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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cards against humanity - angry friend

418 replies

CareBear50 · 01/01/2020 22:20

Last night we had a bit of a get together with v close friends and family. There were about 5 or 6 of us. I had been given Cards Against Humanity for Christmas and decided to play a game of it.

I explained the premise of the game to everyone and explained how it worked. I said some might find it offensive (and gave some harsh examples) but just wanted to make sure everyone was ok about it before we played as I knew some people might not like it. I explained if they were uncomfortable it was perfectly fine to say no. No one objected.

Everyone played the game.

Anyway - I called in to my friends house earlier to say hi and he had a go at me four times, complaining that the game was not ok. On four separate occasions I told him that I had given him the opportunity to opt out, along with everyone else, and if he didn't want to play that was fine. In the end I told him you have no right to complain after the fact, if you say nothing when we were playing it or before we started, as I am not a mind-reader and in such a small group you could easily have aired your concerns.

This person is normally quite vocal and no shrinking violet.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Junie70 · 01/01/2020 22:51

We played this with my mum and stepdad... both in their 70s. They were both crying with laughter, and they just didn't use the cards they thought were a bit close to the line... as we all do in our house.

He sounds like a snowflake.

simplekindoflife · 01/01/2020 22:51

YANBU. Cards Against Humanity is brilliant.

TWD89 · 01/01/2020 22:51

YANBU and he’s being a dick. Probably due to sore head.

CAH is hilarious.

Babyroobs · 01/01/2020 22:52

Can someone give me an example of how it could be offensive - I'm struggling to understand the aim of the game despite googling it !

Instagrump · 01/01/2020 22:52

It's a really stupid game and highly offensive but who fucking cares? Some people find it funny, some don't but they don't need to go away and cry about it like a little bitch-ass whiner the next day!

ArranUpsideDown · 01/01/2020 22:53

the wife told me it would be fine, so I was also going by that

I would never rely on my DH to give an accurate account of anything or anyone in our personal lives. I can think of wretched situations he landed me in because he didn't give various situations enough thought until they happened and then he froze like a rabbit in headlights so was no help at all in resolving or even mitigating them.

Nonetheless, that must have been quite some fit of The Day After regret for your friend to have ruminated on this so much. Did anything happen/any scenarios turn up that might have triggered some horrible self-reflection? Or reflection on something he doesn't like to think about?

Gingerkittykat · 01/01/2020 22:54

I wouldn't play it with people I didn't know well enough to know they would not be offended with it.

I have one friend in particular who would get really upset by this game.

Original poster
CareBear50 · 01/01/2020 22:55

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

I didn't notice anything untoward.

He seemed to be joining in like everyone else.....or so I thought at the time.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 01/01/2020 22:56

Need more information. If everyone else wanted to play, it'd be very hard to be the one who didn't. Never played it, only read about it on here.

RuffleCrow · 01/01/2020 22:56

This game sounds like the perfect way to filter out those people who confuse feeling deeply uncomfortable with finding something funny. I could put a local ad out for a "games night" buy them all a one way ticket to wherever it is Frankie Boyle lives and never have to feel uncomfortable around their weird 'jokes' again.

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 01/01/2020 22:57

I quite like the game, although some of the cards are pretty horrendous. A friend of my df's brother has it with about 5 expansion packs and we always have a laugh when we play it. I've plyed it with my parents before, who found it hilarious but I was dying inside 😂😂

It's fine if he doesn't like it for whatever reason but not becessary to go off so many times about it. Make your point and move on

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 01/01/2020 22:58

It sounds like he was just looking for something to complain about. My adult sons play it (drink is definitely involved) and they love it.

The way everyone is getting so precious nowadays, I’d best buy a pack before they’re banned. 😁

BumbleBeee69 · 01/01/2020 22:59

what is the Game ? I've heard of the title but missed the premise ??

TheGhostOfEpicPast · 01/01/2020 23:02

Isn’t this kind of like going to watch an 18r film, then writing a letter to the cinema afterwards, to express disgust at the adult rated content?

I think this guy needs to grow up and get a life. Fair warned is fair armed imo. YANBU, you gave him an opt out, he is a grown man, he refused to opt out. At that point the responsibility rests entirely with him, and he is frankly an entitled idiot to suggest otherwise.

Drabarni · 01/01/2020 23:04

YABU we have this game and play with close family only, and those who definitely wouldn't be offended. I don't see how anyone would think this ok in other circumstances, but happy to be proved wrong.

AdoraBell · 01/01/2020 23:05

YANBU, he could have piped up during the game and excused himself.

I personally don’t like the game, so I don’t join in when my DDs play it with their friends. They all over 18 in case anyone thinks I might be letting younger DC to see the cards.

TheGhostOfEpicPast · 01/01/2020 23:06

Why do people not take responsibility for their own actions and decisions anymore? Why does everything always have to be someone else’s fault these days?

SpicyRibs · 01/01/2020 23:11

I called in to my friends house earlier to say hi and he had a go at me four times, complaining that the game was not ok

Sounds like a good reason to stop being friends with him tbh.

theflushedzebra · 01/01/2020 23:12

I can't believe people don't know that CAH is utterly offensive by now - they weren't joking when they named the game!

We have it, and played it a fair bit with family and including our teen sons (15 & nearly 18) - they love it even though some of them make me Blush Shock

YANBU.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 01/01/2020 23:14

YABU we have this game and play with close family only, and those who definitely wouldn't be offended. I don't see how anyone would think this ok in other circumstances, but happy to be proved wrong.

He was asked again and again if he was comfortable playing. You say you wouldn’t play with anyone who might be offended, but how would you know without asking?

Original poster
CareBear50 · 01/01/2020 23:14

I agree that some of the cards are particularly bad.

Amongst others, I have removed the Madeleine McCann one from the pack as it is just too offensive

OP posts:
userlotsanumbers · 01/01/2020 23:18

Maybe some people can't tell in advance whether something will trigger them or not? Maybe something came up that was unexpected, and triggered something?
Cut him some slack, there might be a good reason for him not using his crystal ball that night.

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 01/01/2020 23:19

Not unreasonable, CAH is something I'm happy to watch others play but won't play myself. You gave him the opportunity to not play and plenty of warning about it so I'd not worry.

AutumnRose1 · 01/01/2020 23:19

I didn’t know there was a McCann one

But it looks pretty fucking grim

www.dailydot.com/via/cards-against-humanity-problems/

I guess he didn’t want to be a party pooper and if you asked his wife, that’s not the same as asking him

stargazer2030 · 01/01/2020 23:20

I don’t like it but and would opt out of playing but wouldn’t mind if others did. He has a voice - it really annoys me when people complain after the fact.
The first time I played I didn’t realise how bad it was and half way though just said I didn’t like it and it wasn’t for me and picked in. No one minded.