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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Party popper gate!

187 replies

menopause59 · 02/01/2020 10:49

I have had New year at my house for about 6 years, nothing massive just family and friends a few drinks and a bit of food.
We don't have a massive house 3 bed semi kitchen big so always end up in there.
Family member turns up two bags of party poppers they know i hate them as they make loads of mess and new years day clean up with a hangover is bad enough.
Anyway come 11.50 party poppers are handed out and i shout 'please let them off outside' but i'm totally ignored and people let about 4 off. I'm so bloody annoyed, and tell them all.
I say something along the lines of 'how disrespectful, i invite you into our home, no-one comes around help i only ask one thing and you can't do that' i think it was a bit more but i can't remember.

I was told i was being dramatic and spoiled I the atmosphere, and it all went a bit awkward.

Anyway as predicted no one came to help yesterday i was up at 7 cleaning and i'm absolutely shattered, but no one rung to check all ok as they usually do.

i actually feel guilty for spoiling the night, but think i was in my right to say something.

So was i being unreasonable to say something, or is it that my family really don't give a shit about me

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/01/2020 11:41

So you're quite happy for them to be let off outdoors?
Bet you wouldn't even clean up the mess
Angry

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/01/2020 11:44

of course people should offer to help the next day, i always do and i always offer to help the day of the party and do food etc, its called helping family out Oh, for goodness sake! One thing for people to offer to bring food (always welcome) but no way would I want people "helping" and getting in my way when I'm thinking about which task comes next. And as for guest helping with the clear-up - no way. What is the point of going round to someone else's house if you're expected to help get everything ready and help clear it all up? Part of the "gift" of hosting is giving people an evening's fun where they don't have to do any of the work.

I'm perplexed about what goes on at your parties that gives you such a mammoth cleaning job next day.

ArewebeingHAD · 02/01/2020 11:45

The person who brought them even commented saying 'i was laughing when i bought them, i knew it would piss you off'

How did my SIL end up at your party. We are NC for a reason.

I would have looked the relevant person up and down and said how utterly infantile of you.

Gingerninja01 · 02/01/2020 11:49

4 party poppers wouldn't make that much mess? Its not like they unleashed boxes of confetti.

saraclara · 02/01/2020 11:49

You threw a strop at midnight on NY?

Well I don't think you'll have to worry about cleaning up next year. I imagine your guests will have other plans.

Those party poppers would have hung around your garden for months. No way you'd be able to clean them up! As for getting up at 7am and expecting othrs to...!

category12 · 02/01/2020 11:52

Were you quite drunk?

You're really not cut out for hosting New Years parties. And unless people are staying over, it's weird to expect them to help clear up.

DickDewy · 02/01/2020 11:53

4 party poppers? You definitely need to unclench.

Leave the hosting to someone else next year.

ThereWillBeAdequateFood · 02/01/2020 11:54

Stop hosting. It’s obvious you don’t want to.

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/01/2020 11:55

"The person who brought them even commented saying 'i was laughing when i bought them, i knew it would piss you off'"
Well there's someone I'd never invite to my house again.

"I have had New year at my house for about 6 years ... I agree my days of hosting are over, i have started resenting it."
You've done your share, it's up to others to step up now. I'd suggest the person who brought the poppers should volunteer.

JeezyPeeps · 02/01/2020 11:55

So would you have cleared up the party popper mess outside?

Sixgeese · 02/01/2020 11:55

I hate party poppers and don't like them anywhere near me so I don't think YABU.

When I was a young teen we had them at a school party, one of my teachers was hit in the eye by someone not using them properly and it was touch and go as to whether she would loose her sight in that eye.

So the mess I could live with, people treating them as toys after drinking, not so much.

GreenTulips · 02/01/2020 11:58

DD if a party NYE

I brought 24x3 party poppers and they were everywhere! Didn’t take long to pick up.

I think you over reacted by miles. It would’ve spoilt their fun and that’s the point of the party surely

MaggieFS · 02/01/2020 12:00

I don't think they're particularly hard to clean , just sweep them up when you clean the floor anyway?

BUT it's your house and I wouldn't happy if I'd asked people not to do something and they did, and I'd be fuming if they did it deliberately to annoy me. Just don't host next year or don't ask that person.

Elderflower14 · 02/01/2020 12:00

I bloody hate party poppers. I was waitressing at a ball years ago... Some daft prat let a pp off behind me when I was carrying a pile of plates... Nearly dropped the lit. Not impressed at all.

JosefKeller · 02/01/2020 12:00

of course people should offer to help the next day Confused

I thought your OP said you just had a small gathering?
You are completely BU I am afraid.

You help when someone hires a hall and throw a proper party, in a house you help during the party and tidy up a bit before you leave, who on earth needs help the following day? Sounds ridiculously over-kill.

I personally don't go to bed until the house is tidy anyway, can't stand getting up in a stinky mess. How drunk are you that the house is that trashed it takes you an entire day cleaning?

SimonJT · 02/01/2020 12:01

Party poppers would be much harder to clean up outside due to becoming damp. They’re just bits of paper, it really isn’t a hardship. If you don’t want party clean up then don’t have a party.

Elderflower14 · 02/01/2020 12:01

lit lot

Jellybeansincognito · 02/01/2020 12:05

Why are you having a party if you’re that precious about mess?

You have a 3 bed semi- it’s a few party poppers...
They’re probably the last thing that is time consuming when clearing up after having people round.

FeigningHorror · 02/01/2020 12:05

Honestly, OP, after you shouted about people you’ve invited into your home disrespecting you and not helping you just before midnight at your own New Year’s Eve party, I doubt you’ll have to host again next year.

Though having people around is never compulsory, so I’m not sure why you sound so determinedly martyrish about the last six years. Getting up at seven to clean is ridiculously self-dramatising.

NightsOfCabiria · 02/01/2020 12:08

OP, I don't think you're suited to hosting. Maybe go somewhere else next year.

Glitterfisher · 02/01/2020 12:08

How bizarre expecting people to come round the next day to clear up. I have hosted and been to many parties and this would never cross my mind, I even had 40 people one night and was going on holiday the next morning but wouldn't even think that anyone should help clear up. How much mess do people really make?!!

Party poppers are so easy to clear up, even 20 of them would be a breeze.

Agree with the others, I don't think you should be hosting any more. How uncomfortable must your guests have felt!!

lovemenorca · 02/01/2020 12:08

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ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 02/01/2020 12:09

Party poppers are far easier to clean up inside.... unless you're saying that you'd happily just leave the litter outside? In which case YABVVU.

Anyway, your house, your rules. If someone desperately wants party poppers, they should host the party.

ClairesKimono · 02/01/2020 12:11

This is a joke right? No one can be that miserable and martyrish surely?

Kitchendiscodiva · 02/01/2020 12:12

This is hilarious ! 4 Party poppers ! And then to get all confontational about it. Dear me ! Hope you're over it now. I'd never expect party guests of mine to come and help me clear up either !