Party popper gate!

[menopause59]

I have had New year at my house for about 6 years, nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.
We don't have a massive house 3 bed semi kitchen big so always end up in there.
Family member turns up two bags of party poppers they know i hate them as they make loads of mess and new years day clean up with a hangover is bad enough.
Anyway come 11.50 party poppers are handed out and i shout 'please let them off outside' but i'm totally ignored and people let about 4 off. I'm so bloody annoyed, and tell them all.
I say something along the lines of 'how disrespectful, i invite you into our home, no-one comes around help i only ask one thing and you can't do that' i think it was a bit more but i can't remember.

I was told i was being dramatic and spoiled I the atmosphere, and it all went a bit awkward.

Anyway as predicted no one came to help yesterday i was up at 7 cleaning and i'm absolutely shattered, but no one rung to check all ok as they usually do.

i actually feel guilty for spoiling the night, but think i was in my right to say something.

So was i being unreasonable to say something, or is it that my family really don't give a shit about me

I think some PP comments have been expressed pretty harshly, but I am in agreement with the general consensus overall OP.
On the one hand the guest who brought the poppers 100% knew it'd provoke you, which was intended as a little cheeky fun at best, at worst they were being VERY ungrateful for all the time and trouble you'd gone to to make a lovely evening for everyone. I think we've all been there at some point where we've put masses of effort into planning and organising something, are quite under it with stress, and then comes the last straw.....
I do think in an ideal world you should have bent the Party Popper rule for a NYE party. Your outburst left all your guests feeling terrible at the most exciting part of the night/year.
So, I think YABU, but I believe many other people would react similarly under the same circumstances.
Try not to feel bad, you were doing a nice thing by throwing the party.

I think that you made a mistake with food, etc. Hot food for so many on NYE? That is a lot of work. Nobody expects so much!

Good manners are making everyone feel comfortable and enjoy themselves.

I am ashamed to say that if I am required thru duty or obligation to attend a party whose host is more interested in their home than their guests, I would probably bring poppers or something to lighten the mood. Next year make other plans?

When I admitted to being one who would bring poppers, I think that it would be bc I would be hoping to bring a little light hearted fun to the party.

I am seldom "pushy" but I love to watch guests enjoy themselves. I do not think that I could take any one seriously if they were unhappy about silliness that is not damaging.

If the party changed to my house, I would be happy with that; but forget hot food unless it is finger foods bc I want to enjoy my guests!

I definitely do NOT want anyone coming to help clean up unless it is with strong coffee and good stories about the night before...around noon.

I think your family/friends sound a bit selfish to not help you tidy up OP. I wouldn’t bother hosting for them again. Someone else can have the mess in their house next year.
As for the party poppers...you over-reacted and probably spoilt the party and frosted the mood. If it had been a giant glitter cannon I could understand!

It was your right to totally over react and put a dampener on the proceedings. If you want help to clear up after then you should be asking. “Hey if you come over to help clear up in the morning/at some point during the day there’s a bacon sarnie in it for you” why get up at bloody 7 to do it??? I think you massively over reacted 🙄🙄

It sounds like you are really just tired of hosting this party every year. 6 years is a long time. I’m sure since you say you have more space than others in your family that it’s not the only party you end up hosting each year, either. People that don’t host big parties sometimes start taking for granted how much energy goes into it. I have hosted two annual parties for years now, and it’s gotten easier but still a ton of effort before and after.

I get the hours spent cleaning, too. I found out its cheap in my are to hire a bartender and server for a few hours so now I do that and it’s made a world of difference to my enjoyment of the parties. Cleanup is so much easier since they do the bulk as they go.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where a guest brings something to your house you don’t want there, like the party poppers, take it and hide it!

I’ll also say that many of my guests at big annual parties always helped clean/tidy during the party (when I don’t hire someone.) Some always stay and help get the kitchen in order, and I get offers of help then next day, too. So I understand you completely there. With family I’d definitely expect this. If you decide to do this again, enlist a family member or good friend. Tell them you like hosting but it’s become a little too much on your own. Ask for someone to co-host with you.

Dont host a party if you are not prepared to tidy up. I have hosted countless parties and I think its rather ignorant of you to expect guests to come back at 7am the next day to help you clean up.
It's a party popper for gods sake

Don’t host parties if you don’t want the mess .
I host them all the time let people enjoy themselves and never expect anyone to come by the next day to clear up !
We’ve had food fights , luckily I have wooden floors / tiles as m the groups of kids tread mud in from playing out in the garden , but that’s my choice .
Don’t get me wrong waking up with a hangover and looking at the mess is unpleasant especially as I am OCD (untill the prosecco comes out 😁) but I knew what would happen and it never stops me hosting the next one !

You can guarantee they won't be back next year anyway, so the problem is solved.

After your outburst, which you said made it uncomfortable, do you honestly think anyone was going to contact you and to come and help? You can guarantee they are all contacting each other and having a chat about it though.

I don't get your issue with party poppers; I don't think they're that hard to clear up, but if you don't like them, then fair enough you get irritated!

I do think that to say what you did to your guests, at that time, in the tone it reads, was BU and unsurprising that it caused an atmosphere. May have been better to say something in a jokey tone (if you felt you had to), wait until the next day and just sent a message if you were still annoyed, or just suck it up and understand that that's the risk when you host a party!

Let them off outside so they disturb neighbours and they all get wet and are harder to clear up?

You expect guests to come round at 7am New Year’s Day To tidy up?

7am drama queen.

Party poppers are easy to clear up, you just pick them up, if it bothers you so much, just say cheerfully after they have been pooped, could everyone help pick up the party poppers. Job done.

Lecturing people on being disrespectful in the middle of a party is not ideal.

You don’t seem to like hosting so why host?

Loads of grammar mistakes sorry typing In a hurry as cleaning again

My favourite post in the thread by OP