I haven't done it but how do I prove it and should I even sodding care anymore

[lorraineinthemleggings]

I have named changed for this .

DP and I have been together 2 years , I moved across the county to live with him in his house . We are due to move in a joint property in the next month or so , I have 50/50 access with my DCs he has 100% with his dc ,

Things haven't been great over the last few weeks , nothing major mostly niggles , stress and expense of Christmas I think and my irritation that it's all fallen to me as Im the woman and therefore enjoy all that stuff

I work full time in my original hometown so have a hefty commute and also work in a 24 hr industry so as a manager I am on-calls on-call if that makes sense .

Last night , just as we had arrived at a party , my phone goes , on-call needs me to make a decision , 30 second call , no big deal , all sorted . DP was off with me from that point on , I thought it was because I was working again when we were out , I get that , I'm sick of it too but that's my job and it's always been that way since I met him .

DP goes out drinking today again with the lads ,leaving me at home with his dc , mine are with their dad. He rolls in steaming drunk , first he started on what I had fed his kids all day and what a disgrace of a mother I was if I thought it was acceptable . I replied along the lines of at least I was at home not in the pub drinking , admittedly I was proper pissed off and got a bit shouty , then he said he should have known I was a shit parent because I gave my kids up 50/50 without fighting their dad for more (there was no need to fight him , we agreed it and it works well and has been going on for so long now , way before I met DP)

And finally that he has clicked what is going on now , I am having affair with the guy who was on call yesterday because I answered the phone "hi babe, what's up?"

1. I don't remember doing that but I could of , I do call people babe , love , chicken etc I am a disgrace to MN I know
2. he knows the guy and has met him several times , he also knows he is a serial shagger and I wouldn't touch him with his own .
3. I have never cheated on anyone in my life , it's not in my nature . 4)DP has confessed that he has cheated on both his wives and he knows that is a deal breaker for me , I hate that kind of behaviour .

He is now passed out in the spare room whilst his dc's are still ramping about the house and calling daddy but daddy is too drunk to see to them . I am in our bedroom with the door closed ignoring the lot of it , I will see to them in a minute , rod for my back eh !

Anyway , I think I have answered my own question just by writing this down but WIBU to tell him his childminder has clocked off and never to leave them with me again . And AIBU to think he could be guilty of cheating as attack is the first form of defence ?

Sorry it's long ...

Your his new nanny fuck buddy and house keeper
Now you know what his other women had to put up with
If you dump him, he will just find another like a conveyer belt

You are better than this

Haha he's cheated on both of his previous wives, probably previous girlfriends too, and you're being used as a mother for his children because he can't be fucked.

And you're on here asking what to do?

If it's not obvious, you've got no hope. It should have been obvious from the cheating record, run far away. Cheaters aren't trustworthy, never are, never will be.

I hope you do leave him and soon. He's a disgrace.

Why on earth would you not LTB???

I think saying you won’t look after his kids - when you all live together is quite strange . If you are their stepmom then surely you would be looking after them too ?

Because she’s not the bloody hired help. The fuck would I be looking after someone else’s kids when I was having time off from my own! Also I get the feeling that he wouldn’t take a turn of looking after OPs kids.

Cut and run. You have your job, go back to your home town and leave him to it.

Why are you with an abusive arsehole who is using you as an unpaid nanny?

Yes to ask of the above.

Also, you're a shit mum, but he has enough faith in you that he's comfortable passing out drunk and leaving you to it....?

Glad to see you're going to leave. Should be relatively easy - thank God you haven't moved houses yet, or your job. It's so strange when someone thinks they've got you sucked in, and then show you who they are.

Played his hand a bit too soon, and too far, eh?

Such a chancer.

He's shown his true colours! Get out of there, please.

I wouldn't say the childminder has clocked off I'd say I'm clocking off.
I'd move back to my hometown be nearer my kids and wait to find someone nicer and let him get on with his own shit.
It will only get worse the longer you stay and you will be a unpaid babysitter and housekeeper. Go live your own life without all his baggage. X

@ClappyCheeks
Spot on

But that's because I organise my life around my days off from them , childcare for school holidays is In place and sorted in advance.

He is at work tomorrow and I've no idea who is watching the kids and for once I haven't asked .

Before I came into it , kids were farmed off to whoever would have them , he had a lot more help back then as he had a lot people who felt sorry for his situation, those people have mostly disappeared as ,well , Lorraine will do it I suppose . And I really really don't mind , I just don't want to be moaned at because it's not upto his expectations .

I have options and I'm feeling all the better for it ,I will be better once I'm out of the house tomorrow, I will be able to think better

Unless he has some seriously redeeming features you’ve failed to mention, I’d be out of there. It sounds like you’ve been mistaken for some form of unpaid wrap around care...

Move back to the town where you work asap
Just you & your children
Easier commute & I assume that you will save some money

He doesn't appreciate you !

You deserve better

Dear God OP,
This is astounding to read.

Why would you be bringing your children into a situation like this?

Have you really so little self respect, to honestly believe this is acceptable?

He is absolutely abusive.

Are you really going to bring your children into such a volatile situation?

You owe your children more.

Move out.

Move on.

Protect your children.
💐

The thing is he’s not going to have a personality transplant when you move house. He doesn’t respect you and he isn’t going to.
You can leave him now. Or later, with more pain and more collateral damage done to your own life.

Op you've posted some identifying info in your last post.
Ps I vote for leave the knobber. At the very least don't live together

When you said wives, and then deceived his behaviour it made it easy to see why they left him. Honestly if another man left me to mind his kids while he went to the pub I'd tell him go fuck himself.

You are his nanny.

What a knob head-get out now, whilst you still can. Your kids aren’t his responsibility.

Sorry - assumed that was your real name but maybe not

Lorraine in them leggings is a quote from the Royle family .

I am not Lorraine although I am wearing leggings today

Please leave him. He's just using you for unpaid childcare and that won't change.

Please don't expose your DC to this fuckwit any longer, is that really the example of a relationship you want them to see?

@billy1966

I don't think I do have any self respect left , I am bit tired of life for many reasons and today has thrown me over the edge ,

I would never discuss any of this in real life , paint a smile on and all that .

I would leave just make sure you let a few others know he is on his own with the dc eg grandparents as he sounds like he would be neglectful left to his own devices.

How old are his dc?

Why are you with this twat? Run away as fast as you can. He has no respect for you. Have some for yourself and LTB.