Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

Ah. Thanks. Using an iPhone.

Your collegues sound jealous and insecure.

I haven’t but I have received comments from male colleagues about wearing too much makeup.
Before someone assumes I went to work made up like Kim Kardashian; I just wore mascara, eyebrow pencil, lipstick and powder foundation. But they said to stop wearing powder because it was making me look too much like wearing a mask and ‘natural was better’. I still wore it because it’s my face and my skin and I wanted to feel confident (suffered from bad acne for years).

astralweaks

So am I

But it’ll still depend how you have decided to set up MN in your settings

Photos now deleted afaict.

I would love to see the photos - can someone describe them please ?

Were these photos of Dolly Parton?

I think the op was being jokey in her posts but lots aren't getting it, ie the bit about being competitive and that she posted after that she was joking but lots can't see/read it as 2/3 pages later, they noticed that comment and many have piled on with the pa digs that she mentioned in her op.

Oh well op you have proved what you asked about.

I think some of your comments have been taken the wrong way when you have been jokey but I think I see that as one of my friends talks in the same style as you. I suspect we all read things in a different tone. Others have a different take.

That's okay but Aibu is always the wrong place for this type of discussion. Hence the poster who agreed that your ex was right. There are always people who bring other people down.

Also quite a few have wrote about you maybe not fitting in and the need to fit in. Who cares if you don't fit in? The outliers and the ones not fitting in do not need or want any comments. I don't actually think that humans are that much of a pack animal, I just think the majority are too scared to not fit into which ever group they find themselves in. Why? I have never got that need to fit in and the need to pull others back into line. What harm is it to you if there are people not fitting into whatever style your workplace has?

Also the comment about the op making an effort outside but slobbing at home and that this shows that it is done for others and not for herself.
What bull, it's entirely normal to change into pj's or other clothes at home, it's how I and most people I know were brought up.

Anyway op, continue to be yourself. To the people who think the op was snippy, yes she probably started to be (I don't know the tone that her replies were typed with) but read the entire thread and see the butch comments and pa digs.

I think she was being jokey about the tights also but hey, what do I know?

Bitch not butch.

@TheStuffedPenguin one was a black and white checked dress, black blazer and red heels, the other a black asymmetric skirt, white top and gold heels. Both with nude tights. Very inoffensive outfits that wouldn't look out of place in a lot of offices!

Red heels and gold heels in an office ?

Really don't see a problem with red heels for the office. A pop of colour in an otherwise black and white outfit.

I have had a similar experience. I was eating lunch at a conference, wearing a nice brooch which I had picked out as it went with the conference theme. A woman at the table asked me pointedly " why are you wearing that brooch?" As if to state that I should not be making the effort.

I definitely saw photos of Dolly Parton early on in the thread. And the OP said she was more Jane Fonda.

One well-placed expensive accessory during salary negotiations can work wonders

This is such a load of bollocks.

I saw the photos and all I saw was a very attractive figure in smart office type clothes. If she turned up to my office dressed in those clothes she wouldn't look at all out of place but would maybe be one of the more smarter dressed of my colleagues. I sometimes wear similar stuff but maybe slightly less formal, I tend to wear more midi dresses /jersey dresses and long boots or courts or smart trouser/blouse combo. We don't need to wear smart jackets where I work. I work for a lawyer though. If she worked with me I'd be complimenting her on what she wore.

@Wauden - I have 2 theories for you:

1 - she thought you were a spy, and that you were recording from your secret spy brooch

2 - she was worried that you were going to squirt water at her with your clown brooch.

Sounds like a very strange and confronting moment at a conference.

Why do you think mustard tights= dressing badly?
Do you feel threatened by colleagues who don’t wear high heels and pencil skirts?

Coloured tights always remind me of Gudrun and Ursula in Women in Love. Oh to be mildly eccentric and a little quirky.

Oooh. I had those in the 80s.
Not a fan of mustard now, but it's because it doesn't suit me.
Navy feels like uniform to me and very old fashioned. I'm not even going to say anything about animal print.
Tastes differ. It doesn't make any better or worse.

Ha, ha Lweji my look in the 80s was navy skirt, smart navy cardigan, pie crust collar, brightly matching scarf (emerald, fuschia, royal blue) often with matching brightly coured tights. Never heels. Was my work "uniform" for much of the decade.

It's all been said on this thread, but just to mention there was a man in my very casually dressed workplace who always wore a suit. He came in on day one in the suit and we all felt for him, he's not the first, but he kept coming in in a suit. After about 9 months of it, especially when he'd found his feet in the job and was acting like a manager (he wasn't) the suit really labelled what it was about it that was so annoying. He acted like the boss of us. I know this isn't the same! But this guy would interrupt us and act as though his completely irrelevant to the job experience and qualifications made him the master of execution of his current role. I like to think I don't care what people wear but his decision to keep on wearing a suit despite the fact that those who knew the job inside out were in jeans really did trigger me!

Why do you think mustard tights= dressing badly?

Because I don't want to look like a garden gnome?

goddessOfTransformativeWrath

If the guy wanted to dress well, let him off. If he was an arsehole besides, that's a whole 'nother story.

Red heels and gold heels in an office ?

Beats mustard tights!

I definitely saw photos of Dolly Parton early on in the thread. And the OP said she was more Jane Fonda.

Had you a point to make with this post?