For feeling bullied by the FB "missing dog" group

[frillyfarts]

A dog in our village went missing just over a month ago, and since then her owners have obviously been beside themselves looking for it. We live at the edge the village and have just over four acres of land running down to the river, a few outbuildings and some stables where I keep my horses and five pet sheep. We have dogs ourselves so I do understand their panic/desperation to get them back, our dogs are part of the family and I can't imagine what they're going through.

When he first went missing, we checked all our buildings and walked the perimeter of the paddocks - I messaged the lady to tell her this and she acknowledged it. Since then, there has been a significant Facebook following on the dog's missing page and all kinds of people have turned up to help look.

This has slowly become an issue as we've had strangers climb into our fields and spook the horses, trying to access our buildings (some of which we have valuables in) and walking around the paddocks in the dark which has scared me as I was alone and not expecting to see flashlights on our land.

The final straw was last night when a group spooked my horse who jumped the fence and injured himself, I had to get the vet out, he needed stitches. I feel I've been accommodating and I would always allow the lady (whose dog it is) to come and look for him as she is known to me, but obviously I don't want strangers walking about our buildings and scaring the horses at night. So I sent her a text this morning to say please make everyone aware they are not to enter my property without my permission - I explained the back story with the horse and vet.

This evening I have seen on FB that she has posted a long rant that "everyone in the village is helping to search for Bean and has been so cooperative, apart from one mad horsey lady who has sadly refused us any further permission to search for the dog. This leaves a missing piece in the jigsaw and he could be laying hurt in her field because of her own selfishness."

I feel bullied - I don't dare to communicate further with her because I feel it will be twisted against me and I feel like I'm been made to feel like the villain in this. I don't want to send her an angry message either for fear it will be screenshot and posted. She hasn't mentioned me by name or address so I don't think there is anything I can do? I just feel so got at, and so annoyed that I spent so long looking for their dog and I'm just been made to feel like the bad guy.

She's obviously thick as two short planks with no idea how to find a lost dog. Traipsing all over the place at night with lamps is absolutely insane.

I'd have been furious at that too and would have called the police and reported illegal hunting activity.

Don't respond as yourself on the post, use a fake account or friends account to post that she's out of order for name calling and publishing a lot of false information.

Then report it to the group admins if it's been shared on a community page.

Some people just thrive on the drama and love to victimise themselves. It sounds like 'Bean' has had a lucky escape

I can’t believe people are still searching a month later!

I would post the facts on this post and then message the woman and say if she doesn’t apologise and confirm the facts that you will be talking to a solicitor as she could incite all sorts of crazy vigilante nutters

Initially I thought you should respond on FB, but I think your DH talking in the pub and telling people the facts would be more beneficial, especially as you live in a small village.

Respond on FB....all property searched on several dates. Trespassers now caused injury to your animals and you will continue to support her search not trespass.

It’s not bullying.
Just respond asking if it was you she refers to.
Say you have said if permission is given you can come on land. This is due to an injury to your horse caused by someone coming on land without permission.
Follow up with I’m sure as an animal lover that was reasonable request.

@SchadenfreudePersonified I wasn't talking to the op about the law on trespass I was talking to a PP who suggested calling police for trespass

Honestly I worlds put out a post on the group "remember when you are out searching at night to inform Land owners, especially those with animals. Some animals scare easily and either run away or get hurt. One animal already has so please check before how best to search safely so more animals aren't hurt or lost. Some animals are also terrorital so steady safe out there"

Then post a photo of the stitches but in a way it isn't too obvious what the animal might be if you don't want to be seen as the crazy horse lady. You are showing concern for others and animals. Can't argue with that. Kill them with kindness I say.

Had a bull get out at pony club camp once - animals are very unpredictable so they had to ensure search parties did everything to keep everyone and every animal safe.

It has been a month. Your husband seeing up lights and stuff is a good move. My first thought was that it has been stolen though from the breed and length it has been missing.

My husband was in the pub yesterday and he's eased my mind quite a lot as most of the locals seem thoroughly fed up with the search party and apparently she's known for twisting the truth.

^^yep exactly that, they know her well so will take no notice. Just ignore I reckon, and maybe think about sending them the bill but don't respond on Facebook.

She sounds a complete idiot. If you’ve done a thorough search on your property then she should be bloody grateful. Why is anybody roaming around in the dark with torches looking for the dog? That’s just bonkers.

A distressed bloke approached me and DH only the other day in our park when we were out with our dogs, asking if we’d seen his working cocker spaniel which had got out from under the gate at his mother’s house. He was only visiting and lived 200 miles away so obviously the dog didn’t know the area. Over the next couple of days we kept hearing from different doggy pals where the dog had been sighted and it was eventually found safe and well nearly eight miles away.

Maybe this owner needs to look at her own responsibilities- why is the dog missing in the first place? I have three working retrievers, an old goldie and two flatcoats and if we’re at home, our property is secure and they can’t get off our land and when we’re out with them either in the park or more often up on the moors, one whistle brings them straight back to us.

You’re quite right to be angry and upset and I really hope your horse is okay.

I read your original post but not read through the thread as I am quite angry on your behalf. I have dogs, as do you, and we understand her panic that a dog has gone missing because, as you say, dogs are part of our family. But you have been more than accommodating and sympathetic and now to have people trespassing and putting your own animals in danger us just not on.

I live in a rural community and would call her out in a comment to her ranting. Point out that you have allowed her to search your land on more than one occassion, point out that you were sympathetic and accommodating but she has been ungracious and ungrateful. Also comment that she is now encouraging people to put the lives of your own animals in danger.

Not sure if I’m in this missing dog group but a similar sounding dog (name begins with T?) has a rather angry post the other day regarding cameras being taken down and batteries stolen ... if so YANBU as they shouldn’t be putting cameras up on your property in any case but even if not I’d ignore

Spot on advice. 👍

It will all die down OP.
We had something similar a while back with local kids camping in our garden, some of which is wild woodland that we like to keep as natural as possible.
They were setting camp fires and trampling badger setts etc. We asked their parents not to let them onto private land and they denied that we even owned the land.
Lots of complaints about us on FB.
Thought half the village was against us but in fact most people were very supportive.
In the end it did all settle down and it's practically forgotten about now.
There are a lot of idiots on FB.
I hope things quickly improve for you.

Those dog pages are so strange. We had a lost dog and people turned up from all over the place (not from the area). It got so much the owner of the dog was asking them to stay away and they still wouldn't and were trespassing all over the place.

I’d post the truth in one of the comments to her rant post. Show the texts you sent. What a cheeky horrible cow.

Reply to the post on fb saying what actually happened and the conversation between you

Nearly a year ago I had a bit of a run in with a fellow dog walker. She posted a rant on Facebook about me being aggressive and my dogs being dangerous. I was so tempted to reply with the truth, but to be honest she scared me a bit and I had a very sick husband at the time and didn’t need the hassle. A few people recognised it was about me, but her post was so OTT that people were laughing about it re her. Today, in front of other villagers, she did something that proved whose dog was out of control and who was aggressive, while I stood meekly watching. People will work out the truth sooner or later!

I can understand why you feel the way you do, @frillyfarts and, given the situation, I think it’s probably best not to respond. As you say, emotion is running high, and the internet can be a nasty place when the hysteria takes over. Given what your husband had heard, I’d let it lie and let them make themselves unpopular and install bear traps

q

Sorry OP.

others are right, I think. We were bullied by a neighbor once. He made me feel like entire neighborhood was angry with us bc we had failed to move empty boxes quickly enough when we moved.

We later learned nobody liked him or his evil friend.

Best wishes on your horse and tbh, I do not think that her dog will be found, unfortunately. A friend`s dog was found but many sightings as he ran about looking for love. They caught him within 24hours. He was happily waltzing down a sidewalk looking quite pleased with himself the next morning.

Dogs sometimes come to harm, leave unhappy homes or are stolen. Bean sounds like one of the sad outcomes.

I would post on the group about you being scared when alone and strangers appear on your land unannounced and your horse has been hurt. You are welcome to come and check the land and buildings when your in.

DartmoorDoughnut as an aside, I'm on that group too and noticed they didn't say where they put the cameras...I strongly suspect they installed it someone else's land!

OP, i think this is already underway but if i were you i wouldn't reply online either. I would instead continue with the same calm, clear narrative to anyone who mentions it in the pub, village shop etc.

Ffs. A Bichon Frise is not going to survive a month in this weather. And given that they’re usually white, if you’ve only got four acres a white dog would show up fairly quickly.

My money’s also on it being nicked.