For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

Post that ^ OP

I would screenshot your message to her and post that, with a comment about "if she can lie about this then you've got to wonder what else she is lying about...

Do post a correction op explaining the situation and how the horse got spooked and injured. CFs lose dogs too.

I would respond. It could affect your relationships with the rest of the community going forward. It's not on that your horse has been injured due to trespassing.

if she can lie about this then you've got to wonder what else she is lying about

Fgs don't post this ^^🤦

Also, having family who own livestock and land, I can 100% say that unless you speak to the owners/farmers, you will never know when they are in fact shooting predatory animals such as foxes on their land

Post a copy of the vet bill.
Say you were happy to be accommodating up until now but, as this cooperation has resulted in harm to your prescious animal and an expensive vet bill, you can no longer allow people uninvited onto your land.
Awful.

I would respond that you. Appreciate dog is missing but searchers are spooking and hurting your animals so a knock at your door and.ask is all that is needed.love and light mad. Horsey lady.

I would reply to the post and say 'You forgot to mention that because people turned up on MY land last night unannounced and with flash lights, my horse got spooked and injured itself and required stitches. I have no issue with you looking for your dog on my land as long as permission is sought first and preferably in day light. I have animals on MY land that need kept safe and as I always have done, I will keep looking for your dog and allowing you to look - with permission, nothing at all selfish about that. I'm just looking out for animals just like you are, please use facts in future dear'

Yep - screen shot your message to her and post it in the group itself , not as a comment. She sounds like an absolute arsehole. The dog probably wanted to get away from her.

@Tiredafterthisweek "Fgs don't post this ^^"
And why not exactly? The dig owner is being unreasonable and targeting the horse owner, in an emotive situation, knowing fine well that there will be those who will be adament they can do whatever they want to the horse owner, her animals and her land.

The lost dogs owner lied why shouldn't that be pointed out? And it does make me question of the dog is actually lost or at a relatives house which had happened before on Facebook until they were outed by said family member Some people just like attention and drama... 🤦‍♀️

I’d post something along the lines of Moctod’s post above, but rather than say you’d allow searchers to access your land I’d say that you check your land and buildings regularly and are keeping an eye out for her dog all the time. I’d also say that it is not acceptable to injure another pet (your horse) while searching for hers. I have a small holding and horses too. I’d be cross in your shoes too.

Make your position clear on the fb page. I am on similar pages and am a similar mad horsey lady and I would quite honestly go batshit over their arses for that.

I too think you need to respond and set the record straight. Your horse was injured.

What you said was perfectly reasonable. I suggest you explain everything you've done and are prepared to do, just as you have here, and leave it at that.

Honestly - Facebook - is pretty awful at times.

Professional Boss because the whole situation will degenerate into a mad fight on FB which the whole village will be glued to and no-one comes out looking good.

I'd post a copy of the get bill and an announcement that trespassers will be prosecuted. No one has any entitlement to be on your land.

Sympathies op, last year I was minding my own business in the kitchen when the dog went mental and I saw a strange man climbing over the garden gate!

I politely asked him what he was doing (actually I asked him what the fuck he was doing on my property) and he got really arsey and said that he was looking for a lost cat. Apparently this gave him the right to commit trespass anywhere he wanted.

I wasn't convinced but checked our local lost pets Facebook page and yes, there was a missing cat (several actually) and there were several posts from other people who'd found the strange man on their property looking for it.

People justifiably complaining about the trespasser were shouted down as 'he was looking for a missing cat'

DH was recently accosted while walking our dog by some woman who seemed to think that our dog was actually a missing one that had been all over Facebook. The fact that our dog and the missing one were different genders and breeds passed her by.

So sorry about your horse, why do people see something on fucking Facebook and immediately become some sort of pound shop Sherlock Holmes?

I honestly would just forget about them all. People go crazy about this sort of thing, and whatever you say, soon of them won't see your point at all.

The FUCKING COW!!! 😡😡😡

My first thought is to install electric fencing round the perimeter, borrow three big scary rottweillers and patrol the property brandishing electrified cattle prods.

Failing that, I’d go for the less nuclear option (@moctodtensmum ’s suggestion rather than @ProfessionalBoss’).

You could always change your FB name to ‘Mad Horse Lady’ just for the evening.

@Tiredafterthisweek be honest, are you the dog owner? The dog owner is the one trying to make "whole situation will degenerate into a mad fight on FB" by her inflammatory and untrue statement...

Oh my goodness, I'm so angry on your behalf, this is awful. Who in their right mind thinks it's ok to break into people's property at night and cause animals to be injured? That's so unbelievably irresponsible! And this woman sounds awful to write something like that.

I wouldn't normally say getting involved in social media drama is a good idea but I agree with PP that in this case a public message to the group explaining what's happened along with screenshots of the messages and the vet bill might actually be a good idea.

Obviously looking for a missing dog is a good thing but not at the cost of harming other animals!

Well the Dog is unlikely to be lying hurt in your field one month on is he?

I would copy the message you have sent her on to the Facebook page and follow it up saying as your Horse has been hurt you will only be allowing the Dog’s owner to look if arranged with you.

The amateur detectives are unlikely to achieve anything are they? It’s unlikely he’s on your land if he hasn’t been found now.

People are bonkers over missing dogs. My sister in law is one such bonkers person. Picking random dogs up off the street (one of which bit her baby son ffs - my MIL had to be peeled off the ceiling over that one) and posting on Facebook that she’s found a lost dog. Loving all the drama. I have ever understood quite how she finds so many of them when I don’t ever recall seeing a single lost dog.

But then maybe I’m just not looking hard enough 🤷🏻‍♀️