CF neighbours

[lcyb]

My neighbours are really starting to piss me off. They're an elderly couple and initially were lovely when we first moved in.

The past week or so though they have been awful. A few incidents have occurred now.

1st - was watching TV in my bedroom. My TV is on a chest of drawers in front of the wall. Neighbour bangs on wall and says "every bloody night that telly". Telly wasn't even on loud at all and I had subtitles on as it was so quiet. I was like but then let it go.

2nd - DS not well. Was crying for a couple of hours but wouldn't settle no matter what I did. Could hear my neighbour shouting about how he wouldn't shut up and they were getting really irate. Don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation?

3rd - was last night. Banging really loudly on the wall at half 11, so much so that it woke my baby up. I was absolutely fuming!

What do I do about this? Do I confront them or will this just give them more reason to kick off/complain about us? I'm really struggling to bite my tongue and feel so anxious in my own house: I'm constantly worried about whether or not my tv is loud, whether DS is being loud etc.

WWYD? AIBU?

You might not think the tv is loud but base could travel through the walls? Maybe? So I would definitely go around and discuss the issue.

As for banging on the when they hear the dc, total arseholes! Dc don’t come with a volume control and a crying baby/toddler isn’t a noise you can help. Our NDN were the same when Ds used to wake up through the night experiencing night terrors. Used to bang on the walls. Never been so stressed. They refused to answer the door when I went round to explain and that wall banging really wouldn’t help the situation.

Must be really stressful OP and in your situation I think I’d be tempted to move, sorry that’s probably not the answer you wanted to hear but I can’t see the situation improving. They’ll be listening out for any noise they now deem unacceptable.

If I was trying to get to sleep and could hear quiet voices talking (from a television or otherwise) then yes - it would really annoy me!

I’m in a semi too but thankfully my bedroom is not a party wall as a large walk in wardrobe/storage cupboard and hallway stairs then the neighbours stairs and cupboard (their house is a “mirror” of ours) acts as a large buffer zone.

Some people require silence to sleep.

Baby noise us not unreasonable and cannot generally be avoided however tv noise is.

UABU, either don't have the telly on at night or move it, they obviously can hear air and are letting you know. Yes babies do cry but if it is the last straw after the itv on everynight the is way they are complaining.
It is probably vibrating on the wall.

@SweetMarmalade exactly. I feel like I'm tiptoeing round my house in case I make any bloody noise because they seem to hear absolutely everything! We've only just moved here a couple months ago

Also, is the chest of drawers it is sat on empty/partially? That can amplify sound in funny ways.

@Dinosaurrawr Thank you

@BanKittenHeels Nope, they are full

YABU over the telly. It doesn’t matter that you “can’t understand how they can hear it” or that you don’t think it’s loud.

Quite obviously it is loud enough to disturb them otherwise they wouldn’t be banging about it.

If the telly cannot be moved from an adjoining wall it should be removed. To keep it there, knowing it disturbs the neighbours, is very selfish.

YANBU about your screaming kid. Babies cry.

Can you hear them?

They sound like CF's but I would move the TV or watch it downstairs as an olive branch. That's really the only (possibly) justified complaint they have.

Your TV is likely next to their head end of the bed. Is the TV far from where you sit to watch it?

Yabu now. I would make changes and move the TV. If you love that house you will. If not and they complain to your landlord you will be out.

Have you had your hearing checked recently?

Someone who requires silence to sleep should not live in a semi.

I’d politely suggest white noise & ear plugs.

They would die (not literally) it they had my neighbours to the right. But I understand noise is part and parcel of living in a semi so I wouldn't complain, unless they were being really unreasonable and it was affecting my day to day life, which it isn't

Sorry not a semi I mean a terraced.

@Dinosaurrawr Maybe I'll post some ear plugs through the letter box

They might hear the vibration or they are really unreasonable. I've had bullying neighbours when younger. Right from the outset, they made really OTT complaints despite me being super quiet. I genuinely tried to get along for several months and played no music etc. always used headsets and any noise in that street came either from them themselves or other neighbours, yet they harrassed only me. One day, I had enough and for every bang on my wall or on my door, I cranked up the TV and stereo higher. I borrowed proper huge sound system speakers and held the party of all parties. Afterwards I told them that they had a choice, either back the fuck off or I would continue to give them a real reason to complain about noise. Shut down all of their bullying.

They're being unreasonable about the noise from your DS, but YABU about your tv.

Patently they can hear it or else why on earth would they be complaining. If you can hear what they are saying so distinctly then clearly the walls are very thin. Why not just mute it given you already have the subtitles on, or wear headphones.

I would stack paper egg cartons behind the TV if I could not move it.
The rest of the complaints are bullshit and I would complain to the leasing agent about them harassing you by pounding the walls and waking the baby.

Surely they are being more unreasonable by banging on the wall for nothing at all and waking up my baby. The telly wasn't on and we were all trying to sleep so they had no reason to be doing it.

The random banging and banging/shouting at your baby is unfair and wrong.

Your TV disturbing them is unfair and wrong.

so I wouldn't complain, unless they were being really unreasonable and it was affecting my day to day life, which it isn't

Except that the noise from your telly is affecting their day to day life because you watch it every night. So when they’re trying to wind down to go to sleep, you’re disturbing them.

Noise travels weirdly

I can hear the guy next door snoring!

At least don’t have the TV on in your bedroom, or use headphones.

Parkhead I would hope you would phone the police when he attacked his wife, rather than just using it as a reason to stop complaints about the TV.

OP there are three other walls in your bedroom, it is antisocial to use the joint one. Or watch telly on a tablet like most young people do.