Eating only until tummy is full bollocks

[pjmask]

It's all gone too far. Lunch with dsis, bil and their kids in a local restaurant. Their DC order meals that are clearly going to be far too much just from the description. Before they have even started dsis is reminding them they don't have to eat all of it, or even any of it, just until their tummy tells them they are full.

They eat a very small amount of the most unhealthy, nutritionally void part of the meal then announce they are full. Fine. Then they order puddings five minutes later. I will not let my dc order puddings as they have also not finished their meals parroting "tummy says no" nonsense. I suggest we pop to the supermarket on the way home and get ice cream to enjoy later when tummy is not so full instead of wasting money and food buying puddings for four full children. Get told by bil in a rather patronising way that "in our house we choose not to battle over food"

A. What a total dick he is
B. Telling a child who is full to wait a couple of hours before pudding is not having a "battle" over food
C. They are sadly not the only people I've encountered recently who have over-embraced this mantra. For the record my eldest is 22 and I've never been a "clear your plate" sort of parent. The days of great aunt gertie holding your nose and forcing liver and onions in your mouth are hopefully gone! But there is a balance to be had surely, in teaching children not to overload their plates, over-order and simply to appreciate food (especially meat) and how easily available it is?

Aibu?

Depends how often you eat out with them. We go back to the UK once a year, and GPs like to take us out for dinner as a family with DSIL and her family. They like to go to a chain place where the portions are huge and the desserts are frankly obscene. We would choose to eat somewhere like this normally. The DC eat far too much, and never finish anything. But it’s once a year, «it’s a treat» for the DC, it’s not going to drastically change their normal eating patterns. So we let it go.

We would never choose...

Yabu. And sound a little unhinged, OP.

What business is it of yours? Food is food, it's not something to ever have a battle over.

If the kids wanted something from a bigger meal and didn't eat the rest, so what. They ate what they wanted until they were satisfied with that. That doesn't mean they didn't save a little space, or wanted to eat dessert solely for the pleasure of it. Which, is the entire sodding point of dessert normally - enjoyment! You were eating out, were you not? For most that is a time to splurge and experience a little enjoyment.

Food is usually the first thing children have choice over, and pretty much the only thing they will always have choice over in their life.

You sound like a total crank.

To be fair, pudding goes in a totally different stomach. That's a scientific fact My pudding stomach is vast and cannot be satiated

YANBU. If they're too full for most of their first course, why on earth would they need pudding?

YANBU. Most people are a bit too dim to get the nuance involved in otherwise simple ideas.

It’s the same here. Eat as much as you like, but if you don’t eat much don’t think you’re getting fruit or yogurt.

I agree with you, I think it’s obscene to see people overload their plate, leave half and then order a pudding ... and leave most of it. I also have family members who do this (& they never offer to pay for the meal) & I think it is very rude and greedy.

Sounds like a great excuse for them to not touch the vegetables

It's up to them - but they are being fools, as any child who knows ice cream/puddings/sweets are there for the taking if they pick at three chips and a baked bean before declaring they're full will inevitably exist on a diet that comprises 98% sugar.

Not your problem.

I never withhold pudding because my kids didn't eat the main course. Pudding is awesome.
The "tummy is full" is a bit twee but the sentiment is ok if that's how they deal with meal times with their kids.

YABU. Teaching them to recognise when they are full is important, as is choosing not to battle over food. It will hopefully lead to healthy behaviour around food as they grow older. As for the pudding situation, kids always want pudding no matter how full they are!

Well they're right about only eating until they're full but clearly silly to order a meal that is too big for them - very wasteful for a start. If I did that DC2 would eat nothing but the chips then happily order the ice cream sundae for two!

YABU and sound like you have food control issues.

It makes no difference to you what others do or don’t do with their meals.

The tummy door reopens for pudding. Fact.

Fine if they leave their main meal but i wouldnt be buiying them pudding no

I wouldn't be wasting a fortune on kids buying food then wasting it and then ordering more to waste it. However if I knew that they had small appetites then I would he telling them to order something off the kids menu.

I’m a bit confused by both your approach and their’s.

I’d allow my children to choose from the menu, would sometimes allow full adult portions, sometimes ask for half portions etc.

Personally I’d often “leave room for pudding” ie eat a small main so that I could eat a pudding so, so long as there had been a decent attempt to eat the main and a chance for a breather then pudding could be ok. Otherwise I’d do as you suggested and offe4 to get nice ice cream to eat at home later.

I’m not really sure why anyone is BU and certainly not sure why “tummy is full” would be bollocks?

To add insult to injury dsis split the bill 50/50 They basically encouraged their kids to over order. Congratulate themselves on how progressive they are as parents and how their kids won't have eating disorders because they let them eat three chips, throw the rest of their food away and then buy them an ice cream sundae. Then expect me to pay half for an obscene and totally avoidable waste of food.

Yabu. It's OK to be full up with main course and still have room for a pudding. Eating out for us as a family is a treat, not a regular occurrence. I agree with the poster that says you sound self righteous.

YADNBU to think their behaviour is daft but if you’re not paying who cares? Bil could have been pulled up on his comment though - just as it’s no business of yours if their kids have dessert, you are perfectly entitled to tell yours that if their ‘tummy is full’ then they clearly don’t want dessert.

I quite agree with you but I don’t think you can win this kind of battle.

Seriously??? You are being so unreasonable

@MoltoAgitato you realise that's batshit, right? If you only wanted fruit for dinner and someone told you "No, you have to eat your chicken and potato" that is the equivalent of telling a child to clear their plate when not hungry?

There is nothing nutritionally advantagious to eating savoury before sweet if you feed your child proper yogurt and fruit for dessert, so your logic is bonkers and you're just teaching them utterly shite eating habits.

Source: Paediatric Dietetics and common bloody sense.

I've just been for a curry. I over ordered and couldn't finish it but I still managed to squeeze an ice cream in. By your rules should I have been forced to eat the last bit of naan and rice before I could have my ice cream?
You should always stop when you are full. I really was full too. I couldn't have eaten any more main at all.