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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party popper gate!

187 replies

menopause59 · 02/01/2020 10:49

I have had New year at my house for about 6 years, nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.
We don't have a massive house 3 bed semi kitchen big so always end up in there.
Family member turns up two bags of party poppers they know i hate them as they make loads of mess and new years day clean up with a hangover is bad enough.
Anyway come 11.50 party poppers are handed out and i shout 'please let them off outside' but i'm totally ignored and people let about 4 off. I'm so bloody annoyed, and tell them all.
I say something along the lines of 'how disrespectful, i invite you into our home, no-one comes around help i only ask one thing and you can't do that' i think it was a bit more but i can't remember.

I was told i was being dramatic and spoiled I the atmosphere, and it all went a bit awkward.

Anyway as predicted no one came to help yesterday i was up at 7 cleaning and i'm absolutely shattered, but no one rung to check all ok as they usually do.

i actually feel guilty for spoiling the night, but think i was in my right to say something.

So was i being unreasonable to say something, or is it that my family really don't give a shit about me

OP posts:
Mistletoadsandwhine · 02/01/2020 11:21

We had about 20 party poppers let off by kids all over the living room and bits were dragged through to kitchen on peoples feet. Took all of 15 minutes to clean up using a dustpan and hoover.

Original poster
menopause59 · 02/01/2020 11:25

I agree my days of hosting are over, i have started resenting it.

I know i'm being dramatic, but they know i bloody hate them and i have always asked them not to do them indoors.
The person who brought them even commented saying 'i was laughing when i bought them, i knew it would piss you off'

It was my choice to clean at 7 i always wake up early i wouldn't expect anyone to help so early, but no-one offers to help anyway regardless of the time.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 02/01/2020 11:26

So you basically had a full-on rant at your guests at around midnight on NYE over "about 4" party poppers being let off? As PPs have said they're not hard to clear up. YABU and a bit of a martyr.

MarthasGinYard · 02/01/2020 11:27

I'd missed the bit about it being a paltry 4 poppers

Blimey no don't host

It's like your guests having a dentist with no teeth

Original poster
menopause59 · 02/01/2020 11:29

if i didn't say anything there would of been more than 4 it was only cause i said something they stopped.

OP posts:
Pinkyyy · 02/01/2020 11:29

You sound like you really ruined it for everyone. Party poppers are extremely easy to tidy up, it's just paper. And have you ever asked anyone for help tidying up?

Dyrne · 02/01/2020 11:30

If it was your choice to clean at 7 then don’t moan about doing it by yourself and being knackered then...

Stop hosting. You’ll need to find something else to be martyr-ish about though...

fedup21 · 02/01/2020 11:30

The person who brought them even commented saying 'i was laughing when i bought them, i knew it would piss you off'

I suggest this person is asked to host next year.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 11:30

YWBU to tell them off during the party.
YWBU not to hide the poppers. Just take them in to the kitchen and put them outside discreetly.
YWBU to let them walk out without picking up the vacuum cleaner to clean up their own mess.

YANBU if you don't invite said family member again.

PollyPocketLucyLocket · 02/01/2020 11:30

Yes, OP. I think YABU. It's NYE, party poppers are part of the fun.

The same as Mistletoadsandwhine here. The DC let off loads of the things, and they picked up the string to throw all over the Christmas tree, making it into a New Year tree.

It took them all of a few minutes.

Why the hate for them so much though?

Everanewbie · 02/01/2020 11:30

Your house, your rules. If you explicitly asked your guests not deploy party poppers, and they did anyway, your guests are a bit rude.

But to be honest, their mess is cleared quickly with a brush or a vacuum cleaner. It's a bit of paper not the waste products from a nuclear power plant. If you can't deal with a few party poppers on NYE, perhaps, as you have suggested, your hosting days are over. You resent it, and strict rules for guests aren't exactly condusive to a fun atmposphere for anyone.

codenameduchess · 02/01/2020 11:30

All that for 4 party poppers? They're irritating yes but not a big deal really and certainly not something i would choose to rant at my guests and make it awkward at midnight on NYE. And you didn't have to clean up at 7, you chose to clean up at 7.

You don't sound like the best party host, maybe leave it to someone else next time.

Original poster
menopause59 · 02/01/2020 11:31

of course people should offer to help the next day, i always do and i always offer to help the day of the party and do food etc, its called helping family out

OP posts:
PollyPocketLucyLocket · 02/01/2020 11:31

Paper over the tree, not string. Typo.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 02/01/2020 11:31

Can you tell me where they got their party poppers from? The ones I’ve had have always just had a few strands of paper in there - I want your friends’ ones that can demolish a kitchen!

SophieSong · 02/01/2020 11:32

What sort of mess were they making that took ages to clean up?! Aside from party poppers.

PerceptionIsReality · 02/01/2020 11:32

The huge glitter bomb things are a PITA but a few normal party poppers? It all sounds a bit uptight TBH. Nothing worse than a grudging hostess.

Chickychoccyegg · 02/01/2020 11:34

your guests won't want to come to yours next year so thats something i guess, since you dont seem to enjoy it.
as for getting up at 7am to clean up....why? could easily have waited until later, and no guests arent generally expected to come round and clean up, especially ridiculously early.

turnthebiglightoff · 02/01/2020 11:35

YABU. And odd.

PollyPocketLucyLocket · 02/01/2020 11:35

OP, you've had a fair amount of pp tell you that you were unreasonable, for a number of reasons; the fact it was only 4 poppers, the fact that you were up cleaning at 7am, that you are grudging no one else turned up at that time on NYD, the shouting, telling people to take them outside and more.

Do you disagree with all? Also, why do you hate the poppers so much?

Rachie1973 · 02/01/2020 11:36

Jeez. How embarrassing for everyone to be told off publicly. Such an over reaction.

Dyrne · 02/01/2020 11:37

Nothing worse than a grudging hostess.

Yep. If I went to a party where the host yelled at me, then moaned about how no one ever helped/contributed; I wouldn’t go back. I always help out with food/washing up etc, but if the host ruined the evening with their shitty attitude, I wouldn’t be too quick to offer to come back to listen to even more morning the next day!!!

JacquesHammer · 02/01/2020 11:37

Are you talking about the same party poppers?! The ones that shoot a small handful of paper streamers?!

How do 4 make such a mess.

I think you’re right, if you host with an expectation of your guests helping to tidy up, the hostess role isn’t for you.

BillHadersNewWife · 02/01/2020 11:38

nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.

Yet you think people should come round the next day to clear up? Confused

ineedto · 02/01/2020 11:39

You acknowledge yourself that you resent hosting, probably best you stop.

We had a house full on NYE, it took a less than 1hr to return the house to its usual self. Difference is as I tidied I was recalling the fun of the night before. I enjoy hosting, love seeing everyone have fun together.