Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

Well I don't work anywhere where mustard tights are de mode.

It’s à la mode. Démodé is something else.

Pmsl

I really have riled some of you in your mustard tights lol

I have no intention of changing how I dress. My post wasn't about that. It was whether others who dressed well received similar sly digs.

Fochit wins the thread though for agreeing that I needed a beating hahaha.

What I want to project is that I'm 100% professional with a wild side that I tame between the hours of 9 and 5
So you like the attention by giving off the wild side yet say you dress for yourself. Okay.
I also think it is your personality and attitude that creates friction with colleagues.

I dress well op. Not as you do but well and no I don't get sly digs, probably because I got noticed due to my commitment and quality of my work rather than my work wardrobe and became the boss. I judge my staff on the quality of their work and my two star performers with the best client relations are not very interested in clothes.

Real style imo is about being restrained enough in your 20s and 30s vis a vis heels to be able to present a perfectly formed foot in nothing more than a slither of sandal aged 60. It's as much about respecting your body as it is about showing it off.

There is no friction with colleagues. Can someone who actually dresses well comment please? I feel like I'm surrounded by mustard tights here.

with a wild side that I tame between the hours of 9 and 5
Didn't you mention you dont socialise after work and get in your jammie's immediately for comfort.
Show them your real wild size wear your onesie to work. 🤣

Can someone who actually dresses well comment please?
Lots of posters did though you missed it obviously concentrating on yourself.

I thought you were bare legged. So your tights at least are a masterpiece!

There is no friction with colleagues. Can someone who actually dresses well comment please? I feel like I'm surrounded by mustard tights here.
Lots of people have.

Are you troll-hunting ginger? Last I heard that was a sackable offence.

You lost me over the curry house business. We lived in London for 30 odd years and regularly went to the starred restaurants. Still do with DH's clients. Mostly people are smart casual and it's the same at Covent Garden, Wimbledon, etc, nowadays.

I'm not sure heels and tight skirts extrapolate to dressing well although they certainly represent dressing up. I'm also somewhat askance re dress code being part of an annual review.

This!

They don’t like other women to look nice at work

Why do people perpetuate this bullshit?!

My younger self would have been sneery about you trying hard because I felt so inadequate myself and would have been envious.

I dress well (though how would you know as you can’t see me?) and was noted for it at my last workplace. Nobody ever said anything snide to me; it was daily compliments and ‘I wish I had your style’ or people saying they’d bought something similar after being inspired by something I had. I can’t see your pictures as they’ve been taken down, but I can tell you that I never wore heels and it was a casual environment. I really don’t agree with the idea that women are just snarky jealous bitches - I worked in a very female-centric office with 40 women and they were all lovely to me about my clothes, and nobody made mean remarks about the woman who wore pencil dresses either, because she and I were both tastefully dressed, just different to the others.

I think it comes down to taste. The others at your work don’t think you have taste. This is of course entirely subjective, but they think you look overdone rather than stylish. That’s nothing to do with them just being bitches; it’s their opinion and you’re free to ignore it.

I'd rather die than wear coloured tights ffs. Have you no taste?

Do posters still think the OPs dress sense is the issue?

Do posters still think the OPs dress sense is the issue?
Not at all. I hope OP comes to the conclusion it is not her style causing snarky comments.

For the record, I never said that anyone was a bitch. Other posters may have said that, but I did not.

Can someone who actually dresses well comment please?

You don't strike me as someone who listens to others opinions but I dress nicely (in my eyes) & get lots of compliments. Yes I've had the are you always shopping, do you wear the same twice etc. So what, I do shop a lot & mix it up.

OP, I'm going to say a few things with the best possible intentions and meant as constructive criticism.

You are coming across as very defensive and even aggressive, without a good reason and in face of fair comments.

I've posted a few questions that you have not answered, but instead went on a rant or replied something that didn't answer them. I hope that is not an indication of your professionalism, because if you are like this at work, then you're not a good professional.

There is a problem if you think dressing as you do is an indication of your professionalism. I thought you dressed for yourself, as you said initially.
And there's a problem in your workplace if wearing heels, for example, is valued over more comfortable shoes. This is not a criticism of you, but of workplace. You said the dress code is meant for a specific group, so I asked how your colleagues are evaluated compared to you, but you avoided answering that specific question. How are your colleagues assessed compared to you? And if they dress apropriately, but more casually, do you think is fair if they are given poorer assessments? If such unfairness exists in the office, it could explain some of the bitterness regarding how you dress. In any case, don't you think women should be considered good professionals regardless of heels and skirts?

Finally, I hope for your sake you don't address people that are not your boss in the office as you did in this thread. You may think you tame it in the office, but it will be very transparent to others, I suspect. We often give away a lot more than we think we do through body language and tone of voice.

Is it possible that you have low self esteem and are over compensating through how you dress?
I only see this kind of defensiveness in people who aren't very confident and use it as a defensive mechanism. Confident people will listen to what people have to say and evaluate what they said. They don't just thank positive feedback and turn nasty on critics.

Anyway, I hope I've given you food for thought. In any case, best wishes in your job.