£100 for xmas dinner

[disneydatknee]

We went to sis inlayws for xmas dinner this year and shes charging £100 per family. No alcohol was provided, we had to bring our own. Pud was brought by another family member. All her veg was free from a local charity for food waste. So she only paid for meat which I ate about half a palmful of beef of. My family consists of 2 adults and 2 children that ate fuck all. Aibu to say I'm not fucking paying it? No back story or drip feed. This is it!

Don’t pay it-she’s taking the piss clearly-ask her how she got to that figure seeing as she didn’t provide drinks/pud or veg...

Are you going to ask her OP?

Ask her to show her workings. Then put them on here and we will happily rip them to shreds. Go on, OP!

There is my family of 2 adults, 2 kids, her parents which means they have to pay £50 each! Them which is 2 adults 3 kids and sister which is 3 adults 3 kids.

Sorry 2 adults 3 kids is the sister! Damn you autocorrect

I've not yet brought it up with the sponger to ask her workings! My husband wants to ignore the issue and just not pay. He knows his other sister will pay and not argue so there is no rift. His parents will also do the same

I have not hosted xmas yet. I've not long been married into this family and our house is tiny.

Build an extension, then invite them all for Christmas 2020, charging them £5k per head to cover the build cost.

I’d send 100 pennies in the post 🤣🤣🤣🤣here’s your Contribution cheeky sod

I’m happy to contribute, but that is ridiculous. She can’t raise the cost after the fact and it needs to reflect reality. I think you should let your husband handle this one. It’s his sister. If he doesn’t want to pay, just don’t.

Tell her to go and whistle for it then. Seriously! What's she going to do, sue you? Don't kowtow to her then. 'NO. It wasn't worth more than a tenner. Two of us didn't eat, there was next to no meat, you didn't pay for veg, booze or dessert. So we're not paying you for that. Do you want a tenner or not?'

The end.

So...

They’re charging “per family” not per person?

They’re charging for alcohol that other people drank?

And some people in the extended family will be A-OK with that and pay up without a murmur?

Fucking hell! I’ve hosted 3x meals here over the NY and Xmas period for different people - yes it is expensive but I’d not dream of charging. Happy to ask people to bring stuff, happy to understand I am also hosted by others...but your scenario is piss-taking of epic levels.

Just do what your DH wants, or pay £50 tops and suggest your PIL do the same. Wow.

The normal thing to do in this family especially at Christmas is put up and shut up. His parents will moan about it but pay it. She is a sponger and as most of the fam will spend above and beyond and expect nothing, she has clearly looked at her bank balance and gone shit I've over spent so my family can pay me back this way!!

I hope the person who provided the pudding is charging her £100?

You agreed to pay £50 for meal including alcohol. So to not pay would be really rude.
I wouldn’t argue the whys and wherefores and ask for itemisation. I’d breezily stick £40 in a “thank you” card and write “thanks for a lovely meal, and a lovely time - we took £10 off for the alcohol xxx”. I’d probably even round up a leftover box of chocolates to go with it. Just ignore that £100 was ever mentioned.

If they have the brass neck to say “it’s £100” stand your ground, but politely. “You said £50 - I don’t understand?”. Don’t get into justifying the £50 over the £100, as you can never breakdown who ate what. Yes, you had a tiny amount of beef -but perhaps that was your choice and they catered more. So don’t get into you justifying it. Make them justify the doubling of cost agreed. Cos they won’t be able to

Or just say, “you’re having a fucking laugh - you said £50 and that was with booze. “

She literally messaged everyone 2 days after xmas with her back details like oh I've calculated it's now £100 per family. Please pay today. Who this time of year has the funds for this? We agreed £50. We budged £50. We are not well off at all. We had to save just for this

I’d be tempted to send an odd amount like £17.54 or £23.28 ‘to take into account the original cost was to include your costs for booze, pudding and veg and seeing as we didn’t have any booze and the pudding and veg were free to you this takes that into account to make it fair and equal’.

Putting a strange amount in rather than a simple round £20 or £50 etc means they will be wondering quite how you have come to the amount rather than making you pay the full amount.

Depends how money grabbing they are vs loving family as to whether or not they invite you back next year I guess!

THEN DONT GIVE HER 100 QUID! 'We were told 50 and including alcohol. So since there was no alcohol here's 40.' Then just stop indulging her or going to hers for meals.

Send £50. Await contact over ‘missing’ £50. Ask for justification. Of which there will be none. Ignore anything further.

Give her £50 this year and do dinner for your own small family next year. Ask in-laws round to yours for drinks and snacks on Boxing Day but suggest they bring their own drinks. They have set the precedent for pay as you go after all.

In all honestly if I did the sums myself I think as a family we prob didnt even cost them a tenner

Who the actual fuck charges their family for Christmas dinner? I mean, what? Really? Most guests are happy to pitch up with a few bottles of wine or even the pudding or whatever but if you can't afford to host then don't invite people.

Absolutely fucking bonkers behaviour.

Send less, then. Give her £10 per adult & £5 per child...

We have not yet replied to her message with the sum and bank details. Husband is willing to wash his hands of her entirely! I guess not my place as it's his sister but shit this feels awful

I'd just send the £50 and say sorry this is what we were asked originally, and this is what we budgeted for. X

How much did you spend on alcohol? Subtract it from the 50 quid and transfer the rest.