Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF neighbours

183 replies

lcyb · 05/01/2020 22:41

My neighbours are really starting to piss me off. They're an elderly couple and initially were lovely when we first moved in.

The past week or so though they have been awful. A few incidents have occurred now.

1st - was watching TV in my bedroom. My TV is on a chest of drawers in front of the wall. Neighbour bangs on wall and says "every bloody night that telly". Telly wasn't even on loud at all and I had subtitles on as it was so quiet. I was like Confused but then let it go.

2nd - DS not well. Was crying for a couple of hours but wouldn't settle no matter what I did. Could hear my neighbour shouting about how he wouldn't shut up and they were getting really irate. Don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation?

3rd - was last night. Banging really loudly on the wall at half 11, so much so that it woke my baby up. I was absolutely fuming!

What do I do about this? Do I confront them or will this just give them more reason to kick off/complain about us? I'm really struggling to bite my tongue and feel so anxious in my own house: I'm constantly worried about whether or not my tv is loud, whether DS is being loud etc.

WWYD? AIBU?

OP posts:
Wattagoose90 · 05/01/2020 23:16

Make them really uncomfortable by putting really loud porn on the telly.

Sorry - didn't have anything constructive to add!

Cherrysoup · 05/01/2020 23:17

As soon as they bang, go round-with screaming baby-and ask them if they’d like to make him quiet. Or demand to know what the problem is when the tv is on so quietly you can barely hear it!

Sizeofalentil · 05/01/2020 23:18

Could you wall mount a rug behind the tv to absorb some noise?

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:20

The only people here causing disruption is them, by banging so loudly on the wall that it wakes up an 8 month old.

They reiterated the fact 1000 times the first time I had a conversation with them that they had lived here for 31 years. So apparently they think the own the whole street just because they've lived here for so long.

OP posts:
Wilmalovescake · 05/01/2020 23:21

Well if I had a baby and knew my bedroom telly was upsetting the neighbours as well, as I couldn’t do anything about the baby I would show willing by not watching the bedroom telly after 9pm. I assume you’ve got one downstairs?

I’d also consider moving my and/or my baby’s bedrooms as far from their bedroom as I could.

Just try and be kind.

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:22

@Wilmalovescake I understand what you're saying, but I shouldn't feel like they're dictating what I do in my home just because they're being petty over a television that isn't loud at all in the first place

OP posts:
Canadianpancake · 05/01/2020 23:23

Do you have to have a TV in your bedroom? Hearing the neighbors TV when I'm trying to get to sleep would really piss me off, and would then make other small irritating things more of a big deal. There is nothing you can do about your baby crying, but there is something you can do about the TV. How about head phones?

Wilmalovescake · 05/01/2020 23:24

They obviously can hear it though.

Happinessinapeartree · 05/01/2020 23:25

Can't believe the nasty ageist posts on here. The couple are being disturbed with noise! Of that there is no doubt. Suggestions that they move or die are hideous.

Someone watching the tv in their bedroom is so inconsiderate. This is what probably started the animosity. Watch on an iPad or phone with earphones if you 'need' to watch tv at night when others are sleeping.

The baby crying etc isn't unreasonable and most people would accommodate that but sounds like you lost any sympathy from the tv noise.

IsadoraQuagmire · 05/01/2020 23:25

If they can hear your tv, it's too loud.

FrancisCrawford · 05/01/2020 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:26

@IsadoraQuagmire It's that quiet that I have subtitles on.

OP posts:
BanKittenHeels · 05/01/2020 23:27

I can see that they are being annoying and probably over reacting however why bother asking if YABU if you won’t accept any alternative views to your own?

They are behaving poorly but clearly your television is impacting them. Take some steps to drown out the sound, especially as it is next to a party wall. Noise can travel in ways you don’t expect - is it close to a chimney breast for instance? That makes things much louder.

Look into wireless headphones or even just pop a pillow or cushion behind the TV if you’re unable to afford a wall hanging that will drown out the noise for you neighbours.

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:28

For a good solid 7-8 hours a day when we're at work they have total silence from our side. Surely they half an hour of having the tv on (at minimum volume) they should deal with it. And I'm not talking having it on ridiculously late at night either

OP posts:
BanKittenHeels · 05/01/2020 23:28

It's that quiet that I have subtitles on

So are you suggesting they are lying?

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:29

@BanKittenHeels I could try a cushion actually. I'm not paying for soundproofing because that's a step too far

OP posts:
Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:29

@BanKittenHeels I'm suggesting that they are being ridiculous.

OP posts:
BanKittenHeels · 05/01/2020 23:30

For a good solid 7-8 hours a day when we're at work they have total silence from our side

So they should sleep when you are out?

FWIW, I think they are very unfair regarding noise from children but you are being unfair regarding television noise.

Happinessinapeartree · 05/01/2020 23:30

You sound so entitled, Op.

They should just suck it all up after living there for 31 years because you've arrived.

Deary me.

Apackoflips · 05/01/2020 23:33

Thing is OP , if its not loud how can they hear it in their house? If they were just making it up there would be times when they complain but there was no noise.

We had neighbours who put their TV near our party wall and we could hear it so loudly. It was mainly the bass notes and music that were the worst. But I know it wasnt really loud in their room as when it was summer they had the windows open and you could barely hear their TV.

It could well be that one of them has a hearing problem /hearing aid that might amplify certain sounds too .

Whatever the problem you might get to a resolution by talking to them.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 05/01/2020 23:34

My kitchen tv is quiet on the screen side, but not from behind. It’s you, OP. You’re the one disturbing the neighbours, then having the cheek to moan about them being pissed off.

Maybe if they had one less thing disturbing them, then they would be less likely to complain about the other stuff.

2020maddog · 05/01/2020 23:34

You are being unreasonable (now).

You've been given a few ideas of how to diffuse the situation, and you've dismissed them.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 05/01/2020 23:34

When you live in a semi or terraced house, you'll hear noise from your neighbours, end of. We live in a terrace and have heard all sorts...including some things late at night that I definitely didn't want to hear Grin.

The TV is an issue if it's against the wall. As a PP said, could you watch it downstairs or on an iPad? Otherwise, not much you can do. After 31 years, they should be used to neighbours' noise. Sounds like they enjoy complaining for the sake of it.

Dinosaurrawr · 05/01/2020 23:34

Can’t believe some of these posts. JC of course it’s not unreasonable to watch tv in your own bedroom! If the volume is reasonable the neighbours are not.

Part & parcel of living in a semi detached house which is frequently bandied about on posts where the OP complains about noise. If they have such intolerance to normal living noise they should isolate themselves, not the other way around.

OP I’d do what you can ie the cushion suggestion upthread but that would be it. Not a chance would I pay for soundproofing and if the banging continues I’d be asking them to stop disturbing me.

Original poster
lcyb · 05/01/2020 23:35

@Apackoflips I honestly don't know how they can hear it. I would totally understand if it was blaring loud. The walls must be paper thin or they must have really good hearing because I can barely hear it and I'm sat a few metres away from it

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread