratchcard.

And if my mates won a shed-load of dosh on one of the scratch-cards I'd be bloody thrilled for them. Yes I'd be jealous as well, I'm only human, but that wouldn't make me less happy for them.

Gambling causes immense problems. You cannot say it doesn't.

So does almost anything when abused. Food, alcohol, money.

If they had a known gambling problem, that would be different. But presumably, like most people, they have no problems and it’s a bit of fun.

£5 is fine, they probably have everything they need - if I remarry I will be giving my guests stuff rather than the other way around ... we have two 5 bed houses between us!