Mil makes dh his tea

[legolegolegolego]

Looking for some opinions on this and whether it’s a bit...well...weird or not! DH works shifts, finishing at 8pm. He’s in the habit of stopping by his mums on the way home from work where she gives him his tea. He then brings it home with him. Many times I’ve plated up a dinner for dh and he’s eaten his mums instead. Today I cooked a roast dinner (dc and I ate earlier) it was all plated ready and again he’s come home with a big plate of food from his mums. Aibu to feel like I needn’t have bothered? Should I be happy that she’s cooking his tea and I don’t have to? It just feels odd to me and I cant imagine going to my mums everyday for my tea at my age!

Just stop making his tea. Will save you some money.

That's weird. What does your DH think? Did he know you were cooking.
It reads like your MIL is trying to retain some control over her son. And thinks your cooking isn't good enough.

Why are you with him? Why are there so many women putting up with disrespectful arseholes on MN tonight?!! Arrgghh

I even sent dh pics of said roast dinner (it was nice honest 😂) and yet he still came home with his mums dinner. Our kitchen is now filled with random plates of all shapes and sizes 😣

Weird.. Really weird.
Why does he even stop there everyday and not want to come him to his dc

You need to train him to let you know if he’s going to his mums or not. Personally I would cook for myself and DC and he can fix his own dinner or re- heat what’s left. I wouldn’t want to eat that late in the evening.

Ooof that’s a big jump @NatashaRomanov! He stops off, she likes cooking for her son, my boys are only 5 and 3 but my MIL constantly feeds my DH and the boys, it’s her way of showing love, once mine are grown I’m sure I’ll feed them whenever they stop home! It’s no way a control thing it’s a love thing.

OP either make less food or make the same and he can have it for lunch.

Tell him sex with a mummy's boy just isn't appealing..

Why doesn't he come straight home most nights?

Stop making his tea. And don't start again until he's gone hungry for at least 4 months straight.

To be honest I’d be put out just at the fact that he stops off there every single day instead of coming home to me and the children.

OP either make less food or make the same and he can have it for lunch.

Or the DH can say 'no thanks mum, my wife is cooking my tea'

What kind of a wanker doesn't want tea with his kids

This is a bit concerning, he should be coming home to you. You’re a married couple!
If he knows you’ve cooked tea then he should come straight home, otherwise stop cooking for him.
You need to have a frank conversation with him about this. He should be coming home to eat tea and spend time with you and your children.
If he wants to carry on going ‘home’ to mum ‘ instead of being with his family, then you might need to rethink your marriage. He’s supposed to be married to you, not his mum.

Yes it's weird.
He needs to tell you if he's doing this. Or just not do it and tell his mum - "no dw has cooked for me and it would be very rude of me to turn up with a plate of dinner".
Does he ever cook the dinner? Or make sure you have equivalent child free time to be doing what you want?

Snap NannyOgg that was going to be my question.
Also why does he bring it home? Why can't he eat it there?
I wouldn't be amused by that at all

It definitely feels passive aggressive to me. It’s like she’s trying to say that I won’t feed her son. This started after an argument where I told dh we were having burgers for tea, when he got home they weren’t plated up and had shrunk so were really small. He then had a massive strop over how I hadn’t made him food and how tiny the burgers were even though he wouldn’t wait for the chips and sides etc. The night after that was when he came home with food from his mums as I had “forced” him to ask his mum to feed him as I wouldn’t feed him. Ffs.

She cant let him go. I'd suggest if he wants to eat mummies dinner then he can eat it there, saves you cooking for him. Eat when and shere you wnd DC want to, go out and treat yourselves, let his mummy look after him. Maybe he should take his dirty washing there too.

It's a bit weird. Not that she makes him tea in itself, but that they both disregard the fact you have made it too! Does he even tell her tea is waiting for him at home? He is worried to upset her or something? Need more info.

I would be tempted to ask her to make 2 portions for him to bring back, would save me from cooking.

Did he eat your roast or his mum's plate?

To be honest I wouldn’t have cooked for him again after the burger incident. Twat.

Definitely weird. It’s like he needs to go home for dinner before coming out to play again.

How often does this happen?
If it's maybe once a week, to be honest, I'd let it go. She's not judging you. (Unless she undermines you in other ways).
Feeding is love for many parents!

I’d just ignore it and stop cooking for him.