Friend asking to move in, WWYD?

[kwazycupcakes]

Morning everyone, has anyone else has been in a similar situation and could share their opinion please?.

DH and I are 30 and own our own home (mortgage). We have a spare bedroom. Some of our friends are in different places in their lives e.g. single or living with parents. That is fine with us, we never bring it up (although they do a few times).

We've had two different friends ask to temporarily move in with us.

Friend 1 - Lived with parents and was saving up for a deposit to rent a house, but was struggling due to all their bills (new car on finance, rent to parents etc). They knew we were decorating our spare bedroom and everytime they came over they kept asking if we'd finished decorating and hinting that if they moved in for two months they would save enough money for a deposit. Everytime they came over they would hint and asked directly a few times.

Friend 2 - Not great with money, new car on finance and latest tech gadgets etc. Has just moved into a family members caravan as it is rent free and they can sort their finances out. Caravan site closes for 6 weeks in January, so they have just asked if they can move in with us for 6 weeks.

Both of them expected to stop with us rent/bill free. And both of them expected us to say yes and that it wouldn't be a problem.

AIBU to say no? DH and I are not rich and have worked hard and saved to get to a point where we can own a house with a spare bedroom. We don't have new cars or latest tech, and we save money every month to work on the house. We are both introverts and appreciate our own space.

Also might be relevant that we are TTC so we hope the bedroom won't be 'spare' for long.

Just say no their debt their problem

The best answers include the words “It does NOT work us”. “We like our privacy after work hours” “It is a struggle to pay the utilities - we don’t want to use extra water/heating”. “We want to enjoy OUR home by ourselves before we have a family”. “To be honest, it is just not big enough to divide up - one small bedroom is not suitable for ‘house sharing’ we like our home to ourselves, we saved so hard to get it and do not want other people in our kitchen/living space”. No amount of rent could compensate for our lack of privacy - we just don’t want a lodger”. Don’t discuss it just wish them well in finding a house share

Not something I'd want to get involved in to be honest, can ruin friendships and put strain on your own relationship. Too much potential for deadlines to be extended or liberties to be taken, especially as you'd be paying extra for utilities they'd be using or feel guilty asking them to leave

I’d say

Thanks for offering, we are making do at the moment and don’t need the extra cash from subletting, while the extra £xxx a month from that room would be nice, having our own personal space is worth more than that to us at this stage of life

I would announce that the spare bedroom is now a study/sewing room etc. What CFs!

Fruitcake.. yes I did tell him he had just scoffed several servings that were meant for the freezer. I never offered again.

Posted too soon. I was upstairs b/ f DS and could smell him heating up the whole pan which was cooling for the freezer, came downstairs to find half of it gone

They're having a laugh! Rent free 🤣

Stuff that. No bloody way, the scrounging buggers!

I think you need some assertiveness practice. Both were CFs and I am amazed you did not either laugh the suggestions off immediately or put them straight. Considering the suggestions make you seem like soft touches and prone to be taken advantage of.

Cheeky fuckers

I had a cheeky fucker friend when I was heavily pregnant. She needed somewhere to stay because she had fallen out with her mum. I said that's fine come and stay with us (we were skint, husband had just lost his job and I was self employed and had to stop work for medical reasons) said a few days wouldn't be a problem. 3 weeks later (3 weeks before I'm due to give birth) she's still there. I said we would need money for food/gas/electric but it never ever appeared. She was told to leave when she brought 2 random men back 2 weeks before I was due to give birth. We haven't spoken since.

She was on an air bed on the floor in the newly decorated nursery for impending arrival yet decided it would be a good idea to bring 2 strangers back to my house for a 3some. Who does that.