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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to end this via text?

188 replies

Conflicted1212 · 01/01/2020 21:21

Been seeing a guy for nearly 5 months. He is really busy, childcare and we live 30 mins drive. I work long hours and active social life. We try to see each other 1/2 times a week, staying over. Our means of communication is via daily texts. Lately he has been difficult to pin down to meet and very delayed In answering texts, even when has been online.

Since mid December he has said he was busy, trying to finish work things (has 2 jobs) and Xmas events. We both had family down for a week over Xmas, so no time. Last time I saw him was 27th December.

We tried to make NYE plans and they didn’t work out as he wasn’t sure in childcare - it was his normal day - but wasn’t sure if his teenager has plans. So my friend asked if she could come and stay, which I said yes. He ended up making plans with his friends, even though we were 10 mins down the road. I invited him to pop round today as he was close. Read the text but no answer.

Also today as my friend was messing about on bumble, his profile appeared. We had a chat in October when he said His profile wasn’t active and he wanted to see what develops, but take it slow. He said he had been hurt in the past and liked our dynamic. Couldn’t be 100 % committed as his teenager and work were priority. Pressed on this and he said seeing each other all the time and moulding lives, just wanted it to develop organically. That’s fine, I am wanting to remain independent and maintain our lives. Taking it slow is fine.

However, I feel I am being slow faded. The activation of his bumble account and ignoring texts, not good signs. So I would rather end it, as he is obviously not mature to do this. Do I do it over text? Or face to face - I like to gauge reactions. It’s just when we will meet?

I am sad as I liked him, but rather leave respectfully than being cheated on or replaced. What do I do?

OP posts:
Trainwardrobe · 03/01/2020 09:20

Well done OP and like the video teddybear

Strongmummy · 03/01/2020 10:27

@GiveHerHellFromUs you’ve hit the nail on the head. The OP is entitled to do what she wants.

LonelyGir1 · 03/01/2020 19:22

So...have seen him again yet OP?

Conflicted1212 · 03/01/2020 19:37

Seen the ex. No. Sorry but I did half check out as others have said he put in little input. Now looking forward to seeing what’s out there. Much better than the ex. Realised today that debts, his attitude and dysfunctional life, he will be waiting a while. Suppose to be coming round on Monday to drop my stuff off. We will see

OP posts:
Conflicted1212 · 04/01/2020 23:06

So update on date tonight. Meet for a drink that ended up with many more and some food. Really nice guy, lots in common and laughed all night. Went wine tasting and had picky Italian food. What was nice was he had thought about it. He is a bit posh, but nice guy. Fingers crossed

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 04/01/2020 23:18

Great news OP.

TeddybearBaby · 04/01/2020 23:20

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

billy1966 · 05/01/2020 00:50

Glad you had a lovely evening OP. Enjoy!

mokapot · 05/01/2020 01:46

👍🏼👍🏼

aibutohavethisusername · 05/01/2020 02:31

Sounds like a great night.

MRex · 05/01/2020 14:14

What a happy outcome! Take it slow to make sure this one is a good one OP, there are ever so many options if not and you've seen how quickly you can move on if you want to.

Jimdandy · 05/01/2020 16:41

I wouldn’t send a text. I just wouldn’t message him again ever and not reply. I wouldn’t count this as ghosting as he’s trying to fade you off.

Conflicted1212 · 05/01/2020 19:40

I think this one is a nice guy. You can tell and such a better date than last guy. Think I ended up with last guy as he chased me for ages. Love bombing. But never woo’d me. Think it was the amazing sex that kept me here. Hopefully new guy asks me out again. He said he would like to on the date. Just okay it cool now!

OP posts:
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