CF neighbours

[lcyb]

My neighbours are really starting to piss me off. They're an elderly couple and initially were lovely when we first moved in.

The past week or so though they have been awful. A few incidents have occurred now.

1st - was watching TV in my bedroom. My TV is on a chest of drawers in front of the wall. Neighbour bangs on wall and says "every bloody night that telly". Telly wasn't even on loud at all and I had subtitles on as it was so quiet. I was like but then let it go.

2nd - DS not well. Was crying for a couple of hours but wouldn't settle no matter what I did. Could hear my neighbour shouting about how he wouldn't shut up and they were getting really irate. Don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation?

3rd - was last night. Banging really loudly on the wall at half 11, so much so that it woke my baby up. I was absolutely fuming!

What do I do about this? Do I confront them or will this just give them more reason to kick off/complain about us? I'm really struggling to bite my tongue and feel so anxious in my own house: I'm constantly worried about whether or not my tv is loud, whether DS is being loud etc.

WWYD? AIBU?

I thought most people had a TV in their bedroom

I've never had a TV in my bedroom - the only things I do in bed are read, shag and sleep - unfortunately not in equal quantities

I think most people accept there is very little people can do about crying babies so are hugely tolerant about it. Whilst being so tolerant a welcome lull in the screaming is replaced by thumping volumes of whatever tv show is relevant and I can feel the rage!! It’s all about consideration of others as well as trying to live your life.

I'm guessing you want to watch tv while lying in bed with the baby sleeping? Personally I would not put a wall mounted tv on a dividing wall. Could you wear wireless headphones while watching it?

They could have had issues with the previous tenants too which might account for them being particularly friendly when you moved in while they proved how neighbourly they could be, with the right next door neighbours. Before they speak to your landlord, try to appease them by removing the tv at least. If they complain you because of a crying baby, then really there is little the landlord can say to you.

If you heard him complain about the tv through the walls your walls must be incredibly thin! I would get one of those headsets so you can watch tv without any noise. Re the baby there is nothing you can do about that.

Oh it's the acóustics

I’d definitely get a sound bar.
My tv has one and its 60cm or so off the wall. If I’m upstairs or in the adjacent room I can’t hear it.
My neighbours have a wall mounted tv with rear speakers and I can hear it in every room other than my downstairs living room which I soundproofed with a false wall as it annoyed me so much.

But I can only just make out their raised voices so it just goes to show you can just make out a 70/80db voice but clearly hear a quieter probably 50/60db tv because the speakers are on the back and mounted on the wall.

I also work shifts sometimes so have wireless headphones which are amazing.

If they are commenting on your TV then they can hear it.

Why have you bothered asking when you obv think you are right?

This.
Just a waste of our time.

@Happinessinapeartree You sound so entitled, Op.

Entitled?!?! For wanting to watch TV in her OWN bedroom for 30 sodding minutes a night?! Are you on glue?

Before 11pm you are legally permitted to full enjoyment of your home. OP says it's not loud at all but yet PPs are coming on insisting it is, yet they're not there?!

Op, unfortunately there are people out there who fail to see the difference between hearing normal, day to day life noises from neighbours and noise nuisance. There is a big difference. However a lot of people hear a cough or a washing machine at 1pm and go batshit. I know because I lived through it from an elderly lady who I used to live next to.
I once used my hairdryer at 5:30pm and she went ballistic! Stormed into my house........

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily It’s you, OP. You’re the one disturbing the neighbours

What evidence/proof do you have of this please?

The baby crying they have to tolerate - and they probably would have if they weren't pissed off over the TV.
Try to work with them, can you move the TV?
Go and have a chat - they will probably be embarrassed by their complaints in the cold light of day.
I use some bright orange spongy ear plugs that I got from boots - they literally block out everything - I don't hear ANYTHING and I live on a really busy London street.

Some elderly people feel very entitled. As for anyone saying dont have your TV on, wtf?? Either knock and have a discussion about the banging, especially where the baby crying is concerned or bang back! They sound awful! Is it worth getting in contact with your landlord and explain what's going on of your worried about your tenancy?

How old are the houses? My 40s council house is like a castle- 2 layers of breezeblock! We barely hear our neighbours.

Honestly though my TV isn't loud at all.

It might not be loud for you but could be travelling through the wall to them.

What time was it on?

Why post in AIBU if you're so insistent that you're not BU?
It doesn't matter that you think the tv is quiet enough - if they can hear it late at night from their bedroom, then it's too loud. I'd be seriously pissed off having a neighbour like you.
The child crying can't be helped. The tv can...

Also, it will cost you two minutes of your time to put the tv on and go round to listen for yourself.

Can you name a single reason not to?

Op i dont know people expect when you live so close together.Noise is part of life.Its not like you have 24/7 house parties.

Sounds to me you are not overly noisy.

+1 for crying babies, they need to accept
+100 for how awful it must be for them trying to sleep with your TV going. If you heard them say "every bloody night" then the walls are thin. Don't be so selfish. Mount a rug, add a cushion or invest in headphones or a soundbar with features, like the one recommended.

And don't post in AIBU and go on -and on and on- about how you are not BU. Yes you are, for the telly in the bedroom and for the defensive, entitled responses.

It is incredibly frustrating to be woke by noisy neighbors. Mine is a newly opened fence business that fires up the trucks and machinery at six am every morning smashing the peaceful quiet of the countryside.
All I can do is hope they either grow or shrink too much to continue on the site because the county doesn't care that they violate the noise pollution ordinances five days a week.

@Dustarr73 so because some people have noisy parties and the OP doesn’t that excuses her from having to think of others at all?

The fact is: they can hear her tv late at night and she can easily do something about it.

Nope. No television in our bedroom.

If I want to watch TV upstairs, I do it on my tablet with headphones in so as not to disturb anyone.

And as others have said -

They are being unreasonable about your dc.

YABU and extremely selfish about the TV. Having a TV playing in your bedroom, while they are trying to sleep just metres away, is the height of selfishness. Use headphones, for god’s sake.

@LittleLongDog no but you live in close proximity,you cant live in silence.And op didnt mention late at night.

If she goes to bed at 9,thats not late particularly.Its all in the context.

Im sure they make noise,the op doesnt bang on their wall.

We all have neighbours.We all strive to get on.But noise is part of life.Thats just the way it is.

If I were your neighbour and I found out you were being deliberately stubborn and refusing to move the tv despite knowing it was disturbing us, I’d bang about and make lots of random loud noises. If the baby woke, that’s your problem 🤷‍♀️

And if you’re going to complain about the baby being woken maybe don’t be so selfish when it comes to others because they will bite back.

Bloody hell - move the tv away from the partition wall. And if there really is no other place I’m the whole bedroom for the tv in this one walled bedroom, just listen to it on headphones or watch it on your iPad

I suspect your lack of common sense and decency on the television front now means that everything you do now aggravates them