For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

They all live in a village and the OP on the edge of said village. So they'd know all about private land, or so you'd think.

"Mad horsy woman killed my dog" + Daily mail sadface. Yeah, no.

I'd go legal before I responded online to stuff like this. People misread and fight over nothing, as we've seen on this thread.

Watch the IT Crowd "the Internet is coming" episode and keep your hands off your keyboard!

There could be a mare in foal or anything. The OP might have been frightened enough to call police for intruders on her property.

Incidentally OP, some people do scope out properties for theft under the guise of something else. Just saying.

Other theory is that they think that since you're the missing jigsaw piece, you are responsible for the death of this dog. I wouldn't like that being what the village is gossiping about when I tootle into town for bread and milk!

Do they not like farmers? Or is it just horsey folk in particular lol.

Normally I say don’t reply to the crazies as it’s just not worth engaging.

However I think your going to have to post the eloquent reply above. Otherwise they will fixate on your land being the missing jigsaw piece and where the dog is - which is why they can’t find it.

I get that your profession means you need to tread carefully. But I don't think it precludes you from commenting.

Short, factual and non accusatory would be fine.

Hello all. Unfortunately, my horse was injured last night by a searcher spooking him. My land is private and climbing our fence to search for the dog in the dark is dangerous. I regularly search our land and outbuildings for the dog. Please don't climb our fences or enter our land without permission. If you want access please just ask. I hope the dog is found safe and well soon.

And don't engage again!

I sincerely hope her dog is not dead sad. It could be anywhere with anyone, more likely taken in by someone than died.

In the country? No. It's been hit by a car, eaten something poisonous, or, depending on its size, taken by a fox. At least that's my experience with rural animals who go missing (except I'm from Canada so replace fox with coyote, lynx, bear, eagle, etc).

100% defend yourself on social media Inc text of what was actually said if needs be, along with copy of vets bill. Explain risks of entering farm at night without permission to both animals and them. And then leave it at that and don't respond further.

This is completely unacceptable ! Your poor horse .The trouble with these kinds of searches ,are they can often turn into some sort of "treasure Hunt" .While the majority of people have good intentions ,there always seems to be a sort of trophy hunter ,who must look everywhere and be "the one" who found Bean .No one has the right to tresspass all over someone elses land and they know it !

You can post a comment on the page - very similar to the very first (articulate) one posted on this thread. Then turn off commenting so no-one can reply.

I would perhaps contact the page admin in advance. Our local pages are very tightly admin'd. Eg someone local was killed by a car - there were mental health issues and drivers had been trying to get emergency services out for some time. The admins closed down any form of comments apart from condolences. So admins can be very sensitive to local feeling.

I think you do need to post. If people know who you are from the message, it could affect you socially (and people might be even more inclined to sneak around your land as they will think it's the only unsearched place). If they don't know who you are, they will keep scaring the horses.

Normally ignoring lies and nonsense makes it go away quicker, but as you actually need people to stop searching your land, I think you need to say something.

I would post something on Facebook as well. A separate post, with a screenshot of your message, noting that you have been nothing but accommodating until your horse was injured - and it’s upsetting to be made out to be ‘scum’ when all you have asked is that permission is sought before anyone goes on your land.

Then say actually you’ve changed your kind and permission is permanently withdrawn. Then leave the group.

So sorry to hear about your horse I hope he is recovering.

I wonder if you could post from another angle, something along the lines of asking people not to come into fields containing livestock as spooked horses might cause injury to themselves or people in their distress? I have no idea if that makes you liable for anything though. It seems wrong for you to need to ignore it.

You sound nice but I would totally put up an electric fence and if anyone was shocked by it make out I was worried what with animals going missing and everything...

I'd post a photo of your horses stitches on fb and ask her if it's ok to hurt your horses to look for her dog. I'd also ask her if she's happy to pay for the vets bill - regards mad horsey woman.

Any future trespassers will be prosecuted

Except trespass is a civil matter so you can’t prosecute.

I agree with pp that you need to write something on fb but I’m inclined to agree that you don’t say ask if you want to search, leave that out. You don’t want idiots tramping up at all hours.

Any future trespassers will be SHOT

Total bollocks of course but it would put the fear of God into me.

Op, there's NOTHING unprofessional about a simple declaration of your position along with a polite request not to enter your land???

I saw a fabulous sign that said..."one more trespasser and my wind chime is complete" it had 3 pieces of string with bullet casings at the end and one empty piece of string.

Perhaps not.

I understand you not wanting to comment publicly but I don’t think this will stop unless you do?

I like @DonPablo’s suggestion. Short and to the point.

I saw a fabulous sign that said..."one more trespasser and my wind chime is complete" it had 3 pieces of string with bullet casings at the end and one empty piece of string

I like that. Merry Christmas, and God bless us, every one!

I saw a fabulous sign that said..."one more trespasser and my wind chime is complete" it had 3 pieces of string with bullet casings at the end and one empty piece of string.

Perhaps not.

That is GENIUS.

I'd comment on her post and include the fact that if she'd have been looking after her dog properly it wouldn't be missing.

If I were you I wld post something on Facebook along the lines of....
“There seems to be some misunderstanding arising with regard the missing dog and my land. Just to clarify, this is the message I sent to ———- earlier”

What sort of pooch is the lad that's gone missing?

I haven't RTFT but the FB post is defamatory - you're clearly identifiable in it.
I'd report the post to FB on that basis. If it gets reposted, perhaps a solicitor's letter to the dog owner warning her of the consequences of defamation. You may have legal insurance via your home insurance.