To think my daughter shouldn't have to share a room with a boy!

[GColdtimer]

Because if you are in Oxfordshire, the council thinks schools should facilitate mixed sex dorm rooms for residential trips, as well as allowing mixed sex loos, changing rooms and sports.

It's on this thread thread

YADNBU.

When are safeguarding leads going to wake up to this?

Yanbu. It makes me very angry.

YADNBU. As a teacher and a parent this breaks all safeguarding training.

So OP is she actually going on a trip where a trans girl will be going, and your daughter has been asked and will be sharing with that child? Or is this just another frothing at the mouth over something that hasn’t happened? And odds of your daughter being in the situ is NIL given that you/ she can say that she wouldn’t want tondo this? I’m presuming the said transgirl has friends who would be happy to share as kids generally are more accepting than adults and hadn’t been ostracised...

this just another frothing at the mouth over something that hasn’t happened?

This has happened. It's currently unpublicised. I also personally know of this situation occurring in scouts, but no link to any trans identities. The mother was asked what she wanted to happen but I've since pointed out that her daughter can now potentially become pregnant and she's reconsidering for future camps.

Using the words frothing etc do not wash when it comes to safeguarding.

There's a specific safeguarding course on not being distracted by such dismissive attitudes as this is exactly how abusers work and how safeguarding fails.

This is a really difficult one. If this does actually come into force: I think that the parents of the other children should be consulted before a decision on the sleeping arrangements etc are made. Regarding the children whose parents don't want to have their children sleep in the same room as a trans child, they should sleep in a same sex only dormitory.

I don't think anyone has an issue with people transitioning but I can't help but feel that nobody has any real solutions for the obvious problems. Those being the changing rooms, toilets, prisons etc. Across the board, society is becoming more progressive but people still need to feel safe and secure in these spaces and I myself don't have any idea how you strike this balance.

YANBU. I would go absolutely apeshit if this happened with my two DDs, without my knowledge or consent. What's happening is insane. Literally. The very definition of insane. Why is basic safeguarding going out the window on this trans stuff? Be on your guard mums!

I think this policy is totally wrong.

Leaving aside the issue of the feelings of the parents of the girls/the girls themselves as that has already been raised, if I had a male-female transgender child and still in possession of a penis there is no way on this earth I would allow them to sleep in the female dorm on a school residential because of the risk of them being open to allegations of sexual misconduct.

Even without the issues of trans young people, scouts are allowed to have mixed tents. Most groups have probably tried to keep the tents separate in the past but it is not against their rules.

As far as I know The trans kids in the school I work in change in the gender neutral staff loos (one cubicle w hand dryer, sink etc). They do not get changed with either boys or girls.
IMO if you still have the sex organs you are born with, you are still scientifically that sex, whatever you want to identify as personally.

Part of the problem is that kind people accepting 'oh we've known susie since she was six, it will be fine' leads to a weakening of scrutiny and more problematic situations arising without anyone noticing.

The guidance used to be clear, and there was no room for error/judgement.

Betty - v good point.

@Timmythatyou

*Using the words frothing etc do not wash when it comes to safeguarding.

There's a specific safeguarding course on not being distracted by such dismissive attitudes as this is exactly how abusers work and how safeguarding fails*

Have a proper think about this before you pour scorn over people trying to protect the rights of girls.

Posting with an inflammatory thread title in AIBU is a bit off OP.

You are involved in the campaigning on this, and that’s fine of course, but using click bait thread titles to muster support for your cause is borderline manipulative and misleading.

Also there’s already a thread in FWR on this exact topic.

If this does actually come into force

It's already in force.

Regarding the children whose parents don't want to have their children sleep in the same room as a trans child, they should sleep in a same sex only dormitory.

That's not an option because a) parents aren't asked/told and b) it would be considered transphobic by Mermaids et al who advise schools on their inclusion policies.

When you say in force, what do you mean exactly?

FFSFFSFFS

I read Timmy's post slightly differently - in that 'frothing' is a dismissive attitude that needs to be ignored as pandering to it - by being scared of speaking up - helps abusers to flourish.

Timmythatyou I’m not the OP, but I am a mother in the opposite situation. The week after next, I have to go meet with school to make sure that my 14 year old DD who currently identifies as a boy won’t be sharing sleeping accommodation and showering with a bunch of teen boys (all strangers to me- she may or may not know some of the children in whichever group she is allocated).

Some parents might be comfortable with this, but I am absolutely not. Unfortunately, many schools follow this guidance or similar (in Scotland it is the LGBT Youth Scotland Guidance to Schools). Let’s not use the word ”frothing” please- the more people who know this is a very real situation, the better.

*sharing accommodation etc on an upcoming school trip.

Pretending that sex doesn't exist or matter, and that there is no need for single sex provision will not end well.

If accommodation/provision is clearly known to be 'mixed sex', that's another matter. But pretending single sex provision while muddling sex and gender and effectively making a mixed sex space is opening up a whole mess of potential issues that surely don't need spelling out.

How's it an inflammatory title? How would you prefer it was phrased?

Educational Visits Co ordinator here. I asked our local council about this about 5 years ago. They basically laughed at me and said, well that’s not going to happen. Last year I did my refresher training and there on the guidance given to schools is just that. It’s happened by stealth and it’s a scandal.

what are we thinking is going to happen?

that the trans child would end up bullied?