CF neighbours

[lcyb]

My neighbours are really starting to piss me off. They're an elderly couple and initially were lovely when we first moved in.

The past week or so though they have been awful. A few incidents have occurred now.

1st - was watching TV in my bedroom. My TV is on a chest of drawers in front of the wall. Neighbour bangs on wall and says "every bloody night that telly". Telly wasn't even on loud at all and I had subtitles on as it was so quiet. I was like but then let it go.

2nd - DS not well. Was crying for a couple of hours but wouldn't settle no matter what I did. Could hear my neighbour shouting about how he wouldn't shut up and they were getting really irate. Don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation?

3rd - was last night. Banging really loudly on the wall at half 11, so much so that it woke my baby up. I was absolutely fuming!

What do I do about this? Do I confront them or will this just give them more reason to kick off/complain about us? I'm really struggling to bite my tongue and feel so anxious in my own house: I'm constantly worried about whether or not my tv is loud, whether DS is being loud etc.

WWYD? AIBU?

This thread is batshit. Everyone has the right to live in their home and watch their tv ffs. The neighbours sound crazy. Go and speak to them Op. if there's some weird resonance or amplification of BOTH your tv's into their home (there won't be) you can offer to find a solution. If not then politely tell them you will love in your house making a reasonable amount of normal noise and them banging will not change that.

If they are elderly do they have hearing aids? This can make people extra sensitive to certain noise. A couple of people in my family have hearing aids and say they hear stuff like breathing, footsteps on carpet etc that the rest of us don’t notice!

I’ve had neighbours like this before. To summarise it simply: Nothing you do will be good enough for them so don’t bother trying. They will come up with more and more problems and drive you insane. I’d nip it in the bud now and not engage with them at all. The more you give in to their demands, the more power they feel they have over you. Also, note down every interaction you have with them and every time they bang. Just in case.

And I’m surprised by how many people don’t seem to understand that plenty of houses have shitty walls. Where I live now (not the same place as when I had the neighbour I mentioned above) I can hear my neighbour having a wee at nighttime when I’m in bed. There’s a bedroom on their side and a bathroom on my side in between. That’s how bad our houses are for sound carrying. We all hear all sorts. Luckily we are not all insane with too much time on our hands and control issues so we all just ignore each other’s noises and carry on with life.

Curious to know if people who stayed in your house before you had any problems.

Have TV on downstairs and more banging I don't understand!

Well then it’s obviously too loud, or the bass is on too loud or the speakers are on the rear of the tv so are blaring through their wall, or your tv stand/drawers whatever are touching the wall and the sound is vibrating through.

Doesn’t matter if you don’t understand, you are obviously disturbing them.
Put your TV on then call and ask if you can come in so you can hear what the problem is instead of insisting your tv is quiet.

In my job I had a lady who was being driven mad by an intimitant noise in her home. The individual had hearing aids and also suffered from tinnitus which made her more sensitive to sound.

She was getting more and more distressed. We eliminated noise from the neighbours, plumbing, heating etc. She was able to pin point the location of the noise, but we couldn't eliminate it. You name it we tried everything but still this sound, that none of us could hear went on driving her bonkers!

One day, after this was going onto for around 6 months she came to me and stated that the sound had gone.

Turns out her fridge, which she moved to clean behind every 6 months or so had been placed back too near a heating pipe so the fridge was causing vibrations against the pipe.

Unfortunately some people, through health, disability etc. are more sensitive to sound. I would try to discuss their issues and come to a solution that you are both agreeable to

Noise is a horrible problem to have! I believe IKEA have rugs that offer soundproofing that can be used as wall hangings 🤔

Op just a guess here but is the telly downstairs a flat screen mounted onto the party wall.....