To be upset about being made to get up this morning by oh?

[RuggyPeg]

I've lost all perspective about whether I'm being unreasonable or not. About many things in my relationship but this incident just happened.

We stayed overnight in a hotel. We both had a terrible night's sleep and got about 3 hours. Woke up early in the morning. He wanted to bounce out of bed and get going. I wanted another couple of hours of sleep. I wanted him to rest too. We had a 4 hour car drive ahead of us and didn't want him to be tired for it. He's a madman behind the wheel at the best of times and I spend most journeys terrified (huge argument if I dare say anything), so I didn't want him exhausted for it. He went mad, saying he wanted to get up and get going, I could sleep in the car (I can't, ever) and he was a nice guy & why did I always have to make him feel bad. He went on & on and made it unbearable, so as per usual, to keep the peace, I did what he wanted. I'm at a loss in general but do you think it was something I did that caused this argument?

We

There is no affection between us. We've had sex once in 6 months. We used to be so passionate but now, there's nothing really. We cuddle in bed but that's it. I've told him how it makes me feel but he just says I'm making out he's a bad guy again and he's sick of being criticised.

Let him go on holiday alone and make the break.

Don't go with him , OP.
Have your own holiday from him.
Breathe, reflect, leave him.

He says he's stressed about work, which he really is. I don't want to go into all the ins and outs but he is in a particularly stressed state at the minute. I'm absolutely not making excuses for him, I'm just stating a fact.

Do you live together?

Just because someone is good looking and wealthy doesn't make them a decent partner. He clearly isn't.
Is he over the limit when he is driving as he does? If so, don't get in a car with him behind the wheel.

No, we don't live together, we each have our own places. We've kind of been informally living together the last few weeks but I'm going back to mine after the holiday.

No, not over the limit. He's very careful about that.

I think the scales have totally fallen from your eyes. You have your own place that you're going back to, please end it. Move on from this ejit.

Dear OP,

Please tell yourself that you deserve better than being treated like this - made to feel permanently anxious and in the wrong.

He sounds like a nasty piece of work, unfortunately, and is never going to change. Why should you be miserable to make him happy?

Call the holiday off and start a new, happier time of your life without him.

Why are you going on holiday with him?

If he's such a catch then you yourself must be a catch! Ditch him and find somehow who doesn't made you miserable and you can have fun and a lie in with!

So go home, to your home, close the door

And never think about the git again.

Why did you get back with him?
What did you think had changed?

I'm not being facetious.

You went through the trauma of the split and the hurt and humiliation of him having cheated. How did he get you back?

I think this holiday will be the last you have. I know - it's easy to let time blur the pain and drift back together - but when I finally left I felt like I came back to life.

Don't go on the holiday, finish it and take back your life. He's a prize twat and you deserve much better.

He'd definitely be viewed as a catch

By who?

If he was such a catch, he'd have been snapped up. Nobody else wanted him. Not even his affair partner. You might think people don't see it, but they do. He's a sulky, arrogant, alcoholic cheat. That's not something many people can keep under wraps.

You're kidding yourself. Were your family and friends shocked when it ended originally? What was their reaction when you got back together?

Learn to say “no”

I think you would be safer if you stayed out of the car. He "insists" on driving - does he indeed.

We’ve only heard one anecdote about him but let’s just reiterate how he seems to us -
He’s a twat
He’s an alcoholic
He’s arrogant
He thinks he should be able to drive however he wants and everyone else will get out of the way if necessary
He’s a cheat
He’s a cuntweasel

You have -
Been walking around on egg shells
Avoided disagreeing because hell will rain down
Been blinded by the tall dark and handsome trope
Feel you should be grateful to be with him.

And if this described your best friend’s situation, what would you say to her.......?

Is he telling you he's a catch or did you come to that conclusion because he cheated?

You reconnected six months ago to try again?

You tried. It didn’t work. Walk away.

If abusers were abusive all the time there would never be a second date.

I've told him how it makes me feel but he just says I'm making out he's a bad guy again and he's sick of being criticised.
If you read "Why Does He DO That" you will find him in it.

"He's not hurting you; you're hurting him by saying he's hurting you."
is classic abuser tactic.

You have exactly described my ex, and me as yourself. My Ex is gone and I'm finally back to my confident self.

You can too, he is no good