To be upset about being made to get up this morning by oh?

[RuggyPeg]

I've lost all perspective about whether I'm being unreasonable or not. About many things in my relationship but this incident just happened.

We stayed overnight in a hotel. We both had a terrible night's sleep and got about 3 hours. Woke up early in the morning. He wanted to bounce out of bed and get going. I wanted another couple of hours of sleep. I wanted him to rest too. We had a 4 hour car drive ahead of us and didn't want him to be tired for it. He's a madman behind the wheel at the best of times and I spend most journeys terrified (huge argument if I dare say anything), so I didn't want him exhausted for it. He went mad, saying he wanted to get up and get going, I could sleep in the car (I can't, ever) and he was a nice guy & why did I always have to make him feel bad. He went on & on and made it unbearable, so as per usual, to keep the peace, I did what he wanted. I'm at a loss in general but do you think it was something I did that caused this argument?

We

Oh my god RUN RUN RUN

GET AWAY FROM HIM

Why are you doing this to yourself !?

I don't usually post on these types of threads but please don't go on holiday with him.

Use this time to put some distance between you both and cut all contact.

You'll feel the better of it.

Bin the knob.
Do yourself a favour for 2020.

Hes using your own fear against you but you've had a taste of freedom and you know you'll be better off alone. Next time he threatens you hold him to it and let him leave. Better yet dump him first.

Funny, I’ve posted a few times, questioning my partners behaviour and whether he’s a twunt or not and it’s very hard to see, when you are in it. So much so, that I still get confused now he’s being nice.
But when I read your post, what seems so innocuous actually isn’t, really. He does seem controlling- he wants his own way and goes on till he gets it. I know from past experience though, that it’s easy to say,’oh it’s just about driving, I’m being silly’ but it’s wonderful how people on here can spot the patterns buried in seemingly innocuous behaviour.

Then when I read that he’d had an affair it doesn’t seem so innocuous at all. I think the lady that said he’s got you back, so now he knows what he can gat away with is right. I suspect you will give in about the driving, and next time it will be about something else minor - maybe going out with the girls, and he’ll say,’but I thought we could watch a film...’ and before you know it, you’ll be not even questioning whether you can go out, but just assuming it will be difficult so you don’t bother.
It’s happened to me tonight - I thought I was tired so left my mates to eat out while I came home. Only later realised I was nervous of the reaction if I spent money and came in about 9.
Just saying.

Audi driver?

He sounds or should I say a complete utter arsehole and that is being nice. You can do a lot better. Walk away from the bastard. You have done nothing wrong at all

Why are you going on this holiday with him?

He's a total catch

You split up for two years? You should have stayed split up. He sounds like a complete knobhead. Do yourself a favour and dump him again.

Unless you had something to be home for then in situations like this I think compromise. I need more sleep than my husband, I go to bed earlier than normal when we sleep together in a hotel and he will get up and go for a run or go and have a leisurely breakfast while I get a bit more sleep.

It's not the argument that worries me it's the 'why have you always got to argue / make me feel bad' comment. Ie agree with me or I'll act hurt to guilt you into submission. Quite a manipulative way of arguing.

But from updates it doesnt sound like there is anything good about this relationship anyway

OP I was you two years ago . Leave him. Just leave him.

We're sat watching a film. He's cooked me dinner, got me a drink, checking I'm ok, he's just finishing the washing off. He's perfectly lovely and normal and nice. He's not a monster......if everything is going his way.

Oh listen to yourself OP

You can cook your own dinner, I’m sure.

If you want to walk on eggshells the rest of your life, go ahead I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only thing that may have been U was to give in to him! He sounds a right bastard IMHO. Obviously he must have some good qualities or you wouldn't be with him; but I have zero tolerance for dangerous and aggressive drivers. And doing so with his partner (you) in the car means that he doesn't care sufficiently about your safety and welfare, let alone other people on the road.

No. He is a twat.

Any cunt can make dinner and bring you a glass of wine.
Tell him no, and mean it.
And he can fuck off if he thinks he’s getting sec tonight.

*sex.

Damn autocorrect.

If I continue to stand up for myself, he just gets more & more irate and says it's over.

Good result, surely? Say "Fine, there's the door" and be grateful you are out of this.

And please, whatever you do, don't get in the car with a man who is going to drive at 90 mph.

Go home - and get rid. He's not worth it.

Maybe go to an alanon meeting - it might give you strength.

I'm not surprised the OW got rid of him when she saw the real him.
You are really getting nothing out of this. If you want companionship get a dog or cat!

Why Does He Do That?

Judge them on their worst behaviour not their best. It's classic abusive behaviour to become all charming afterwards. I couldn't see it for years when it happened to me but watching ExH do it to our son now it is heartbreaking to witness.

Set yourself free. He sounds dangerous.

“ He's a madman behind the wheel at the best of times and I spend most journeys terrified (huge argument if I dare say anything), ”

Please leave him right now. Never mind anything else. Before he kills you.

There is no affection between us. We've had sex once in 6 months. We used to be so passionate but now, there's nothing really. We cuddle in bed but that's it. I've told him how it makes me feel but he just says I'm making out he's a bad guy again and he's sick of being criticised.

Is anybody else making sense of this?
Op states they've been together for 15 years
He cheated and they had a clean break for 2 years.
They got back together 6months ago to try again.
There's no affection between them since they've got back together.

Do you have any thoughts about all the replies people have spent time giving you? Your shit boyfriends thoughts and opinions aren’t of any importance to the world, what do you want and prioritise and demand from life?

Lovely as long as everything is going his way...