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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Party popper gate!

187 replies

menopause59 · 02/01/2020 10:49

I have had New year at my house for about 6 years, nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.
We don't have a massive house 3 bed semi kitchen big so always end up in there.
Family member turns up two bags of party poppers they know i hate them as they make loads of mess and new years day clean up with a hangover is bad enough.
Anyway come 11.50 party poppers are handed out and i shout 'please let them off outside' but i'm totally ignored and people let about 4 off. I'm so bloody annoyed, and tell them all.
I say something along the lines of 'how disrespectful, i invite you into our home, no-one comes around help i only ask one thing and you can't do that' i think it was a bit more but i can't remember.

I was told i was being dramatic and spoiled I the atmosphere, and it all went a bit awkward.

Anyway as predicted no one came to help yesterday i was up at 7 cleaning and i'm absolutely shattered, but no one rung to check all ok as they usually do.

i actually feel guilty for spoiling the night, but think i was in my right to say something.

So was i being unreasonable to say something, or is it that my family really don't give a shit about me

OP posts:

Kitchendiscodiva · 02/01/2020 12:13

confrontational

ClairesKimono · 02/01/2020 12:15

I am not sure that the OP will have to worry too much about clearing up after guests any more.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2020 12:15

It was my choice to clean at 7 i always wake up early i wouldn't expect anyone to help so early, but no-one offers to help anyway regardless of the time.

Why would they if they know you always get up early to do it?

00Sassy · 02/01/2020 12:16

I’d find party poppers harder to clean up outside than inside.
Unless you mean you wanted them let off on the public street/road so you could avoid cleaning them up at all? Which would bvu indeed.

Kitchendiscodiva · 02/01/2020 12:16

4 party poppers wouldn't make that much mess? Its not like they unleashed boxes of confetti.
Now this would annoy me somewhat !

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 02/01/2020 12:18

And people who moan about getting up at 7am after a party to clean wind me up.

Unless there is a very good reason for it, there is absolutely no reason to martyr yourself by being up at crack of sparrows! What stopped you sleeping for an hour or so more, then cleaning? I bloody hate people who choose to get up early and do chores purely so they can huff and puff at others who sleep for a normal length of time.

And if you don't want to clean up, don't host a party, as it isn't your guest's job to do it.

Mummyshark2018 · 02/01/2020 12:22

You wanted to big a point and stick to it and killed the atmosphere by the sounds of it. It was only a few party poppers and better inside where they can be easily swept up instead of outside getting wet and blowing into trees.
I also wouldn't expect anyone to come round and clean my house.

AutumnRose1 · 02/01/2020 12:27

OP if the party poppers had been outside, who would have cleaned up?

WhenOneDoorClosesAnotherOpens · 02/01/2020 12:27

I think maybe it's time to stop hosting OP? Perhaps next year someone else can take a turn.

WorraLiberty · 02/01/2020 12:28

They're a nightmare to clean up outside because they get damp and stick to the pavement.

Mlou32 · 02/01/2020 12:28

They should have respected what you were saying; your house, your rules. However you were being a bit uptight. They are only party poppers, not that hard to clean up and it was a bit of fun at new year.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 02/01/2020 12:30

Your house but should you really be hosting a party if you don't want anyone to make any mess. The fact no one has called you suggests you've made a bit if a tit of yourself and upset them.

Cherrysoup · 02/01/2020 12:32

The person who brought them even commented saying 'i was laughing when i bought them, i knew it would piss you off'

That person is an idiot. Why didn’t you tell them at that time to put them away, then, given they knew how much you hated them? I’d have had quiet words to tell them no rather than potentially pissing off lots of people and embarrassing them at midnight.

Inherdefence · 02/01/2020 12:36

I love to host. I can make sure the food and wine are good and the drink flows and I don’t have to worry about driving home. The downside is the inevitable clearing up process. Like the OP I often get up early the next day to make a start on it because I dread it so much but I have never, ever expected anyone to return to my house to help with it. Hopefully, if I’ve been a good host they will be having a lie in after a really good night at mine.

I’m looking round my living room at the moment. If people had gone crazy with party poppers last night it would take a maximum of three minutes to vacuum the debris up. Maybe 5 or 6 minutes if it had overflowed into the halls and kitchen. If they had taken them outside and the mess had been rained on and then trodden into the patio, paths and carpets it could take weeks to sort out and maybe even need a professional carpet clean if the streamer dye ran. Keeping them inside sounds like a much better idea to me.

You do sound like a party pooper OP. Let someone a bit more relaxed host next year.

RedHelenB · 02/01/2020 12:43

Yabu! No party poppers suggests party pooper! Honestly they take no time at all to clear up.

urkidding · 02/01/2020 12:49

You made a request and it was ignored. Hosting is hard work, and the resentment has been building up, as you're tied. Don't do it next year!

Let someone else take a turn.

urkidding · 02/01/2020 12:51

tired not tied!!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 02/01/2020 13:06

Yabu it's only a bit of coloured paper.

LidlDonkey · 02/01/2020 13:12

I think your username explains your unreasonable rage OP

DowntownAbby · 02/01/2020 13:17

You should have warned the people you invited that there would be strict rules around making any mess and that you expected help cleaning up at 7am the next day.

That way they could have politely declined the invitation and done something fun instead.

littlepaddypaws · 02/01/2020 13:18

you'd have loved me, when my 6 dc wereyounger i used to encourage them with party poppers and confetti over christmas and we all made as much mess as possible [Smile] used to be great fun and everyone down to the 5 yo would help clean up.
typically we'd go through about a 100 of them waste of money from poundland and resources but hey it wasonly oncea year.
we also used to decorate our small trees with chainsof glow sticks and they lasted several nights.

AcrossthePond55 · 02/01/2020 13:25

If you didn't want them then you should have followed this person around and taken them off the people they were handed to instead of just standing there being annoyed and then having a bit of a hissy when they popped them.

I wouldn't normally expect anyone to come help me clean after a party. I wouldn't offer to go clean at a host's either, unless for some reason things had degenerated into a food fight or something horrendous. Cleaning is part of hosting. One of the best things about 'being hosted' is NOT having to clean the next day. Obvs as a 'good guest' I put my dishes in the kitchen or throw away paper goods and offer to help the host during the evening and at the end of the night, but come over the next day and do the 'deep clean'? Nope. I wouldn't expect it if I were hosting, either.

QueSera · 02/01/2020 13:29

In the kindest way OP, I think you should give up hosting - we have party poppers at all our parties, and they're not difficult to clean up, so I think YABU being so resentful and angry about them. Parties cause mess.

And I've never heard of anyone going round to a host's house the next day to help clean up, so I think YABU to expect that and be resentful that no one did.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 02/01/2020 13:47

I was going to say YABU, lighten up, they're party poppers on NYE!
Then realised that they KNEW you hated them and brought a load round anyway, so that makes them massive arseholes already.
YANBU

redwoodmazza · 02/01/2020 13:49

There was only 3 of us for Christmas lunch so I bought silly stuff to make it more fun - crackers, printed jokes off the internet AND 24 party poppers. We all sat there at the table aiming the poppers at our central ceiling light to see if we could get the streamers to land on the arms!!!
It was easy peasy to clean up afterwards, tbh.

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