Friend asking to move in, WWYD?

[kwazycupcakes]

Morning everyone, has anyone else has been in a similar situation and could share their opinion please?.

DH and I are 30 and own our own home (mortgage). We have a spare bedroom. Some of our friends are in different places in their lives e.g. single or living with parents. That is fine with us, we never bring it up (although they do a few times).

We've had two different friends ask to temporarily move in with us.

Friend 1 - Lived with parents and was saving up for a deposit to rent a house, but was struggling due to all their bills (new car on finance, rent to parents etc). They knew we were decorating our spare bedroom and everytime they came over they kept asking if we'd finished decorating and hinting that if they moved in for two months they would save enough money for a deposit. Everytime they came over they would hint and asked directly a few times.

Friend 2 - Not great with money, new car on finance and latest tech gadgets etc. Has just moved into a family members caravan as it is rent free and they can sort their finances out. Caravan site closes for 6 weeks in January, so they have just asked if they can move in with us for 6 weeks.

Both of them expected to stop with us rent/bill free. And both of them expected us to say yes and that it wouldn't be a problem.

AIBU to say no? DH and I are not rich and have worked hard and saved to get to a point where we can own a house with a spare bedroom. We don't have new cars or latest tech, and we save money every month to work on the house. We are both introverts and appreciate our own space.

Also might be relevant that we are TTC so we hope the bedroom won't be 'spare' for long.

Definitely no way, bloody cheek wanting to move in rent free. Once their in they won't move out. You hve worked hard to buy ur hse if their irresponsible with their own money thats their problem. It sounds like they see u as a soft touch to even suggest moving in rent free.

One certain way to end a friendship ! Bloody cheek. If it was your kids l could understand ...it’s a real cheek otherwise.

No.

If F1 was serious about finding somewhere to live they'd either not be bothering with the car or would have got something cheap and cheerful and done what else they could to reduce their bills so they could save a deposit - they reckon they can save it in 2 months without paying rent.. the same probably applies to other cost cutting they should put in place first.

F2 has had free accommodation for some time. They know its coming to an end and instead of looking for a flatshare or a lodgings they are expecting YOU to put them up for free.

Refer them both to spareroom.co.uk so they can find someone who does want to rent them a room... it won't be free though

Don't entertain the idea

PS that said, I did put a friend up in my spare room some years ago for about 4 weeks. However in his case, his marriage had ended in a very nasty and sudden way (he found his wife in their bed with another man) and he was effectively homeless. He did find himself somewhere within a few weeks though I carried on storing some of his stuff for a couple of months after that

Difference was, he'd had no chance to plan but it sounds like F1 and F2 have had many opportunities. Make it clear you are not plan A or B or C.. or even d to z!!

I had a now former friend trying to rent my spare bedroom. That would have given her rights over space, but in a weird way because of the friendship. I firmly said no. If I need to rent it out, will be on purely business status. The thing with the room wasn’t the reason friendship ended btw. That is another long story.

"No. It'll just make naked Fridays really awkward".

Job done

I'd be more inclined to help Friend 2 on the understanding they pay rent, share of bills and are definitely moving back into the caravan in 6 weeks. It's quite possible it's one of those mobile home sites with 11 months a year residents (not holiday park) so could be true. However, hard to say yes if you've said no to the other friend and they know each other so easiest thing is a flat no can do.

Absolutely not rent-free that's so cheeky, but if a friend was willing to contribute, didn't seem too bad to live with and I didn't need the spare room (e.g. no kids) then I would. Of course not the same at all as OP's situation, these friends are trying to mug her off.

Rainbunny I had exactly the same with my DB... If he helped himself to food he would take masses of the meat dish and when I pointed out veg/pasta he would say "oh Im happy with just meat"...yes a huge amount that would of fed us quite a few meals

My sister moved in with us for six weeks. She was there for five years, be warned, say no.

A sure fire way to end a friendship I would say. They are already being cheeky before they have even moved in!

If he helped himself to food he would take masses of the meat dish and when I pointed out veg/pasta he would say "oh Im happy with just meat"...yes a huge amount that would of fed us quite a few meals

And did you say something? I mean, FFS, it's your brother! 'NO! You don't get to take all the meat! Everyone gets the same amount of meat!' And take it back off him or just dish up. My son has ASD and tries to do this. His sister just snatches the dish back if he's hogging it and I didn't catch it. He knows damn well he's supposed to share it out.

Just say no. It's not as though they were in desperate need; it's just more convenient for them.

Rent free? Hahahahahha.
No.

Ask them would they keep filling the petrol tank up in their cars & let you use them for a couple of months while they also pay the finance on the car.

We had the CF who came for a night and spent six weeks and some people asking us to pay their rental deposit on their behalf as they were struggling to transfer the money. Neither of them were anything more than acquaintances, with the former, exH had to pay for the deposit of his new flat otherwise I would have put both of them on the street.

Honestly, proper friends are not so cheeky.

A big fat NO!!!

Really and truly, you don't owe anyone a reason why. Ever. Just no. It's the same when CFs try to get free child pick up or after school care, or anything else. Just "no, that wouldn't work for us". Perfect phrase, easy to memorize, useful for many, many circumstances.

Friends or parasites?

No!!!

Just laugh and say no that wouldn't work for us, we like our own space to just be ourselves .

I'm with the majority - say NO, absolutely not - if the Cheeky 'friends' have the neck to push for a reason, just be blunt and tell them that you have saved to buy a house instead of spending money on new cars, tech, living it up rent-free at other people's expense and that you like your current living arrangement and neither of you want a lodger even if it was a friend. Wish them luck finding suitable accommodation but stick to your guns - you are not a free hotel, and any adult wanting to plant their cheeky arse somewhere rent-free is bang our of order - freeloading bastards.

If they are thick, persistent, thick-skinned etc...leave a notepad with

A: costings for locally-rented properties...

Deposit = £1,000 + 3 months rent in advance
Room rent = £100+ per week
Food costs -= £50+ per week
Utilities = £50+ per week
Anything else you can think of = £bloody expensive!

B: A link to a Mumsnet thread where everyone thinks they should not doss freely in your spare room and should grow up and learn to manage their finances better or put things like rent/mortgage above treats

Good luck and I wish you and your husband all the best in trying for a baby - hopefully a cute little bundle of joy will soon be occupying that currently spare room and it will make a wonderful nursery.

What a pair of cheeky sods! Even when I was renting, there was no way on earth that I’d ask to move into a friend's property. Most definitely not for free either! Good grief! The biggest concern I'd have is that it could well spoil that special relationship with my friends and they’re too precious for that. I once shared a house with a best friend and it was a humungous mistake. She flirted even more outrageously,(wearing such short nighties that you could just about see her pubic hair as she walked past). I asked if she could wear knickers, pyjama bottoms or maybe a dressing gown on top, to maintain her modesty, whenever she came down through the lounge to get to the kitchen, on several occasions to maintain her modesty, but she deliberately ignored me.

When we became engaged, her extremely poor hearing suddenly had a miraculous improvement, however! It was strangely selective though. Whenever I very quietly whispered something to do with the wedding, and what type and how many bottles we needed of Champagne, I was quite frankly amazed that she could actually hear us! However, when we whispered anything to do with adding food or cleaning stuff to the normal grocery list, even whispering extremely quietly, with the TV on at the same volume.

It wasn’t just my DF that she’d done this to either. She had a history of deliberately flirting with other female friend’s boyfriends too. Most told her in no uncertain terms to f... o... Those that didn’t, were ditched. We used to call it ‘The (provocative girl’s name) test’!
Isn’t that the only time when the best reputable painter that you can find, is coming to paint all the gloss and emulsion paint in your house, and he wants to paint/varnish the doors flat? Isn’t one of your grandparents (or another relative) is coming to stay?

Oh my goodness!!!!! No! Of course you are not being unreasonable at all! Would you even want them if they were paying rent? I would never personally want anybody else living in our home regardless of paying rent or otherwise - make it clear to them to stop hinting because it will literally never happen in a million years - please feel confident that you are 100% not being unreasonable - they are for even thinking it xx

Just say no. Rent free?! CFs.

Even if I needed a place to stay, I would be paying them market rate.