Would you date someone who had a coldsore in the past?

[Onewardsup]

YABU - no
YANBU - yes

Not talking an active one and a date right now, just someone that gets them, maybe just one coldsore (so Herpes), a year, 2 years, 5 years ago!

And yes I have another thread to those who have read it. Just wanting a poll, thanks.

Errr it wouldn't even occur to me to ask. I've always had cold sores and DH has never got them. Almost everyone is a carrier of the virus anyway and unless you've lived a very chaste life you've almost certainly kissed someone who gets them.

Drum yes. I had one 2 years ago, after being raped, on my genital area. Never had one since. I Dared to venture into dating again, which was a mistake as I was honest and have been rejected on that basis. I just wanted to know the consensus.

Coughy funnily enough I am a bit obsessed, I am struggling, I will make a psychiatrists appointment on Monday don’t want to bother her over the weekend and Mumsnet is where I’ve always come to for support in other matters. It’s part of the remit.

And please, before I get shouted at Herpes is Herpes, you can get it on the lips, private’s, eyes, arms! Same virus, various strains but all are transferable to different places on the body.

Thanks Whip, isn’t obsessing over mother in laws, social media and parking spaces weird? Maybe I am weird, or maybe I’m just hurting, and need to keep my head above water until I see my psychiatrist.

I get the occasional cold sore, in fact just reading this thread will probably mean I get one now. I usually put a bit of Zovirax on and get on with my life. Am I actually supposed to go into quarantine?

In fairness OP it would have been better to add that information to your initial post.
That is genital herpes as opposed to a cold sore which I know comes from the same virus but it isn’t quite the same thing ? but I’m not a medical professional

Gardai it is the same thing, same symptoms. Half of all genital cases are caused by the herpes found on the lips. Half from a different strain that causes a coldsore exactly the same, and can be passed to the lips.

I didn’t add it because I knew that lack of knowledge would skew the vote. Probably should have.

What the fuck?
I’d never even think to consider it.
I’ve had cold sores since I was probably 7/8. Should I spend my life on the shelf?

Anyone who wouldn't date someone who has had coldsores would likely also not date anyone who has had warts, suffers with depression or anxiety, has kids, has psoriasis or any other inconvenience. Basically, most of the population...

I don’t think it’s the same thing. I am hoping someone with medical knowledge can clarify this. I used to get cold sores as a kid due to a fondness for ice pops in the winter. Not herpes related.

Yes! When I dated I never asked, "Have you ever had a herpes?". I do however know my husband, whom I met in 1973 and married in 1975, did say he'd had one, and a sty, some years previously when he was a student, he was told he was 'run down'. I never saw him have one and I have never had a herpes, either up or down.

I remember my mum getting a couple when I was a child.

God MN is turning into the fucking twilight zone
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Even children get cold sores, they do not need to be linked to sexual activity. If you had chicken pox (and most people had) you may get cold sores at certain points in your life or develop herpes on your skin in old age.

OP you got some really good advice on your previous thread about this. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through - I really think you would benefit from some professional support to help you work through this.

I selected YABU instead of YANBU sorry - I read the question wrong initially and got trigger happy (maybe others have done the same thing when replying to the poll?). If I was single it definitely wouldn't put me off dating someone if they had a cold sore. I'm married to someone who gets them. Sorry to hear about what you've been through.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has never had one.

I get coldsores, I've never had anyone interrogate me over my infectious disease. I've been with my husband 15 years and have 2 children, I'm the only person who gets them in our house. I will admit I do lecture my parents on being careful around my young children not to pass it on (I caught it from my parents). It isn't a big deal when I get one, I just use my own towel and cup, don't kiss anyone and wash my hands religiously.

I wouldn't knowingly date someone with genital herpes though, although it's the same virus it's a slightly different strain.

Wtf is this even a thing?!

I've had cold sores since childhood and get them once a year/once every two years. I'm married with DC and it's never been an issue.

Seriously wtf!

YABU

Sorry, I was confused by the voting system.

YANBU

Oh for goodness sake. What I mean is yes, of course. It's a really strange thing not to date someone over!

Oops wrong thread. Erm, yep, most people have cold sores

Really good luck Monday op and sorry to read your update.
I was struggling to understand why this would even start to be something you’d think about but it makes sense that for you (and others) this might/may/does have greater resonance.
Think this thread tells you almost all wouldn’t think twice and that it is very common.

Cohle I did and I will, though as I said everyone professional I’ve spoken to has said forget it and don’t talk about it, but my moral compass is so high that isn’t for me.

Chocolate it really isn’t you know, 50% of cases are the same strain. And can I ask, when the symptoms are the same why would you date one and not the other?

I think that’s what I am struggling with, this mass belief of “coldsore on the lips” - don’t talk about it, totally dateable.

“Coldsore on the genitals” - must tell, basically a leper.

But no on can verbalise to me why.

I had cold sores when growing up, always in the corner of my mouth and happened in cold weather and I did do a lot of outdoor sport. Never had any since but It doesn’t really matter what the cause was as I probably have the virus anyway. Makes me wonder about stats in the over 50s 🤔

I’ve dated a guy with a visible small but healing cold sore on his mouth. He didn’t even know that it was related to the herpes virus and that he shouldn’t be kissing anyone, just that he’d got some cream to help it.

As far as the genital form goes and HSV2, well it’s like any STIs really, in that in a new relationship ideally you have a chat about any potential risk on both sides before having sex. For me it’s best to start from a mutual position of trust and respect if I want it to go anywhere. If a guy who I really fancy has or has had something or other I’d at least learn the facts. I don’t see this one as being a problem as long as it’s well managed.

Btw is everyone getting an ad for Lipivir on the side of this thread? .

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has never had one
How on earth would you know?