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AIBU?

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Original poster

Party popper gate!

187 replies

menopause59 · 02/01/2020 10:49

I have had New year at my house for about 6 years, nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.
We don't have a massive house 3 bed semi kitchen big so always end up in there.
Family member turns up two bags of party poppers they know i hate them as they make loads of mess and new years day clean up with a hangover is bad enough.
Anyway come 11.50 party poppers are handed out and i shout 'please let them off outside' but i'm totally ignored and people let about 4 off. I'm so bloody annoyed, and tell them all.
I say something along the lines of 'how disrespectful, i invite you into our home, no-one comes around help i only ask one thing and you can't do that' i think it was a bit more but i can't remember.

I was told i was being dramatic and spoiled I the atmosphere, and it all went a bit awkward.

Anyway as predicted no one came to help yesterday i was up at 7 cleaning and i'm absolutely shattered, but no one rung to check all ok as they usually do.

i actually feel guilty for spoiling the night, but think i was in my right to say something.

So was i being unreasonable to say something, or is it that my family really don't give a shit about me

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 02/01/2020 13:51

Sorry but YABU, party poppers aren’t a big deal to clear up.

Rumnraisin · 02/01/2020 13:53

Sorry if I’ve missed an update but was it four party poppers that were let off...as in four...FOUR? Very Confused

CoraPirbright · 02/01/2020 14:01

Party poppers really aren’t that bad to clear up. So I think you are being a bit OTT and precious about that one. However, people arriving with silly string would have that confiscated at my door as that is a bugger to clean!

GabsAlot · 02/01/2020 14:45

I think the person who bought them knowing you would be pissed off is out of order

go round their house next year with a hundred of them see how they like it

CripsSandwiches · 02/01/2020 14:55

It was kind of rude to let them off when you said no but yes you do sound uptight.

If you host a party then of course you'll need to clean up afterwards that's part of hosting. Party poppers take minutes to clean up, and you didn't need to get up at 7am!

eurochick · 02/01/2020 15:06

They are a nightmare to clean up, OP. Particularly if combined with spilled drink. I had to use nail varnish remover to get blobs of colour off my beautiful wooden floor when I hosted a NYE party once. And I was still finding bits on the bottom of table legs, etc when I moved years later. They get everywhere.

Beccaishere · 02/01/2020 15:06

Do people really offer to come the next day and offer to help tidy??? Shock I would offer before leaving and go round with a black bag to get most of the rubbish but as for offering to go back the next morning!
Do you turn up at peoples homes the day after a party op with a duster and a Hoover in hand??Grin more then welcome to come to mine and have a tidy while I nap Wink

I really wouldn’t worry about party poppers in future, I honestly think your hosting days are over!

SusanneLinder · 02/01/2020 15:22

Certainly the person who brought the party poppers is rude, however have you got a history of being an uptight hostess that would lead to that behaviour. Confused

Certainly wouldn't take you hours to clean 4 party poppers, or wouldn't take hours to clean up either unless it was particularly wild.
And shouting at your guests 10 minutes before New Year is very "off". I have had a few parties, and I certainly would NOT expect people to come round and help the next day. Whatever for? Most of my guests tidy as they go

bingoitsadingo · 02/01/2020 15:33

YABU but so were your guests as they knew you don't like them. Your reaction still sounds OTT though.

And I would never expect my guests to help tidy the morning after a party unless they stayed overnight. Tidying up is the price you pay for hosting. IME it usually takes less time to tidy up than it takes my guests to get home!

queenMab99 · 02/01/2020 15:49

The bags of party poppers would have mysteriously disappeared about 10 minutes after arrival, if it had been my house................Xmas Grin

JosefKeller · 02/01/2020 16:22

Do people really offer to come the next day and offer to help tidy???

How rude would that be if they did! Different for a real party obviously, but otherwise it just means your house must be an absolute tip if you look so desperate they have to offer help.

minisoksmakehardwork · 02/01/2020 16:45

I have an intense loathing of party poppers after a friends son let one off in my face when I was much younger.

Unless the person secreted them and whipped them out as midnight was about to strike, I don't understand why you couldn't have hidden them in the bin much earlier. Although I do think that person was rude given it was one thing you had specifically asked not to be brought.

Definitely give up the hosting as it should be something you enjoy to do with family and friends rather than feeling obligated to do.

As for not helping clean up, was anyone staying over? because otherwise I'd just take the hit on the mess. I'd not expect guests to come back and help clear away if they potentially weren't safe to drive after drinking the previous night, or even if they were sober. Clearing up is one of the downsides to house parties.

SaphfireRose · 02/01/2020 16:50

I didn't vote because YANBU to want the let off outside. I don't understand those who say it's ok inside. They are meant for outside, not inside. They are not supposed to be let off in doors. You are exactly right there.

But, YABVU to get up at 7am on New Year's Day (who does that??) to clean when no one else is coming around. That is just nuts and excessive to me, when most people have a hangover and are sleeping in til midday.

SmuggyMcKnobson · 02/01/2020 17:05

Blimey. We did party last year for 50 people and we had a live band. Everyone got fed a hot meal and dessert.

It took about an hour the next morning to get the house back to normal. How messy are your guests OP?

SaphfireRose · 02/01/2020 17:16

Although I do think some people are misrepresenting the OP. She didn't say there were only 4 poppers (indeed she said someone brought two bags of them, usually a bag has 25-50 poppers in them), she said 4 people let one off, and then she told the rest to go outside. It's 4 people, not 4 poppers.

lovemenorca · 02/01/2020 17:21

* Blimey. We did party last year for 50 people and we had a live band. Everyone got fed a hot meal and dessert.*

It took about an hour the next morning to get the house back to normal. How messy are your guests OP?

An hour? Oh come on. Not unless you had a SWAT team of cleaners

Sweettruelies · 02/01/2020 17:21

Wouldn’t it have been more difficult to clean them up outside?

JosefKeller · 02/01/2020 17:34

An hour? Oh come on. Not unless you had a SWAT team of cleaners

how much mess do people actually make?!?

surely you can go round with rubbish bags and get rid of all the rubbish in 15 minutes, 20 minutes to hoover and mop, 15 minutes to clean the loos, the longest will be to empty dishwasher and wipe the kitchen clean.

MustShowDH · 02/01/2020 17:35

YABU
I could understand if you didn't want them let off because they scare your dog, but not just because you're uptight!

I hate it when people start cleaning up AT a party, it's normally the death knell. I prefer to clean up on my own anyway. I certainly wouldn't expect people to come round the next day.

Yes, you ruined the party, but hey, at least its a good chance for someone else to host next year.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 02/01/2020 17:45

I've never in my life gone back to a party the next day to help clean up. Is that normal? I'd be a bit miffed if people turned up to mine the day after.

You were ridiculously dramatic over something which hoovers up in a couple of minutes. Of course you ruined the atmosphere, most grown adults probably don't particularly like being chastised like toddlers for doing something quite normal at a party.

I doubt your guests will want to return next year so seems you'll get a clean break from hosting.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 02/01/2020 17:47

Unless all 4 people have got more than 2 hands, you're not talking many more than 4 party poppers.

SmuggyMcKnobson · 02/01/2020 18:19

4 people let one off

I still make that 4.

SmuggyMcKnobson · 02/01/2020 18:25

surely you can go round with rubbish bags and get rid of all the rubbish in 15 minutes, 20 minutes to hoover and mop, 15 minutes to clean the loos, the longest will be to empty dishwasher and wipe the kitchen clean

OK, the hour didn't include emptying the dishwasher, but that usually has to be done anyway. Cooking stuff was washed up as we went on the night. Tiled floors so no big deal to sweep and mop. It's not really a big deal.

Crazycrazylady · 02/01/2020 18:27

I'm shocked that after kicking off the night before at midnight and lecturing everyone about their behaviour you're surprised that 'no one popped back to help you tidy up"

Think you're safe enough for next year!

CharlottesPleb · 02/01/2020 18:27

Honestly if someone moaned at me as new year happened about how they would now have to be up at 7am picking ip a maximum of 20 small, clean, dry pieces of paper I would not give a single shit, and it would be reason for thought about the friendship of an unbearable martyr.

You sbsolutely have the right to this power because your house your rules. You used your power injudiciously.

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