Eating only until tummy is full bollocks

[pjmask]

It's all gone too far. Lunch with dsis, bil and their kids in a local restaurant. Their DC order meals that are clearly going to be far too much just from the description. Before they have even started dsis is reminding them they don't have to eat all of it, or even any of it, just until their tummy tells them they are full.

They eat a very small amount of the most unhealthy, nutritionally void part of the meal then announce they are full. Fine. Then they order puddings five minutes later. I will not let my dc order puddings as they have also not finished their meals parroting "tummy says no" nonsense. I suggest we pop to the supermarket on the way home and get ice cream to enjoy later when tummy is not so full instead of wasting money and food buying puddings for four full children. Get told by bil in a rather patronising way that "in our house we choose not to battle over food"

A. What a total dick he is
B. Telling a child who is full to wait a couple of hours before pudding is not having a "battle" over food
C. They are sadly not the only people I've encountered recently who have over-embraced this mantra. For the record my eldest is 22 and I've never been a "clear your plate" sort of parent. The days of great aunt gertie holding your nose and forcing liver and onions in your mouth are hopefully gone! But there is a balance to be had surely, in teaching children not to overload their plates, over-order and simply to appreciate food (especially meat) and how easily available it is?

Aibu?

@bingbangbing

It’s not about guilt tripping children to eat. Although I don’t agree with you that having the ‘luxury’ in a western world of going to a food bank constitutes as starving

And I know that clearing your dinner plate will not feed anyone else who is starving. For me it’s the principle. Food is a privilege not afforded to some. It should not be taken for granted. Children should be encouraged to take what they can manage and eat what they can. It’s absolutely disgusting how much food we throw away, we are becoming a fat and greedy society. I hope the next generation buys less (Do we really need so much in our cupboards and freezers) and throws less away.

Children should be encouraged to take what they can manage and eat what they can.

But it can be very difficult to gauge that in a restaurant setting where children’s portions can vary hugely.

What’s wrong with ordering what they want and taking what’s left over to go?

@Leobynature

You cannot describe going to a food bank as luxury and then lecture me about your principles.

God save us from people with "principles"!

I’m appalled by how many people think flippant food waste is fine!

Its such a big part of a parenting ‘ethos’,

• The concept of privilege
• Fulfilling but not exceeding your needs
• Appreciation of both effort and money

A child who is taught it’s fine to order a large meal, eat 1/8 of it, bin the rest and immediately order dessert will be a despicably wasteful and ungrateful adult with poor self control. I know quite a few of these people and it translates from food into other aspects of life. Wasteful and irresponsible.

Surely it’s better to just let the child order the dessert and skip the main meal- if they’re not even going to make an attempt at eating it!

Personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with small children (under 10) sharing food, either with parents or just ordering a small side dish/one child meal and letting them split it! Then split a dessert too!
If they scoff it and want more...order more! Better that than wasting X amount of food every time you go out!

@ bingbangbing

Please note by inverted commas. It’s not a luxury to go to a food bank in a western world however many other countries do not have food banks and people die of starvation. There are very very few cases of people dying of starvation in the UK due to our NHS.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with a doggy bag.

Look you don't like them, you don't like how they manage kids food when going out for a meal, and you're judgemental about it.

You do uou. They do them. Don't meet up for meals.

Personally I couldn't be arsed judging folks like this on a meal out. So I'll do me...🤣

I just love the double standards on mn. Yeah kids order a shit ton of food, leave the majority, and here's some chocolate cake for being a good kid and eating some chips. I thought you were all environmentally friendly on here?

YANBU op, but this is the standard of parenting these days. Reward for an easier life and to shut the kids up. If the kid isn't hungry enough to eat dinner, they aren't hungry enough for dessert. Telling them otherwise just puts them on a sugar only diet which is just so healthy. Telling them no now and again isn't evil. And hoping that letting them make poor choices now so they make healthy ones later is just insane.

I don't understand how anyone could think the op was having a battle over food anyway?

The other parents in this situation are being idiots imo. Their kids know if they eat 3 spoonfuls of their main and declare they're full then they'll get pudding. This does not set anyone up for a lifetime of good eating habits surely?!

I agree with stopping when full but this sounds like they've taken it to an extreme which is unhealthy. Why waste food and money? If you know they'll only eat pudding then don't order masses of main that you know they won't touch!

Yanbu op - some absolutely ridiculous comments and attitudes on here, including from your bil. I’m shocked that this amount of waste is seen as okay and people are saying it sounds “very sensible”
Im not one for forcing them to clear their plates either, but order from the kids menu or something they are likely to have a good go at, otherwise if they’re “not hungry” to the extent they’re not going to touch their meal then what’s the point in even eating out?! Wonder if as part of their “in our house we don’t battle about food” bil and his type would probably let the kids stuff their face with snacks earlier in the day when they know they’ll be eating out later, and ruin their appetite?

talk about a lot of hot air about food
their kid their choice
i take the no battle approach and we enjoy meals

if it such an issue, dont split the bill

I love the attitude in Switzerland/Austria/Germany, portions are huge but it’s common place to take your leftovers with you.

DH and I spent the best part of 2 days working our way through one meal in Switzerland 😂👍🏻 Leftovers for lunch the next day and much less food waste!

It doesn’t seem the ‘done thing’ in the U.K, everything just gets thrown away at the end!

The kids are being taught to eat the bits of the meal they want and leave the rest - these will most likely (kids being kids) be the least nutritional, highest fat, highest carb parts of the meal. They are then being taught that this is a good way to eat by rewarding them with pudding.

How is this teaching them to have a good relationship with food? They are being trained onto a diet of high fat, salt and sugar.

Judging by the number of people advocating this as a good approach to food for children, I am not surprised by the ever increasing childhood obesity epidemic.

WorldsOnFire, do you have to take a box with you for the leftovers or does the restaurant provide it?

If you wanted to do that in the UK, at present, you'd have to take your own container for the food.

@MyMajesty

Restaurants in the uk will provide a box. I do it all the time with DS. Half the time he eats it in the car

bingbangbing, thanks, I didn't know that.

Of course YABU

@MyMajesty

Most provided pretty basic containers which were fully recyclable (loved that) 👍🏻
A couple of the fancier places had fancier ones.
It was more the attitude towards it, like they expect you to take it. Most places didn’t even ask, they just brought it out when they took payment and off we went.

Sound great!

@dipsydoodle has it bang on!

If you wanted to do that in the UK, at present, you'd have to take your own container for the food.

This statement proves that you've never even tried!

I recently ate at a restaurant where a dessert was part of the package. I didn't have space for it after my main course, so I asked them to bring it to me in a box right from the start, so I could take away and eat later. The restaurant had no difficulty whatsoever in doing this.

When I say 'part of the package', I mean that the cost was included along with the main - it wasn't an option to only pay for the bit I wanted.

It should be more normal to take leftovers etc. away with you in the UK. I wonder why it isn't? It's not as if there's anything wrong with the food, and you've paid for it.

I agree with DS/BIL that they should only eat as much as they can.

That being said when we have DSD I always focus on what she's eating so if we've had spag Bol and she's only concentrating on the pasta we'll remind her to eat some of her meat too. We also hold back garlic bread etc until she's eaten a moderate amouty of 'proper food' - whether rightly or wrongly.

I also agree with your comment regarding no dessert.

Again we quite often get this with DSD. Doesn't eat all her dinner and then says what's for dessert. She knows if she doesn't finish her plate within reason she won't get any.

She can often say in the morning after not finishing her breakfast that she's hungry. When asked what she whats to eat it usually involves crisps/biscuits/chocolate but magically she's not hungry for toast/cereal/other breakfast stuff.

I don't think food has to be a battle. If DSD doesn't want to eat her dinner she doesn't that's fine - we don't force feed her but she's certainly not rewarded by being given dessert.

Each to their own I guess.

On average people in the UK throw out a third of the food they buy every week. Most of it untouched.

I didn't know this, and it's shocking. How does it even happen? Are people buying things they don't like?

There may be the odd week when meals are planned but don't happen due to unforeseen circumstances, but on a normal day to day basis food intake can be fairly reliably planned.

@xJodiex - how on earth can you know that based on one meal?

It's not that people throw away a third of what they buy, it's that a third of food produced is wasted - which is still shocking, but it's a bit more complicated (food spoiled during supply chain, shops rejecting edible food for not being at standard, retailers throwing away unsold food) than consumers just not fancying one third of what they buy and chucking it in the bin. Food waste is actually proportionally higher in developing countries as access to refrigeration and other food preservation technology is less widespread:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13364178