To think that this is incredibly irresponsible parenting?

[Dailydup]

DP is part of a large friend group, mostly made up of middle class professional couples all in their 30s who have young children and all socialise together regularly. DP and I were invited along to a New Year’s Eve party at one of the friend’s houses. It was made clear that all of the children were welcome and the host had got lots of party things in for the kids to enjoy whilst there. DP and I have no DC, but the majority of the other friends all brought their children along to play together.

Whilst there, I was shocked when one of DP’s friends called me in to the bathroom and casually offered me some cocaine. I’d been oblivious to the fact that they’d been regularly sneaking in to the bathroom to do this throughout the night and that DP and I were actually the only two not partaking in the drug taking. Once I became aware of what was going on I felt extremely uncomfortable being there and asked DP if we could go home, meaning we left before midnight. I should point out that DP and I have been together just over a year, so I don’t know his friend group particularly well but would never have suspected them of this. The majority of them are highly successful, well educated and appear on the outside to be doting parents.

When we left I told DP how shocked and disgusted I was that they had been taking drugs in the presence of and whilst responsible for caring for their young children. DP seemed v blasé and said that they do it regularly at social gatherings and always ensure its done away from the DC (i.e. by sneaking in to the toilet ) so doesn’t see the problem. AIBU in thinking that this is utterly irresponsible parenting and possibly even a matter for social services to investigate?

8 tons of cocaine are consumed by just Londoners per year. They had a program on Sky news about it.

something of the plant variety may help to relax a few though

Dear god no . My hypothyroid brain cells are slow enough as it is, thanks. I'm already drippy at parties and incredibly late to catch the joke.

Although I guess I might care less about it so.....maybe

@TryingToBeBold

Unfortunately you will always be judged by the company you keep. Also in this case the DP was blasé about the whole situation & hadn’t even thought to warn the OP that his friends were all druggies.

Omg! I must have led a very sheltered life. I’m a middle class professional and have never even seen cocaine let alone taken it. I can’t imagine any of my friends doing this either. Am absolutely gobsmaked that people would do this while at a family type party with their children there. I hosted a similar party at new year and there was definitely no drugs! Some people were driving so not drinking at all. Others had a few drinks, but no one was obviously drunk. We all had a really good time. I just can’t understand some people at all. There is no part of me that thinks taking recreational drugs is right - particularly not when children are around. The mind boggles.

There's a huge difference between alcohol - which is legal and doesn't have a hugely complicated, damaging trade like drugs - and class A drugs.

When it comes to impairment of parenting skills I don't think there is a huge difference at all. If there's any difference I'd choose someone addled on cocaine. You're likely to be less badly impaired on too much cocaine, which at least keeps you alert, than on too much alcohol, which stupefies you.

@FiddlesticksAkimbo

So you’re ok with someone who is complicit in the torture and murder of children looks after your child (because every single cocaine user IS complicit in this)?

I would not let such a morally-empty and heartless fuckwit look after my kids. But you would apparently....,,

And you’re making a ridiculous point anyway - no responsible parent would ever leave their children with either a drunk person, or one under influence of drugs FFS.

@FiddlesticksAkimbo would you rather take the risk of a parent having a stroke or a heart attack from a line rather than be tipsy from a glass of plonk?

@strongmummy How is she tearing families apart?

These "parents" aren't protecting there children! Where are the responsible adults? When the parents get so high they become immobile that they leave drugs/alcohol lying around; is that down to poster? These people have taken zero precautions in protecting their own children therefore they are fucking up!! THE PARENTS ARE BEING IDIOTS!!

It's irresponsible but no more than drinking alcohol. Personally I would never touch drugs but I certainly had too much alcohol on occasion (rarely admittedly but I'm not saying never)

Hi @Scautish
So you’re ok with someone who is complicit in the torture and murder of children looks after your child (because every single cocaine user IS complicit in this)?
That's some projecting!

Hi @Fizzypoo
would you rather take the risk of a parent having a stroke or a heart attack from a line rather than be tipsy from a glass of plonk?
I wouldn't get very alarmed over either of those risks to the child or parent to be honest. Read my post - it was about over-consumption.

It's irresponsible but no more than drinking alcohol.

Utter bullshit FFS.

You’re a genuine numpty if you believe that. Go read up about the horrors of the cocaine industry.

I would definitely call social services if I knew parents were in charge of kids doing drugs, I have seen the devastation as a wife of a paramedic that drugs can cause.
Load of utter crap that its no different from booze, its a bloody darned sight different! I actually love my kids, so no, wouldn't go near folk who would be in charge of a child and get high, blitzed, whatever the hell its called. Its dangerous, and bloody stupid, and often only done by those who are so dreadfully boring or unhappy with their lives they need to take something to feel anything.
Luckily, I don't and wouldn't mix with wierdos like that...I get my highs from my family! And if that sounds pious, bloody good! :-)

@FiddlesticksAkimbo

It would be very convenient for you to believe I’m projecting. But sadly I’m not.

Have a read of the latest UN report on Mexican drug cartels. Then google a bit on how the cartels deal with children who won’t work for them.

fas.org/sgp/crs/row/R41576.pdf

Sadly it’s not projection.

Hi @Scautish I'm very well aware of how the cocaine industry works. I meant you seemed to be projecting beliefs onto me!

@Carriecake80 YES!!! You are fab!!!

I can function perfectly well after 2 glasses of wine or a gin. Can you say the same of someone who has done a line of coke?

I have the added advantage of knowing where my booze has come from; knowing what strength it is and having a good idea of how much I can drink before becoming impaired.

Having a drink does not mean you have to drink to excess.

Add in the fact that cocaine funds criminals and human trafficking and it's just an utterly shit thing to do. To do this around kids is awful and yes, these people should be subject to SS investigations.

@FiddlesticksAkimbo well I’m confused as you’d said you’d rather leave your children with someone high on cocaine than someone drunk.

In your own words

When it comes to impairment of parenting skills I don't think there is a huge difference at all. If there's any difference I'd choose someone addled on cocaine

Not sure how I was projecting.....

Fgs, of course it's not the same as drinking. 🤦🏼‍♀️
Yanbu op (except with the class stereotypes)

Hi @Scautish,

I'd not be happy with either!

And those who think they can parent just as well after a few drinks remind me of drink-drivers who say the same.

Being drunk and in charge of a child is not illegal, but is obviously poses a risk to the child, and social services would be concerned if they were to hear about it - for obvious reasons.

Taking cocaine is illegal, and doing so whilst in charge of a child poses serious risks to the child. Any parent who is doing so needs to STOP - full stop. There are plenty of organisations out there who can support you in doing so. If parents continue to take it, or take their children to events where others are taking it, they are putting their children at serious risk, and can expect to be reported sooner or later in the interests of the child(ren) - and social services will not take the matter lightly!
I used to work with people with substance abuse issues and saw first-hand the damage this did to their families, with children having to be removed from their parents, etc.
OP, you are absolutely right to be concerned!

FiddlesticksAkimbo

I live in Scotland I’ve just had 2 bottles of beer. I would not drive as I’m over the limit (which is lower than England). My children are upstairs, not sleeping.

Perhaps you should call Social services?

I'd rather have a glass of wine than a line of coke, that way I dont have to deal with drug dealers or fund people trafficking/prostitution/slavery etc.

When we have the children to care for, DH and I don't both have more than 1 or 2 drinks through a whole evening, for the same reason OP is getting at here - someone has to be in an unimpaired state to care for a young child should the need arise. Doesn't every one do this?

@Scautish

Good luck and a lovely evening to you! And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt with social services. (As I would of you'd another snorted two lines of coke )

I think it’s really sad that people can’t have a good time without getting high. Especially when their kids are around.